I have a small penis

[IrmaJean]

I always want to respect everyone's feelings and listen to them. I want to be supportive. I'm just not sure how to do that. Tell me how I can support you.

I can only speak for myself but my voice, as a woman, may well mean that other women feel the same way as I do. I do not care about size, in one way or the other. It's the heart and mind that count. If I love the heart, I'm going to naturally love the rest. That's a given.

I'm sorry that women have hurt so many of you and/or have used you. Not all women are the same.

If any of you were trying to help a friend who was struggling with this, how would you do that? How can you help yourself in this?

[lifeless existence]

Deleted...

Edited January 5, 2012 by lifeless existence
felt like I was hijacking someone else's thread

[Notdoneyet]

If any of you were trying to help a friend who was struggling with this, how would you do that? How can you help yourself in this?

__________________

I would tell the friend to move on and just start dating short term relationships.

Life is short and there's no reason to beat yourself up for ANY handicap that has no solution in correcting itself.

It has worked for me and I've had more sexual encounters in the last two years than I had during the twenty years I was married.

[flander]

If any of you were trying to help a friend who was struggling with this, how would you do that? How can you help yourself in this?

I suppose just to try to find a hobby to occupy your free time and to try to stop thinking & worrying about something that's not going to happen as best as one can. I can understand why people would want to become hermits.

[2112_2112]

If any of you were trying to help a friend who was struggling with this, how would you do that? How can you help yourself in this?

Honestly? I have no idea. That's part of why our situation is so dire.

What would you say to the guy in the wheelchair who can't go to the bathroom by himself?

I'm not going to accept that that guy should commit suicide, or that he should give up all hope of any happiness. So, how would you deal with the situation you suggested for IrmaJean?

Again, no idea. Reminding my real life interactions with people on a wheelchair, it's usually a mix of both empathy for their situation and happiness that I'm not in such situation.

Certainly I'm not telling them that they're delusional and they are letting themselves down on a problem which is just in their head.

[jk1964]

I always want to respect everyone's feelings and listen to them. I want to be supportive. I'm just not sure how to do that. Tell me how I can support you.

Just understand that for most is not all males with a small penis are damned to be alone and that we are defective

I can only speak for myself but my voice, as a woman, may well mean that other women feel the same way as I do. I do not care about size, in one way or the other. It's the heart and mind that count. If I love the heart, I'm going to naturally love the rest. That's a given.

Based on personal experience the females who don't care about penis size wont date any male

[flander]

Based on personal experience the females who don't care about penis size wont date any male

or have always been quite fortunate to find a guy that is big enough to be enjoyable for them.

[AmericanPsycho]

Just understand that for most is not all males with a small penis are damned to be alone and that we are defective

Based on personal experience the females who don't care about penis size wont date any male

I know what your and other member's real problem is. It's called NEGATIVITY. Women aren't very fond of men with a negative personality all of the time.

You do understand that a lot of women prefer a warm and wet tongue over a penis or fingers.

On a side note, do any of you negative guys know the real place to touch on a woman to get her excited?

Edited January 5, 2012 by AmericanPsycho

[2112_2112]

I know what your and other member's real problem is. It's called NEGATIVITY. Women aren't very fond of men with a negative personality all of the time.

You do understand that a lot of women prefer a warm and wet tongue over a penis or fingers.

On a side note, do any of you negative guys know the real place to touch on a woman to get her excited?

See, that's exactly what I was talking about in my last comments - it's not just the issues that our problem makes us face... it's the complete lack of recognition of the issue itself.

I'm talking about myself only here. Women love my personality it seems, so much that I have absolutely no problem going to a club and bringing home one if I want to.

Are you a woman? If not, what's your experience with women?

You do understand that a lot of women prefer a warm and wet tongue over a penis or fingers.

What if I say that yes, cunnilingus is nice but the feeling of a big penis is something completely different, which can't certainly be replaced by it? Do *you* understand it? I don't know why you feel that you can go around saying that and expect not to be called out about it, like it's a true fact that everybody knows. I can tell you that, in my experience, it's just plainly false. What's *your* experience about it? How many partner did you have? What kind of partners were them?

[AmericanPsycho]

Are you a woman? If not, what's your experience with women?

What's *your* experience about it? How many partner did you have? What kind of partners were them?

Last time I checked which was just a few minutes ago when I drained my Lizard I wasn't a woman. Read plenty of articles about women and also talked about their psychological chemistry with quite a few of them.

I'm still a Virgin so no I haven't had any partners. I won't jump in the sack with a woman just because she spreads her legs for me. I'm not looking for just a sexual relationship.

[2112_2112]

Last time I checked which was just a few minutes ago when I drained my Lizard I wasn't a woman. Read plenty of articles about women and also talked about their psychological chemistry with quite a few of them.

