Small Penis Woes

[teekoh85]

Hi All,

I've been feeling pretty down lately and wanted to get something off my chest. So here is my small penis story.

When I was 17 I had my first encounter with a woman, but when she saw how underendowed I was she laughed at me, and that was the end of that.

It took me three years to get the courage to try again as I am a pretty shy and sensitive person. Unfortunately the same thing happend and I was laughed at. When she saw that I was hurt she did apologize and even offered me oral sex, but at that point I was not in the mood at all.

Around a year and a half after that a woman showed interest in me, and with much trepidation I started dating her. I was quite up front this time and let her know how inexperienced I was and also that I had a small penis. Initially she said it wasn't a problem and we would work something out. Unfortunately she must of underestimated things, as when we decided to have sex she very clinically told me that it just wouldn't work out after she saw what I had to work with.

At this point I planned to just give up on dating and concentrate on other things such as starting my career. But in my last year of college I met a really sweet girl. She was inexperienced like me and we just clicked. So we ended up dating. We both wanted to take things slow, so I had a few months of bliss dating this girl. Things progressed naturally and one night we decided to have sex. After a minute or two my girlfriend stopped me, and I noticed she was crying. I asked her what was wrong (even though it was obvious) but she refused to tell me. She just didn't want to talk, so I left after telling her to contact me when she was ready to do so. Eventually she made another excuse to end things, as I suspect she didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth.

It has been six years since then and I haven't gone on any more dates. I know I am a coward but I just don't think the results will be any different as my penis is 4.5 inches long, and my girth even worse at slightly under 4 inches. So I am pretty much fucked.

[Lukaz]

.

[Resolute]

it really pains me to read this teekoh. i'm so sorry man .

[Victimorthecrime]

Wow that is brutal teeko85. I am sometimes incredulous towards these stories but yours rings authentic.

For what it is worth, my advice would be the next time you even begin dating let them know right up front that you are not looking for any size queen (or however you want to word it). I know some will say "that will make look insecure" and to that I say "yeah duh no kidding" but what is a better alternative? Endless humiliation and heartache?

Good luck man. And yes, focus on that career!

[someone555]

Wow that is brutal teeko85. I am sometimes incredulous towards these stories but yours rings authentic.

For what it is worth, my advice would be the next time you even begin dating let them know right up front that you are not looking for any size queen (or however you want to word it). I know some will say "that will make look insecure" and to that I say "yeah duh no kidding" but what is a better alternative? Endless humiliation and heartache?

Good luck man. And yes, focus on that career!

i agree, be upfront before any attachment starts. also look for an asian girl. since stereotypes are true, and asians are supposed to be tight

[Resolute]

by the way, welcome to the forum .

[Jupiter]

My penis is under 4 inches in length and under 3 inches in girth and yet you have had these experiences? How is that possible when you are actually close to being average? How do you regain your confidence after being humiliated? Why was that girl crying, it's not like your penis was hurting her, that makes no sense to me? I read this shit and just feel like I am so fucked. If it makes you feel any better you have a bigger penis than me and I really admire you for being able to get your confidence back up to try again. I've tried some times too but at this point I don't even think I have it in me.

[Victimorthecrime]

She was crying because she loved him with her heart but not with her body ;-(

[teekoh85]

My penis is under 4 inches in length and under 3 inches in girth and yet you have had these experiences? How is that possible when you are actually close to being average? How do you regain your confidence after being humiliated? Why was that girl crying, it's not like your penis was hurting her, that makes no sense to me? I read this shit and just feel like I am so fucked. If it makes you feel any better you have a bigger penis than me and I really admire you for being able to get your confidence back up to try again. I've tried some times too but at this point I don't even think I have it in me.

I am sorry to hear about your problems. But don't let my story get you down too much. You need to keep in mind that I am a highly introverted person to begin with, so I rarely put myself out there. And that's what people in our situation really need to do. We can't do much about our small penises. But I am sure that it is possible to find one person who will accept us completely, out of a few billion. I have had nothing but bad luck, but that doesn't mean that you will. I have read many success stories from those in our situation.

So I would suggest that you don't focus on one negative aspect of your life and obsess over it. It will only bring misery. At the same time I don't mean to trivialize your situation. I am obviously in the same boat and it really sucks. I ran away from my problems and I thought it would get easier over time. But it hasn't. And that is why I have made this thread. I am trying to come to terms with things and get myself into the right mindset to try dating again. I know how hard it is, but please don't give up. Otherwise there is no chance for happiness.

[AntiHero]

That was one hard and scary read dude... so sorry for you, hope you find someone better soon!

[Jessie]

She was crying because she loved him with her heart but not with her body ;-(

This is what happened to me at least twice- well possibly all 5 times as Im sure my exes found me initially attractive.

