DarknessRules Posted December 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2011 she dosnt have a therapist at this time. she dosnt have access to a computer for any other means of perfesional help. so im wondering if theres anything i can do in this situation to help her. even if its just a little. ive never expirienced this kinda situation before therefor i know nothing about what to do in this situation. so i ask. how can i help her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 3, 2011 Report Share Posted December 3, 2011 how do u know she nees a therapist? has she told u? or just ur own conclusions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2011 do to what shes been through and the fact that she wanted to get set up here with everything she had in cali. so i guess both. i already posted the problem. its up there on this page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 4, 2011 Report Share Posted December 4, 2011 well i think u sould talk to her first, see how she feels about it. then act acording to what u think is best.i dont have a good advice about it, but i do belive u need to talk to her about it first and see how things go.i hope everythings works just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 i had a major breakdown today in this... my world just feels like it is falling apart... she is all i can think about... a life without her just dosnt feel worth liveing... i feel so empty... like something is missing... how many years do i have to go through this... its never ending pain... ive tried to fill the void... so many years... its thanks to her many times that im alive... and right now... its because of being away from her that i want to die... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 Hi Darkness,Sorry things are so painful for you today Would it help to talk some more about how you feel?Were listening and we care Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 i had a major breakdown today in this... my world just feels like it is falling apart...I am so sorry that you are hurting so badly. You have been so supportive to other members and it hurts me to see you in so much pain. she is all i can think about... a life without her just dosnt feel worth liveing... i feel so empty... like something is missing... I am very familiar with this feeling. When you love someone, that person occupies your mind 24/7. I was living in my fantasy world for a while and it was very hard for me to let it go because my reality was so different. how many years do i have to go through this... its never ending pain... ive tried to fill the void... so many years... its thanks to her many times that im alive... and right now... its because of being away from her that i want to die...What is it about her that you like the most? What is missing? I remember that few weeks ago E and myself told you that it might help if you let her know how you feel about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sensitive_woman Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 I agree with Lana and eppursimuove. Be honest and open up your true feelings with her, Let her know how you feel. Be willing to hear what she has to say. In any case, You will feel much much better. The shy guy who cant speak up to his love and the smart brash girl on the move and all that cute advice.... I think eppursimuove can write a romantic best seller :-)Goodluck DarknessRules. I'm with you and agree with the thoughts of Lana & Eppursimuove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 9, 2011 Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 I was reading some of the last coments in here and I dont how u readed my mind but i was thinking this story sould be written it would be great for a romantic novel. So DR go for it, i like happy endings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2011 i feel that she is a very important part of my life. i keep getting like visions of bad things happening to her... like watching a movie. lots of details about whats happening to her but i cant describe it here... i do wish i could call her but she is at her sisters house. not the one i talk to. but the one she is stayin with at the moment wont let her use her phone. and my friends phone is shut off at the moment. and she is staying over 400 miles away from me. so i have to wait till next month to talk to her. if she pays her phone bill. and if im lucky she will travel back up here before she continues to travel the country... i wish i could go with her to protect her...i love her personality. her reactions to things. her sense of hummer. twisted just like mine. inappropriate sense of hummer. her looks and style. how she loves how random i am. shes the strongest person i know. mentally not physically. her size. basically everything about her.its like she became such a big part of my life though she wasnt really there we kept in contact. more and more recently. we use to text everyday. now it feels like i havnt talked to her in months... like i dont remember the last time i saw her or talked to her... like she took a part of me with her... like something is missing... like i need her...i feel powerless... theres nothing i can do... but sit and regret... like that quote i saw a while ago... "8 letters. 3 little words. one big regret... i miss her..."i guess it would be kinda like a love story... one of the ones where the main character finds his love. spends years too shy to say anything. then he builds up the courage to finally ask her out. and she breaks his heart... she trys to let him down gently... says they can always be friends. but she just dosnt see him in that way... she reminds him that hes like the brother shes always wanted... and shes happy to be there for him when ever he needed. that she loves him. but not in that way... she suggests they take a break so she can process the request... he knows she feels awkward around him now... that is a very bad 2 weeks for him... she comes back acting like it never happend but he still feels bad... and after that fades and they are both happy again they live happily ever after. till she leaves again...kinda a happy ending... but ya. thats what i see happening... im trying to prepare myself for that... and for if she dosnt react so well... she will come back regardless but its the difference between a cupple weeks and a cupple months...im not meaning to demean anyone... or belittle or put down or anything... thats just how i see it... i hope no one takes offense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 Hi DR,Just was wondering how you were doing and if you have any changes regarding your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 I was wondering the same thing, i need an update im beging for a happy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 well... ive been getting worse... i cant contact her... i cant go see her... ive been talkin to her sister as she is... was... the only way i could keep in contact... well know where my friend is and