smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 Does for me ... although invisible people may not actually count, but I'm not sure about that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 Did you ever enjoy being social? I used to, but then over the years I sort of got discouraged about how people can be mean and started generalizing, and then it snowballed and I don't have many friends anymore - stopped trusting I think. I'm trying to work on that though, I still think it's healthier to have people around... I think it may in fact be a necessity as a human being. Maybe that's what that desire you talk about is....like we are programmed that way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 Yep, not easy indeed. Have you tried to find ways of exploring your potential for sociability, if that's a word :confused: Like talked to somebody about it or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) I guess that's what makes you, you, and that's just fine. We each have own way of being and I think we have a right to that. I just went to London UK last week. There are every kind of people there, very individualistic environment. It was sort of refreshing to feel that each person was comfortable being the way they were... where I am fitting in is more of the norm, but not London. Individuality is where it's at in London.... Edited May 15, 2010 by Symora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 15, 2010 Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) It was a bit of whirlwind actually, and since I was so paranoid last week I did not enjoy it as much as I did the times before. I do love the markets there, Camden market especially. I have never been to another place that is so eclectic, ethnic, artistic, funky. I love that type of place, makes me feel free for some reason.Well the cats are asleep and making me sleepy ... bonne nuit petite étoile ... Edited May 15, 2010 by Symora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited May 28, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 21, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited August 25, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xenophon Posted August 21, 2010 Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 yes, the cravings always pass. And eventually, the cravings will lose strength and come less often. Finally, the cravings will stop entirely.There is a natural healing process; you will new different and more life affirming thoughts, feelings and activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 They do always pass. I think you're ready to quit because you know you are getting nothing good out of it, you really know it, and it will make you feel worse. That is how I was able to quit some of my addictions. There just came that time when I understood deeply that if I wanted my life to get better I had to get away from smoking, or a bad relationship, or alcohol. The habit calls to us because it is familiar and our brain is used to working in certain ways, but keep in mind how lousy it made you feel before and it will help stay away from it. And tell yourself you can indeed do it. The brain is weird that way, it will create whatever you believe, so if you <know> that you will not return to it, that is what will happen. So now is the time to decide what you want to fill your mind with. What types of things motivate you, what do you like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited August 25, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Hi smallstar,Please keep yourself in control and DON"T take any pills ... PLEASSSEEEE Triggers are hard no matter what they are for so try and stay away from them until you are stronger. You went through a whole lot and YOU deserve to have a great chance and winning!!! Maybe keeping whoever was toxic to you out of your life? That keeps you feeling like your in control and whoever you add to your support are the people who want the best for you and who will help you stay focused and beat this. Anyone who says you will fail is useless... get rid of them and dont even think about what they say. And if you are struggling and even slip up, you really need the good supportive people in your life to help you back up without any negative feelings. So I guess maybe it would be good to know who will be there for you during the good and bad times and who will be your new supportive "team" Part of that "team right now is your groups thats why they are set up. Please utilize them(the ones who want to recover) and the counselors and ask how to keep motivated and focused on your recovery... I'm a PM away for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited August 25, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited August 26, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Hi smallstar,I agree with Momof7 and I am wondering what has happened recently to cause you to want to use pills again. What is the source of the pain that I am guessing you are in?Are there people you can turn to for help and support?Allan:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Hey star great to hear of your accomplishment, keep up the good and hard work. I cant fully imagine how you feel since I never have had a drug problem. But I do understand that constant inner feeling that comes to me with a vegence with suicide ideations. So although there is a difference, it is the same and its the same tools used for helping someone with suicedal feelings. Are you taking any meds to help diminish the craving?? Sorry if I sound ignorant about this subject but other then being in the hospital with many people with an addiction, that is the only real life experience I have with an addiction. But I guess being on that end is probably better for helping ??? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 Star,None of the medications they gave you were meant to cure you. They are meant to help you by eliminating part of the craving, the physical part. The other part, the mental/emotional part of the craving, is up to you and your therapy and your support system.Your home environment seems to increase rather than decrease your cravings; is that a fair assessment? If it is, you seriously need to think about moving, for your own health. Also, the idea of refusing therapists because you'll only make it if you're in a program that tests you seems a little odd. Is it better to be talking to no one? That's where you are, at the moment.So, even if you feel as if the cravings are just as strong, you might find they get even worse, without the medication. Also, is the one you stopped taking the one that prevents the effects of opiates? If so, I'd really suggest you look again at the meaning of denial that you quoted, "the ability to lie to yourself without knowing it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted August 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) .......... Edited September 14, 2010 by smallstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted August 26, 2010 Report Share Posted August 26, 2010 I'm so sorry things are so tough right now star:(. You are sticking with it though, doing the things to figure this all out for you, and in this moment you are not using. You get to feel good about that:). I know you are worried, but right here right now you are doing what you can and it is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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