ThePetPerson Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I woke up today feeling extremely sad for no reason, I felt like my whole body was weighed down with it, I couldn't move, couldn't think straight, I didn't even try to stop myself, I just went ahead and cut myself, 6 deepish cuts on my leg. I felt better but still awful, but my head cleared up and my mind wasn't filled with sad, angry or negative thoughts, it wasn't filled with anything. That's why still seeing the world as a cold and dark place was worse, nothing was clouding my vision, I could see crystal clear the darkness that surrounds us. I wanted it to go away. I cut again. Two gashes in my left arm. I just lay in bed for a while longer, feeling awful, my family downstairs, not knowing what I had done. I then took out the blade again and carved the words "fuck up" into my leg. I feel much calmer now, but I still want to tear myself up so badly, but I'm afraid of how far I'll go.. I dont know what to do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Yes, Pet, at times the world seems like a cold dark place.It's not a better place with a hurt you in it, though.{Or, without you in it, just to make that clear. I know suicide and SI are different impulses, but sometimes they cross over.}Can you get rid of the blade, at least, and seek some help? If your family won't help, don't go to them. As I understand it, you're in exactly the kind of situation the National Health was created for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Oh no, PP, please keep yourself safe. Life is very precious and you are so young.Would it help to talk about it? What triggered your decision to cut yourself?There are so many people who care about you, including many people on this site. We are here to support you and we care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andromeda Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I'm sorry you are going through this,but please keep youself safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePetPerson Posted February 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I got rid of the blade. I didn't cut again, I decided to go downstairs where I'd be with other people, I may have wanted to be alone, but I was safer when I wasn't... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePetPerson Posted February 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I got rid of the blade. I didn't cut again, I decided to go downstairs where I'd be with other people, I may have wanted to be alone, but I was safer when I wasn't... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted February 19, 2012 Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 How are you feedling now ? Are youtaking care of those cuts? Their is one thing about self injury that i know too well, is that once you find out that SI actually helps you feel better even if it is only temporary a person tends to want to do it again in order to cope, feel better, or just feel something. Self inkkusry can be dangerous and even if unintended can cause severe harm to oneself, that I know personally , so please be careful and nice to yourself. I am glad you got rid of the blade and wend where their were others around, nobody i even have known who Si's has ever done it around others, so being alone is a trigger to a lot of people . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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