Yeah Ive been keeping up with my group and therapy, and although i took a couple of days off work Im making up the time this weekend - huh, shoulda been my weekend off, something for me to think about when I eventually get in from work at 3am in the morning - that'll teach me for being so self pittying.

im working my butt off tryna stop myself from going back to how i was, its a lot easier said than done though. especially when im feeling this low.

maybe its just habbit that i allow myself to get like this - not sure.

things go well for a couple of weeks or at a push a month or so, then wallop - back to square one.

reckon i just get fed up of tryna fit in with the normality of the outside world, and in the end just cave to the voices, vultures, and my deepest of thoughts. tryint to be NOT me, is hard when the real me is nothing like the NOT me that is accepted in the outside world.

idk, what im trying to say. feels like theres more than just one me. the one that 'is' how she should be, to fit in with the way of the world, and the one that clearly isnt and is just herself. Being just herself is what causes , erm problems.

im not making sense, need to go to work.

things aint too bad. just sad and over thinking 'stuff'

Would some floaties help, lil sis?

I'm so sorry yer feeling adrift

My therapist would want a dialogue between these parts and would want me to cultivate a safe space to negotiate these needs instead of pull from one pole to the other.

I know this is so not easy

Love you, lil sis : )

We accept and love all of you, dear Sue. I'm sorry this is so hard. Here with you.

Cute puppy and kitty say hi.

cute images

////// "slipped" today. dunno wtf i thought i was playing at - yeah wtg sue - NOT :mad:

feel so much better now - hrumph!

i only want to be me - without them frigging being part of me - its impossible - they are as much me as i am them. no such thing as a individual when clearly im not alone in my head. :mad:

still, hey hum - could be worse and shit happens - blah de blah de blah.

always tomorrow

YaY me,................................... NOT not not not not not!

Everybody slips Sue...

Just gotta pick back up where u left off and start anew =j

I'm so sorry you hurt:( Would some of this help, sis?

cake and ice-cream always help - thanks big sis.

picking myself up and stopping being a baby as of now - cheers Jai

Happy days!

Hope you are ok, lil sis

I hope you can be gentle with yourself, Sue. You've been through so very much. ((((hugs))))

ooohhh ha ha no....i hope u didnt think i was calling you a baby!

i originally looked for a pic of someone 'slipping' on a sidewalk or something...but the sleepy/drunken baby, who 'slipped' and was back on the 'bottle' popped up...and it was cuter.

but ultimately i was just playing off the word slipped...not baby =j

Today i wish you 2 (of his 4) non-slip cloven hooves of a goat to help you through the jagged terrain of life!

*Bad analogy #219*

thinking of you!!!!

dunno why that picture won't work???

Story Tahm, lil sis! :-)

Sweety, I hope you'll let your support team (and not just us) know what happened. You're still learning what being home means. And one of the things it certainly means is that the fight isn't over. That's not a reason to give the fight up completely, though.

Storytime SueSue!!!!!!

didnt work for me neither... I'll pick out a new one....

Dear Moderators,

Are you there? It's me, Hammy.

Sue, let us know how you're doing. We miss you.

How are you, lil sis?

Hi, Hammy, we're here; we just don't know how to fix the linky, either. ;-)

Hi Sue. I hope you're doing okay.

And I hope if you're not doing okay, that you're doing well enough to come tell us about it. We do love you and want to know how you are.

Sue, are you okay? You're in my thoughts. I hope you are healing and doing well.

{{{{{Sue}}}}}}

Dear Moderators...

Are you there?

Its me, Hernandez.

My friend Hammy said you spoke to him, so I was wondering...where does the magic wheel portal lead once you reach the optimal 300 rpm? I try everyday, please! What is on the other side?!?!

Hi ... um, Hernie.

I'm not sure what's on the other side. My only advice is not to go towards the light. :-P

However, if you do reach 300 rpm (that's five per second), you'd probably be able to tell me what's on the other side, if in fact you could talk, or get internet service over there.

Please lay off the caffeine.