friend

[DarknessRules]

its very hard to talk about. these feeling that i have. that in haveing these feelings i have gone against what i believe in. its hurting me to the point that i am very close to not being able to take it anymore. i cant imagen life without her. when im around her i feel alot of things. im happier then ive ever been. im angrier then ive ever been. more depressed aswell. and i go through massive anxiety attack. and everything in between. i love talking to her but im terrified to do so. she has a great personality and is the most important person in the world to me. theres alot more to say but i cant bring myself to yet. ill say more when i can. one last thing. i am not willing to part with her. i am not willing to end our friendship for any reason. i dont know what i want out of sharing this. input to hopefully put my mind at ease till i can talk to my therapist again. i wanted to talk to him about this but for reasons beyond my control i missed my last 2 appointments. so i just need to talk about it.

[SweetSue]

Hi DarknessRules.

I dont know if I can help, but Ive got a friendly ear and can listen

Whats happened between you and your friend, that makes you go against everything you believe in?

I am sorry that you are hurting

Take care

[DarknessRules]

i took a risk with her. ive been hurt by so many people. i decided at a young age that i couldnt trust or love anyone. but then i met her like around 6 and half years ago. i got to know her and decided to trust her. then shortly after that i came to love her. that gos against everything i believed in. that people cant be trusted. let alone loved. but these feelings didnt start happening till sometime earlyer this year. i had no problems talkin to her before. and being around her was no problem ether. but about a month ago i went to visit her and i got those feelings every time she was around. and when i try to text her i get the same results as tryin to talk in person. i just cant do it and i dont know why. i havnt been able to text her unless she texted me for a few months now. i wish i knew why...

[DarknessRules]

it was through meeting and knowing her that i came to believe i could trust again. im afraid that will change if i lose her... and if i cant bring myself to talk to her im gonna lose her...

[eppursimuove]

i think u sould tell her man, better to risk that to be her friend forever at least its my opinion what.

call her, arrenge a meeting somewhere she likes and at some point just spitit out.

[DarknessRules]

i would love to do that. before i continue. i have to say that i havnt given all the info. and as you ask questions and make suggestions i am filling in the gaps. i am not shooting down any advice or suggestions. and im sorry if at times it looks that way.

that said. i would love to call her and do that. but at this time she is traveling. her phone was stolen. she is currently in california with her family and planing on movein on to go other places. im not expecting her to be back here in this state for atleast a year. if not longer seeing as she is hitchhiking to go places. which adds more worry about her... i really wish i had gone with her when she ask me to...

[eppursimuove]

Well maybe u sould visit her, save some money and go there where she lives or where shes going to live. And said it all, u just whant to ear the same thing said to u after this the rest is ur story make.

[DarknessRules]

i get what your sayin. its a great plan. i wouldnt make it in time to see her at this point but ill send the message along that i need to talk to her. till then ill continue to make more of the story known. this will help me to know how to go about it and hopefully lighten the load when me and her are face to face. i do feel a bit better though.

[eppursimuove]

duplicated post, silly me.

[eppursimuove]

The shy dude no, just go there talk calm and at one point depending or her expresions or what she says u, ur gonna know its time for a stolen kiss pirate style, so just do it.

2 options she slaps u or she loves u.

besides u sould feel great after it coud even burst ur confidence.

Im just giving u some stupid ideas, but who knows.

just be ur self.

[DarknessRules]

part of me wants to do that. has been wanting to do that for a long time. but another part of me dosnt. im conflicted. i love her. but at the same time i love her in a different way. i want to be with her but at the same time she is like the little sister i never had. and she has shown and stated that im like a brother to her. she has no feelings for me in that way. so while part of me wishes to hold on to the hope that it will work out the other part of me has given up and accepted that it can never be and all that that i stated above... well theres a bit more of the story. telling it is makeing me think it through and in doing so its making me rethink the situation. it will probly make me feel better. or worse. ether way is fine by me.

ps. its kinda funny you put it that way. pirate style. just because of the way she is.

[eppursimuove]

if shes not ur daddys or ur mommys daughter, she ain ur litte sister.

Shes a women u like, besides what would change if u tell her and she says no, u can still be friends at first maybe ocuord but as times passes u will be in the same spot that u are now a good friend.

Im not pusshing u to do nothing, just be ur self and think, the pro cons everything then make a decition u feel confortable with.