I think girls get really hurt when they like a guy and then they see he's small.

Catherine Townsend used the word "crushing disappointment"

It really is such a cruel burden.

[Jessie]

teekoh- I'm afraid your story is soooo similar to my experiences- well ,worse actually, I never had a girl laugh at me or be so clinically honest.

you are longer than me but similar girth- I just hope both of us have a tad more luck over the years…

[Guest RandomDude]

My penis is under 4 inches in length and under 3 inches in girth and yet you have had these experiences? How is that possible when you are actually close to being average? How do you regain your confidence after being humiliated? Why was that girl crying, it's not like your penis was hurting her, that makes no sense to me? I read this shit and just feel like I am so fucked. If it makes you feel any better you have a bigger penis than me and I really admire you for being able to get your confidence back up to try again. I've tried some times too but at this point I don't even think I have it in me.

I think it isn't always clear what we mean with x inches or y inches. I think there is a lot of confusion about measurements, like where you measure, how you measure (to press the ruler or not to press the ruler) and so forth.

There is an interesting documentary film called "My Penis and I" made very bravely by a guy who has a penis not too far above the micropenis threshold. He gets measured by a physician in the film and there was a difference of about an inch for his stretched flaccid size - depending on whether it was taken from the surface, or pressed into the pubic bone.

The normal range (for length at least) which seems to get quoted is 5-7 inches*. It does seem extraordinary that a length of just half an inch lower than this would get such extreme reactions (bursting into tears, telling him to leave right there, etc) from three different women. So maybe the OP-er has been very unlucky?

* I suppose it also isn't clear what measurement system the 5-7 figure is based on.

[Yolo]

Greetings. I have come here after undergoing a transformation in my life.

I was born with a true micropenis. It was roughly 1-1.5 inch erect. Obviously this issue effected me greatly throughout my teens, and led to me making a decision to be celibate. I knew no other way.

At age 22 I decided to go on a travel trip. I visited Europe, Africa and Finally asia. It was here that I found my passion and my calling. I was walking along the streets of Tibet at night, well aware of the crime and fear which would soon pervade the area, and so I stopped off at a local Buddhist monastery and accommodation hall. The monks there told me that I could stay a couple of days as long as I lived by their rules. Irritated by intrigued I decided to take up the offer.

This is the moment my life changed.

Upon taking up the art of Zen Buddhist meditation, my penis worries were banished. I felt pure, unadulterated peace. After three days I asked to stay for another week. One week turned into two weeks, two weeks into four, and our weeks into two years.

Then I ordained in a Buddhist Monastery- Plum village in bordoux, France, and have lived there ever since.

I want to say to all that love, happiness and hope is within us. It are not bound by any particular body part. I highly recommend meditating, it has soothed me and calmed me as a person, and taught me to accept myself.

[IrmaJean]

Welcome to the community, Yolo.

It's wonderful that your life changed in such a positive way and that you feel self acceptance. I wish you continued peace and wellness.

Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts.

Take care.

[Victimorthecrime]

Tell us more about life in the monastery and about your beliefs Yolo. 

[Small]

Interesting stuff Yolo. Would love to hear more.

[Jessie]

Some might say its a bit of a cliche that if a guy has a small penis they have to be a monk or join a religious order.

But you know what, you sound happy and content, far happier than me for sure, so I take my hat off to you…..

[ShameOnThem]

On 4/30/2015 at 1:46 AM, teekoh85 said:

I am sorry to hear about your problems. But don't let my story get you down too much. You need to keep in mind that I am a highly introverted person to begin with, so I rarely put myself out there. And that's what people in our situation really need to do. We can't do much about our small penises. But I am sure that it is possible to find one person who will accept us completely, out of a few billion. I have had nothing but bad luck, but that doesn't mean that you will. I have read many success stories from those in our situation.

So I would suggest that you don't focus on one negative aspect of your life and obsess over it. It will only bring misery. At the same time I don't mean to trivialize your situation. I am obviously in the same boat and it really sucks. I ran away from my problems and I thought it would get easier over time. But it hasn't. And that is why I have made this thread. I am trying to come to terms with things and get myself into the right mindset to try dating again. I know how hard it is, but please don't give up. Otherwise there is no chance for happiness.

Hear, hear, my brother. I too was very sad reading your story, but your positive attitude now has slingshotted me back to being happy for you. It didn't work out with 4 women for you, but there are literally billions more of them out there. It's great that you are going to keep on trying, and should you find success I hope you share it with all of us as it would truly be an inspiration.