I'm still a Virgin so no I haven't had any partners. I won't jump in the sack with a woman just because she spreads her legs for me. I'm not looking for just a sexual relationship.

Good for you. That said: no offense but please refrain to talk about things you have no idea about. I hope for you your penis is big so you'll never have to deal with this - if that's not the case, see you in some years.

[AmericanPsycho]

Good for you. That said: no offense but please refrain to talk about things you have no idea about. I hope for you your penis is big so you'll never have to deal with this - if that's not the case, see you in some years.

This is like telling a Psychologist they don't know what they're talking about because they're not mentally ill. It's decent sized and that's it.

Now I'm going to be unfriendly. Quit fucking looking for girls and look for a woman. There's so much more to relationships then sex. If you're just looking for sex, money can buy it. Just don't EVER think you'll be truly happy because you won't.

[2112_2112]

This is like telling a Psychologist they don't know what they're talking about because they're not mentally ill. It's decent sized and that's it.

Now I'm going to be unfriendly. Quit fucking looking for girls and look for a woman. There's so much more to relationships then sex. If you're just looking for sex, money can buy it. Just don't EVER think you'll be truly happy because you won't.

Honestly no, it's not like that. It's like telling to someone who has no idea what he's talking about to keep his mouth shut. Again, no offense.

I don't think that it's very respectful of you to define a woman by her sexual tastes but, even if that was the case, i can tell you that in my experience the more mature a woman is the more inportance she puts on penis size - i guess because she's both had the chance of trying a big one and because age has made her not as tight as she was when she was 18.

Sex is not 100% of a relationship, but it's a big part of it. A relationship minus sex is a friendship. If you can't satisfy your woman your relationship isn't going to be a relationship for very long.

Edited January 5, 2012 by 2112_2112

[IrmaJean]

One of the great things about community is the way all members can work together to take care of and protect it. It's nice to be able to come here and freely express our feelings in a safe and supportive environment. As a member it is my hope we can all do our part in keeping the spirit of the community.

I have the sense that many of you have given up. I hope all of you can understand that, while I respect and value everyone's feelings, I won't give up in trying to help.

I hope we can all support one another respectfully.

[malign]

Guys, this really isn't like a debate, where anyone will end up convinced. In particular, doubts about whether the other guy "really knows" only serve to insult an opinion you don't agree with (and it has happened in both directions.)

We're here to support each other. We're unlikely to convince anyone of anything, and when the attempt to do so becomes insulting, we have to stop.

I was pleased that I got at least some response to my request for what you would say to a guy in your own situation, because in the end, that may be the best direction for you to get support. If anything anyone else tries to suggest is just going to be shot down, well, then we're bound to fail to help. I think it's more productive to discuss what might help than what hasn't.

[2112_2112]

Guys, this really isn't like a debate, where anyone will end up convinced. In particular, doubts about whether the other guy "really knows" only serve to insult an opinion you don't agree with (and it has happened in both directions.)

We're here to support each other. We're unlikely to convince anyone of anything, and when the attempt to do so becomes insulting, we have to stop.

I was pleased that I got at least some response to my request for what you would say to a guy in your own situation, because in the end, that may be the best direction for you to get support. If anything anyone else tries to suggest is just going to be shot down, well, then we're bound to fail to help. I think it's more productive to discuss what might help than what hasn't.

If I ever insulted an opinion here (which, in all honesty, i don think to be even technicall possible - how does one insult an opinion?) i offer my most sincere apology - i certainly didn't mean to insult anything or anyone.

That said, I will state my point of view, in the case I didn't state it already clearly enough: having a small penis is a serious, life-altering disability. Stating that it's not, for whatever reason, is both disrespectful towards who, such as myself, have to live with it and useless, if not counterproductive, in helping who has this disability to improve his situation.

With that in mind, i both (you and irmajean) ask you this question: how would anything short of giving up hope to have a real relationship could ever help? You ask me about it, but I don't have an answer. Do you?

[malign]

Well, to my mind, we're back to the guy in the wheelchair.

He's got a real, life-altering disability. Maybe he has to "give up hope to have a real relationship", in your view.

I just don't share that view. Now, maybe that's just because I'm not in his (or your) situation, or maybe it means that I'm not taking it seriously enough. I can't prove that I'm right.

But, since we're basing our arguments on hypotheticals and anecdotes, let's talk about Christopher Reeve. He's your guy in the wheelchair; he had no function at all in the nether regions after his injury. He'd been married only a few years. His wife stayed with him until the end, with no evidence of any infidelity or dissatisfaction on her part.