how shes doin anyway... her sister let her borrow a phone that she ended up loseing... she dosnt contact me or her sister at this time... her sister is pissed at her for loseing the phone and leaveing her cat there with her sister... she is currently staying with another sister of hers... i dont know that one well enough to contact and i dont want to get told again to never call there again... i got told that alot when my friend was in foster care... i hate this so much... she is all i can think about... and in my dreams im ether looking for her or watching as very bad things happen to her in her travels... i dont ever want to feel this way again... i dont ever want to love again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 12, 2011 Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 So the worst thing that can happend if u call her is that her sister tells u to not call ever again.Then call her, u dont read minds do u? Coz u dont know if shes going to pass the phone or tell u never to call. So call her nothing bad is going to happend you alredy know the posible answers.Obcourse do what u think is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2011 i dont have a number to call. she gos out to wonder around and when she gos back to her sisters house she sleeps. so callin would just pis her off...she has addiction problems. down there she has lots of access to the drugs she dose... up here she was starting top get clean...we were helping her to get clean... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 well... im sorry... ill talk to her about everything i have to talk to her about... ill work towards that happy ending you all wish for me. if it happens then thats great. if not then oh well... ill live... but the stress of getting to that point is overwhelming... so i hope to continue to get kind words and support to get me through this hard time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 DR hi my friend i just wish the best for u, i dont whant u to make feel that u got to do what i say, maybe im getting presure into u if so im sorry.Do it because u whant, because u feel like doing it. Not for us for u, but i do whant to see that things goes well for u.If she dosent whant u in that way u can still be friends like always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 i know that i need to talk to her about my feelings and a number of other things. regardless of how she takes it. im afraid though that when the time comes i wont be strong enough to go through with it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 i cant do anything that dosnt cause me to think about her... goin for walks. watchin tv. listening to music. talkin to people... it all makes me think of her... walkin makes me think of all the times we went for walks and talked and had lots of fun... watchin tv reminds me of the days we use to chill at her place and we watched tv and played video games and we sat and chilled and talked and all that... listening to music well we like the same kinda music so it all reminds me of her... talkin to people just maks me think about how much i wish i could talk to her now... no matter where i go i can see her wonderin around... i hear her call out my name... all i feel is this hole in my chest where my heart should be... it feels like theres only one way to stop this pain... i must end... it wouldnt be hard for everyone to forget about me... then they can go on and be happy and my pain will be gone... i cant say the rest right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 15, 2011 Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Chill out dude, its ok to like someone but dont get obssed. Shes ur friend right? She would probably wont forget u if u do something stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Chill out dude, its ok to like someone but dont get obssed.your right... maybe it would be better if she didnt come back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted December 15, 2011 Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 I didnt say that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 not in so many words no... nor with the intension of sayin that no... but thats been on my mind all day... i felt this way 5 times when ever she gos her own way... each time it gets worse and worse every time... im tired of feeling this way every time she leaves... so thats makeing the pain worse... and im both lookin forward to when she comes back but dreading both the convo i feel i have to have with the and how shy i am around her... so thats makeing it worse... and theres the fact that theres a chance that she will find a place she likes better then here and decides to stay there and then tell me that i can ether go there and leave behind everything or only be able to see her maybe once every few years for a day or to... thats makeing it worse... and the fact that where i live theres nothing but time to think... its a tiny little town... so thats makeing it worse... so yes it looks like obsession... but all i have to do at home or around town is obsess about this problem and these feelings... im not obsessed and the reason for my reaction is that she isnt use to people being nice to her and careing... so she has on occasion accused me and a few others of being obsessed... so that kinda hurt... im sorry about my reaction... im just in a bad place tonight... im overwhelmed... i do apreciate your help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2011 another reason im so hurt about the situation... especially at this time... as of last month she attempted suicide right in front of me a year ago... i blame myself for not stopping her... she was right there... at one point she was basically in my grasp but i let her get away... i wasnt fast enough or strong enough to stop her... i should have tried harder... i should have been faster... i have failed her...i probably wont be able to get online for a cupple days as i will be out of town... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarknessRules Posted December 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 theres a lot of info in there. i will reply in full when i get home but at the moment im on a friends computer and i dont have enough time to make the full reply... ill be home tomorrow night. but one part i would like to reply to now is the part about blaming myself for not stopping her from attempting suicide... before she attempted she said something that has stuck with me... ether try and stop me or get the f**k out of the way... then after i failed she gave me this look that could have meant 1000 things all in one... the event is burned into my mind... no matter how hard i try to forget and move on... i feel that i need to make up for that failure... if she attempts again ill be faster and stronger...i hope she never attempts again but i need to redeem myself... not sure if that makes sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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