My advice to you, from my own experience, is to not focus on your penis initially when it comes time to intimacy, and to go the foreplay route. There's a show out called Master's of None on Netflix about a group of friends, 3 guys and one girl. The girl is a lesbian, and in one episode she seduces a woman who is otherwise straight and the friends end up talking about it. She talks about how it works and her secret that she(and presumably other lesbians) "...can make a woman come more times in 20 minutes than she has in the last 6 months." This woman obviously has no penis, and she's a jedi master at female sexual pleasure because she knows first hand what feels good and how to make it feel better. Just like the common anecdote(at least that I've heard) that women suck at giving hand-jobs, because we're way better at doing it ourselves. Another fact worth considering is that studies have shown that 75% of women do not orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation regardless of penis size or how they feel about a man. This shows that it makes a lot of sense to focus on a woman's clitoris if you want her to be satisfied in bed.

So if the penis is not the most important factor in female orgasms, and the clitoris is, then I think next time you become intimate for the first time you shouldn't even go for "regular sex"(PIV) and should try to make her orgasm using only your hands and your mouth. One of the most important thinks in sex and attractiveness is confidence, so if you're going into the ordeal knowing that you are definitely going to make her experience an orgasm, even if my dick isn't a magical pleasure wand(again, for 75% of women this is a myth), by focusing on foreplay, then you are going to be much more confident and attractive to her. Also, as any of us have masturbated know, orgasms are pretty awesome and definitely activate the brain on a different level.

I'm sure that there are entire books written on the subject of giving a woman oral and digital sex, and all of the best practices, but I won't go too much in detail. I just know from personal experience that this can drive a woman wild and she won't even care about your penis size because she's too busy trying to catch her breath. 

3 rules/tips from one padawan to another
-the clitoris is very sensitive, so you want to be conscious of friction, if she isn't wet, wet your fingers salivate around your tongue. if it's dry it will be less pleasurable, hence why women get wet in the first place. Also cut your finger nails and watch for hangnails.
-The main benefit of fingers over a penis is that they bend, also there are multiple ones, digitally penetrate and directly rub on the clitoris, even Ron Jeremy penis can't do that at the same time. Also, I've heard and experienced that making the "come hither" motion inside of her can be mindblowing. So yeah, google it.
-The main benefit of a tongue is that it has a built in texture and built in lubricating feature. So go to town on downstairs. Remember, her clitoris is the main pleasure center, but it can be augmented with digital stimulation or alternating tonguing and clitoral stimulation.

If you make a woman come more times in 20 minutes than she has in the past 6 months, she's going to be way way way less likely to laugh, cry, or break things off. But you've already made the most important step, which is staying positive and being determined to get back on the proverbial horse.

Lastly, welcome to the community, I hope you can find something here to be positive about, and also contribute something positive.

[51 Years of Misery]

On 28/04/2015 at 9:38 PM, teekoh85 said:

Hi All,

I've been feeling pretty down lately and wanted to get something off my chest. So here is my small penis story.

When I was 17 I had my first encounter with a woman, but when she saw how underendowed I was she laughed at me, and that was the end of that.

It took me three years to get the courage to try again as I am a pretty shy and sensitive person. Unfortunately the same thing happend and I was laughed at. When she saw that I was hurt she did apologize and even offered me oral sex, but at that point I was not in the mood at all.

Around a year and a half after that a woman showed interest in me, and with much trepidation I started dating her. I was quite up front this time and let her know how inexperienced I was and also that I had a small penis. Initially she said it wasn't a problem and we would work something out. Unfortunately she must of underestimated things, as when we decided to have sex she very clinically told me that it just wouldn't work out after she saw what I had to work with.

At this point I planned to just give up on dating and concentrate on other things such as starting my career. But in my last year of college I met a really sweet girl. She was inexperienced like me and we just clicked. So we ended up dating. We both wanted to take things slow, so I had a few months of bliss dating this girl. Things progressed naturally and one night we decided to have sex. After a minute or two my girlfriend stopped me, and I noticed she was crying. I asked her what was wrong (even though it was obvious) but she refused to tell me. She just didn't want to talk, so I left after telling her to contact me when she was ready to do so. Eventually she made another excuse to end things, as I suspect she didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth.

It has been six years since then and I haven't gone on any more dates. I know I am a coward but I just don't think the results will be any different as my penis is 4.5 inches long, and my girth even worse at slightly under 4 inches. So I am pretty much fucked.

I feel for you.

[51 Years of Misery]

On 29/04/2015 at 0:28 PM, VictimofBullyingNo1cared said:

She was crying because she loved him with her heart but not with her body ;-(

She was crying because all her Dreams were shattered.

 

I think they think they hav been tricked, betrayed, lied to, you wer an idiot who was just wasting their time, that you are ridiculous for thinking she would go with you, why do this shit things happen to her etc.

