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most of today was ok. i met up with one of my best friends in town and we had tea. it was nice coz i don't get to see her that much anymore. she's going to scotland for the summer though :D| she's leaving toooomorrow. but i think i might be going over to visit her when i get my holidays from work. :()

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i-feel-like-crap :D(

really anxious and kinda claustrophobic-ated. i have no space at home like i did in college. i just want to hide but i can't coz there's nowhere to hide :(( ykw is starting to get to me again. nothing i can do about it. just listen.

i feel scared of bad things that could happen but they mightn't really happen so what's the point in being scared? i want to stop feeling it but i can't.

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i'm going to visit my granny today coz she's not well. she's just getting really old and they think she'll die soon. i never really get to visit that much anymore coz i'm usually in college during the week and then in work at the weekends but i have today off. when i was small i hung out with her eeeeeeevery weekend :D) i'm a little scared. i do want to see her but i know it will make me upset to see how old she has got :(( oh well..

i don't ever want to get old.

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i'm just back. that really sucked. everyone's getting old and i don't like it. >:D(

first me and daddy went to visit my granny and grandad. really really really old. then 2 of my aunts came and it was really uncomfortable coz i don't think they like me. then after 2 hours me and daddy went to visit my other aunt and uncle coz my uncle has cancer and isn't very well right now :(( he has had it for over 3 years now. it's really sad coz i used to stay over in their house all the time when i was small :)| now they're both really depressed and all they talk about is death and dead people and stuff like that all the time. :o| but WHATEVER.

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thanks starrrrrrrrrrrry i hope it's better too :D)

ohhh they're sooooooooooooo cute finnnding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ykw woke me up early this morning >:(( to unpack all my stuff that i brought home on friiday :)| i don't like it >:o|

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my feelings are really confused today :o( i'm a little sad and i've been getting mini-panic attacks all day. i went for a walk and that helped for a little while. i think it's coz i feel so claustrophobic-ated here. i have no space. the only time i get to be on my own is when they're all gone to bed like now. at least when i was in college i could go to my room whenever i wanted and noone would disturb me :o| ykw wasn't too bad today. she was worst yesterday. i feel too alone sometimes :o( it's weird coz i say i want to be on my own but then when i am i get lonely :o| i keep forgetting to breath aswel.

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:o|

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