Girlfriend-here Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 often finding that 'rare' girl can make it worsehes thinking he must be the smallest you ever hadhe thinks you joke behind his backhe thinks you are cheating on himhe thinks you must be about to leave himhe thinks you must have a hidden agenda...That's all illusion, made up from the fears of the past, which means history will repeat. Whereas if he didn't waste time worrying about 'what ifs' we could enjoy each other,,, I guess this is the hardest part of the whole challenge, letting go of the past to move forward. This whole issue breaks my heart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 often finding that 'rare' girl can make it worseIf this is the case then what's the point of woman even trying..., spend the life looking for a woman that doesn't care, Get one, only too undermine everything she says And does hmm loose loose situation unless the men come to terms with it All i guess .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recluse Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with what firefighter posted. If it works for him then more power to him. People get their rocks off in whatever way they need to.Girlfriendhere, This dude you are interested in seems like a shitbag to me. If a female was interested in me and called me and wanted to hang out despite being small, it would be common sense that it isn't an issue for her. This dude seems like he has other issues that might not be worth the time or the effort to deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 That's all illusion, made up from the fears of the past, which means history will repeat. Whereas if he didn't waste time worrying about 'what ifs' we could enjoy each other,,, I guess this is the hardest part of the whole challenge, letting go of the past to move forward. This whole issue breaks my heart!Well for me its happened 5 times in a row- so it would be hard not to worry- its human nature.if you were bitten by 5 dogs in a row would you stroke a 6th?You don't know what your boyfriend went through before- maybe a girl promised she didnt mind and then he discovered her cheating with a bigger guy?Or maybe an ex girlfriend mocked him.He's unlikely ever to tell you- its a pride thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 If this is the case then what's the point of woman even trying..., spend the life looking for a woman that doesn't care, Get one, only too undermine everything she says And does hmm loose loose situation unless the men come to terms with it All i guess ..Im not saying its not self destructive- Im just saying its human nature.We small guys are desperately lonely and are frankly amazed and delighted if a girl looks our way.But at the same time its terrifying- there is a higher chance than not you will be immedielty rejected upon the discovery of the shameful problem- imagine how intimidating that is!And even if one is not rejected , its difficult for the old securities not to come to the surface.The guy is having sex, so his inadequacies are more apparent and relevant than when he's celibate.So its elation about being accepted followed by a dread of being left and ridiculed- just like beforeI know its stressful - ask Cece- you either have to be supportive and loving or bail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yes I understand how hard it is I really do, but I need him too meet me half way. Look forward into the future, simple right? Hardest thing he'll ever do..... And thats where it's hard as a couple Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 What happens if the sixth dog didn't bite x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Or if you stopped wearing that meat-flavored cologne? ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 My two cents for what they're worth:Most men with small penises and SPS want love and they want a woman who is truly happy and satisfied with their penises, not someone who simply accepts it. The problem, in my experience, is when they find a woman who does love them and their penis they can't believe it is true. They have their moments where they believe it might be real then something happens and they spiral down into the black hole of doubt, anger, depression, ect... It's like a never ending roller coaster and we are along for the ride. My ex-husband would be an ass when he was in one of his downward cycles. My current boyfriend becomes severely depressed and non responsive. I've come to a conclusion after 14 long years of marriage and my current 2 year relationship.....Some men have simply obsessed so much about the size of their penis that it has rendered them incapable of accepting a woman's unconditional love. Sad thing is... In my experience. It wasn't the penis that made the relationship unbearable. It was how their obsession and insecurities eroded the foundation of the relationship, emotionally. Once a relationship lacks a solid emotional foundation the sex goes to shit regardless of penis size. I think some men basically create a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts so they can continue to live in misery. The misery is at least a constant that can count on versus opening themselves up to something even harder to live with, rejection. Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Cece, Do both ur x husband and current partner has SPS or worry about their size? Or just your current partner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Both... I must be a gluten for emotional punishment. My ex had a below average penis size, my current boyfriend suffers from SPS and body dysmorphic disorder. Which to be honest, whether they truly are below average or simply think they are it's the same uphill battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 The difference is how well they handle it. I've been with other men who were less endowed and they didn't have the hang ups and insecurities my ex and current boyfriend have. Hence the reason why I'm posting in a SPS forum. The overall mentality and insecurities is the true problem from my point of view. Cece.dedesl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I agree because the mentality and insecurities are in the way of the man. Used as a filter and nothing other then there firm beliefs can get thru. They hear negative comments to reinforce these beliefs but dismiss the true positive ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 That's it in a nut shell. It all comes down to their perception and how they choose to move forward. We can't change anything. I'm starting to think perhaps we make it worse. The more we try, the worse it gets. I think they believe we're lying since our reinforcement goes against everything they have ever thought. They become even more removed or deeper entrenched in their thought processes. Shrugs.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notdoneyet Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 The difference is how well they handle it. I've been with other men who were less endowed and they didn't have the hang ups and insecurities my ex and current boyfriend have.Hence the reason why I'm posting in a SPS forum. The overall mentality and insecurities is the true problem from my point of view.If you have dated two different guys who would fit in on this board, you have to be the unluckiest gal around.Most polls put anything much below five inches in length and four and three quarters in girth at less than five percent of the US male population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 You're telling me? I feel like a magnet. Married 14 years...5 years later, the 1st guy I decide to commit with has the same problem, just dressed up differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 That's interesting, doesnt sound like 14 yrs married toYour husband and everything you learnt there, has contributed to ur new fella. This reinforces our inability as woman, to help the men... Sigh., Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I thought this one was different. I had no clue about the issues he had until i got attached. I thought he was shy. He said he been in a serious car accident that damaged his penis so he didn't have a lot of experience. I didn't find out until we were moving in together that the "car accident" was actually a botched penis enlargement surgery he had in his 20's by some chop shop Dr. He doesn't have a small penis IMO but he doesn't believe it. In fact the surgery has left him feeling deformed and even more dissatisfied. He has been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and SPS. The BDD effects more than his penis but that's minor in comparison. I don't think he'll ever be happy. Sighs.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 My penis is boderline micro/deformed (under 3'' is considered micro/deformed, btw) and I only 1/2 inch above. So Im not just below average - i'm way, way below average. So If a girls was with me I woudn't be able to understand why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Well... DV it's not something that needs to be understood just enjoy it when it happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I doubt it will, the chances are low. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfriend-here Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 What are you going to do cece are you planning on sticking around? Or is the relationship coming to an end? Good luck with him. The man im with is very appealing but then once you get to know him he's actually really mean so I'm not sure If this is a coping mechanism as a result of penis worries but It will end very soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm not sure yet Girlfriend. We had started going back to therapy but we got side tracked when my dad got sick. When we are seeing our therapist regularly things really go well between us. I guess I'll give it one more shot with therapy and see how it goes. Shrugs Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Im kinda in DVs boat with my dimensions.It is kinda hard to enjoy sex with that size- keeps falling out, you both dont feel much etc and of course ones whole life the message from society and media is 'small is shameful' so yeah, its hard to feel confidence or trust a girl who appears to like you.However, Im convinced 2 girls did love in the past- so there is that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefighter38834 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 I don't go places I am not wanted or don't feel welcome..if my responses are that inappropriate then obviously I am a problem. Don't want to distract others from seeking dialogue for a problem.Just delete my posts if you wantSorry for problems I may have caused Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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