Now, you can say he's just one guy, but most of you are basing your arguments on just one guy: yourselves. I'm not trying to minimize the pain that your situation has caused you; not in any way. And it would be easy to understand that that pain would result in reluctance to keep trying. All I'm saying is that you do have two choices, give up or keep trying. Just like Christopher Reeve had.

Edited January 5, 2012 by malign
Misspelled his name

[lifeless existence]

Well, to my mind, we're back to the guy in the wheelchair.

He's got a real, life-altering disability.

And we don't? You don't think this is real? After reading so many of the posts in this forum, you can't see just how life-altering this is? This is exactly what 2112_2112 is getting at. People think this is all in our heads. You know what, FUCK everybody stuck in a wheelchair. People actually pity them. Women will stay with them because they feel sorry for them while we get kicked to the curb and are laughed at all the way to the ground. And let's not even get into the fact that it's beyond taboo to make fun of someone in a chair. But it's perfectly acceptable on this planet to make fun of us all day long. People in wheelchairs don't know how good they have it compared to us.

[malign]

No, LE, I wasn't denying your view at all. I was just confirming that a guy in a wheelchair qualified as a comparable subject for discussion.

Maybe even that isn't true, as you say. It was just the example that we'd been discussing; that's all.

[gone]

You guys aren't getting the point of my post. Of course everyone has PREFERENCES. But, when a person uses one single body part to negate everything else about that person or to demean that person, that is superficial. For example, I posted I always had a preference for blonde hair blue eyes. I am still a sucker if a pretty blonde asks me to do something. But, my wife--the PERSON (not the walking vagina or head of hair) has black hair and eyes. And I LOVE them, because I love THE PERSON and those are a part of her. Do I prefer a smooth flat belly? Sure, who doesn't? But am I going to leave her because now she has a wrinkly soft belly from three pregnancies? HELL NO! I love that wrinkly belly because its HERS and it reminds me of the love we share that led to those 3 kids she carried for us (yes, they are mine ;-)) Now, some negative person is going to say I wouldn't have married her if the wrinkles were there from the start, that's just bogus--I go for personality and soul, not for body parts. I just happened to get lucky on getting a pretty girl, even if she didn't fit my "preferences".

Woah, just the exact opposite for me! I've always been easily disracted by raven hair and big dark eyes.

John

[AmericanPsycho]

Honestly no, it's not like that. It's like telling to someone who has no idea what he's talking about to keep his mouth shut. Again, no offense.

I don't think that it's very respectful of you to define a woman by her sexual tastes but, even if that was the case, i can tell you that in my experience the more mature a woman is the more inportance she puts on penis size - i guess because she's both had the chance of trying a big one and because age has made her not as tight as she was when she was 18.

Sex is not 100% of a relationship, but it's a big part of it. A relationship minus sex is a friendship. If you can't satisfy your woman your relationship isn't going to be a relationship for very long.

Can't say that I will shut up. After their Mid-Life Crisis, women tend to lose interest in sex. I have to disagree about older women or women in general prefer men with Elephant Dongs, because they don't. Sex is a healthy part of a romantic relationship but it's not a big part. Relationship is a generic term. Maybe it would do you some good to attend a Heathly Relationships Group.

Time for a little tough love so to speak. I mean zero disrespect by this but it just seems like you want people to feel sorry for you. We've tried as much as possible to ease your mind and give you positive support.

You need to learn how to work SMARTER not harder. You have a sort of handicap. Learn to work with it, not against it.

[lifeless existence]

Maybe even that isn't true, as you say.

It isn't. People in wheelchairs aren't expected to be physically normal. We are.

[malign]

So what you're saying if I understand correctly, LE, is that it's not really "what's wrong with you" that matters, it's people's reaction to the surprise of it?

Because I basically agree with you: the problem is how people have treated you, and how you've reacted to that treatment.

[lifeless existence]

So what you're saying if I understand correctly, LE, is that it's not really "what's wrong with you" that matters, it's people's reaction to the surprise of it?

No, that's not what I was saying at all. I'm not even sure how you came to that conclusion from reading my post.

[lifeless existence]

AmericanPsycho, I think I can speak for most of the members here when I say that we don't want people to feel sorry for us. All we want is to be good enough for somebody just the way we are. We don't want anyone to have to "settle" for us and we don't want them to feel like they're giving up something or missing something because of our anatomy. We just want to have normal relationships with normal sex lives like most people do. I know you believe we can have that but many years of real life experience has shown us otherwise. It's not like we haven't tried. Trust me, you'd be amazed at the types of women who will reject a man over penis size. I'm not talking about barroom skanks here. I'm talking about women who you'd never dream would do such a thing. And there's usually no way to tell ahead of time whether a woman is like that or not, so dating is basically a crap shoot for us. It's something you just can't understand unless you've lived it.