[Resolute]

5 hours ago, ShameOnThem said:

So if the penis is not the most important factor in female orgasms, and the clitoris is, then I think next time you become intimate for the first time you shouldn't even go for "regular sex"(PIV) and should try to make her orgasm using only your hands and your mouth. One of the most important thinks in sex and attractiveness is confidence, so if you're going into the ordeal knowing that you are definitely going to make her experience an orgasm, even if my dick isn't a magical pleasure wand(again, for 75% of women this is a myth), by focusing on foreplay, then you are going to be much more confident and attractive to her. Also, as any of us have masturbated know, orgasms are pretty awesome and definitely activate the brain on a different level.

I'm sure that there are entire books written on the subject of giving a woman oral and digital sex, and all of the best practices, but I won't go too much in detail. I just know from personal experience that this can drive a woman wild and she won't even care about your penis size because she's too busy trying to catch her breath. 

3 rules/tips from one padawan to another
-the clitoris is very sensitive, so you want to be conscious of friction, if she isn't wet, wet your fingers salivate around your tongue. if it's dry it will be less pleasurable, hence why women get wet in the first place. Also cut your finger nails and watch for hangnails.
-The main benefit of fingers over a penis is that they bend, also there are multiple ones, digitally penetrate and directly rub on the clitoris, even Ron Jeremy penis can't do that at the same time. Also, I've heard and experienced that making the "come hither" motion inside of her can be mindblowing. So yeah, google it.
-The main benefit of a tongue is that it has a built in texture and built in lubricating feature. So go to town on downstairs. Remember, her clitoris is the main pleasure center, but it can be augmented with digital stimulation or alternating tonguing and clitoral stimulation.

If you make a woman come more times in 20 minutes than she has in the past 6 months, she's going to be way way way less likely to laugh, cry, or break things off. But you've already made the most important step, which is staying positive and being determined to get back on the proverbial horse.

Lastly, welcome to the community, I hope you can find something here to be positive about, and also contribute something positive.

dear shame, do you intentionally choose to ignore certain aspects of human biology and psychology, or are you just dense (no offense)?

1. a man needs to be able to satisfy (or at least pleasure) a woman with his penis, otherwise he's just a really ugly woman. i would also argue that a woman also needs to be able to pleasure a man with her vagina in order to feel like a real woman. a man or woman who are sterile might not feel complete by adopting children. you can't just tell them it's all in their head or their attitude.

2. you keep implying that orgasm(s)=love. i'm quite certain that animals could be trained to give women orgasms. so, by your reasoning, women should fall head over heals for such creatures.

3. vaginal orgasms are generally considered to be more intense than clitoral ones.

4. some otherwise healthy women are simply incapable (or almost incapable) of having an orgasm. they're just wired that way.

5. you keep ignoring the "fullness" factor. to some women, it might even be more important than orgasms.

there's a reason why some women are straight and some are lesbians. straight women don't just want orgasms, otherwise i'm sure they're aware that other women can usually do a better job in that department than most men.

i could go on, but i hope you get the idea of why a small penis, sps, or bdd in general, are some of the worst afflictions a person can possibly have.

 

[Resolute]

i think i agree.

[teekoh85]

On 3/2/2016 at 9:25 AM, Yolo said:

Greetings. I have come here after undergoing a transformation in my life.

I was born with a true micropenis. It was roughly 1-1.5 inch erect. Obviously this issue effected me greatly throughout my teens, and led to me making a decision to be celibate. I knew no other way.

At age 22 I decided to go on a travel trip. I visited Europe, Africa and Finally asia. It was here that I found my passion and my calling. I was walking along the streets of Tibet at night, well aware of the crime and fear which would soon pervade the area, and so I stopped off at a local Buddhist monastery and accommodation hall. The monks there told me that I could stay a couple of days as long as I lived by their rules. Irritated by intrigued I decided to take up the offer.

This is the moment my life changed.

Upon taking up the art of Zen Buddhist meditation, my penis worries were banished. I felt pure, unadulterated peace. After three days I asked to stay for another week. One week turned into two weeks, two weeks into four, and our weeks into two years.

Then I ordained in a Buddhist Monastery- Plum village in bordoux, France, and have lived there ever since.

I want to say to all that love, happiness and hope is within us. It are not bound by any particular body part. I highly recommend meditating, it has soothed me and calmed me as a person, and taught me to accept myself.

Thanks for sharing your story Yolo. I have been interested in meditation and Buddhism since I was twelve years old. I have read books by Thich Nhat Hanh, so I know a little bit about Plum Village. It is wonderful that you have found your path to peace and happiness.

Hopefully one day I can reach self-acceptance also. Meditation has not been a magic bullet for me, but it as been greatly beneficial.

All the best.