I wish u good luck.

PS: I hope u just kiss her foreever, put ur arms arround her and never let go.

Either the choice u make, i whant to know the ending of this, i whant an update if u dont mind.

[DarknessRules]

i dont mind. the best way to help is to give the full info. both before and after. so ill keep everyone informed.

[eppursimuove]

i dont mind. the best way to help is to give the full info. both before and after. so ill keep everyone informed.

I hope u get thr happy endin, and if not u still got ur forum buddys lol

[Lana73]

Hi DR

First of all, I am glad that your friend changed you and you are now able to trust people.(maybe not all). There are a lot of decent people out there.

i love her. but at the same time i love her in a different way. i want to be with her but at the same time she is like the little sister i never had. and she has shown and stated that im like a brother to her. she has no feelings for me in that way.

I think talking to her would be a good idea. Sometimes feelings of friendship grow into something bigger. An open conversation is the best key to approach this.

Visiting her is a good idea as well.

Also, women need to know how you guys feel about us. We also like to hear that.

So, you never know..

[DarknessRules]

i also like hearin how people who care about me feel about me. much better then the other things i hear on a daily bases. i wish she would talk more about how she feels about me like she use to.

[Lana73]

Then why don't you start first? Tell her about your feelings, don't hold anything back.

[eppursimuove]

just wisper talk real low, and when she gets close to u to listen better just a quick kiss an grab her by the neck so she dosent escape, eventually she will get tired of u holdiing her and will surrender to ur will.

[DarknessRules]

that is good advice. it will probly take a few days to talk about everything. (the important stuff. ill look at everything and leave out the pointless stuff.) and though it will be the hardest thing ive ever done it something i need to do.

i love your suggestions dude. they always bring a smile to me. but that wouldnt work for her though. if i talk real quiet then she will just tell me to speak up. and if i dont she will get frustrated and not listen till i do. and with her past holding on to her would probly cause her to fight me to escape. not like pulling away but actualy fight me. i might go into details later on to get ideas of how to help her through it.

[eppursimuove]

my other suggestions i really mean some of them for true.

I thinkg the best thing u can do is just be u, she already knows u so have some confidence in ur self.

My last suggestion was a joke, obcourse u cant grab her by her neck and wait to she gets tired, sadly we are not cave man anymore and we can hit woman with a club in their head and take them to a cave.

Hope it goes well for u, u will find the way u seem like a nice fella.

[DarknessRules]

that is good advice. sometimes i dont know who i am. ive told her this before and she wants to try to help me to be me. she wants to help me with how shy i am. she wants to help me bring back the great things about me that she really misses. that would come from getting rid of my shyness.she wants to help me. she just dosnt know how. i have a few ideas about how she could help me but have been too shy to talk about those ways. so thats one of the topics ill force myself to have with her. itll be hard. like torcher to me. but it needs to be done.

[DarknessRules]

i also know that i need to be... i want to say gental. she recently had very bad experiences. the house she was liveing in was a great place. till her step dad started to have his drugy friends over. she slept in the liveing room. some of his friends took advantig of the fact that she was sleeping. he didnt care as long as he got his drugs. acted like he didnt believe her even though that wasnt the case. then her family abandened her. left her in that house with people goin over demanding money for past drug deals. they got violent with her because of it. so she left. now she is with her sister. she wants to leave but atleast i know that person is a good person. i know she is safe there. but i also know that as soon as she gets her phone again she is leaveing again. i really hope she comes here... but she probly wont for a long time.

[Lana73]

My last suggestion was a joke, obcourse u cant grab her by her neck and wait to she gets tired, sadly we are not cave man anymore and we can hit woman with a club in their head and take them to a cave.

Thank you, Eppursimuove

DR, I think he makes sense this time. Just be yourself. The rest will fall into places, it always does.

[DarknessRules]

well. as stated thats kinda hard for me to do. but ill try. when i get through it and i feel more comfy around her (more happy then anything else) then it should get easyer.

[eppursimuove]

I missed a "T" I meant cant hit woman, not that we can hit woman and take them to a cave. Oh im so stupid im laughing i just read the all sentence and i just saw that i missed a "T".

Hope u ppl dindt get it wrong.

Its ok to be shy and all and being happy around her, but dont get to exited if u know what i mean