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Interesting Anger


malign

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Well, last night was my therapy session, after a month off (one skipped every-other-week session, for her vacation.) A lot has happened in that month, including a Labor Day trip, my move right after that, getting poison ivy (I still itch; it's like low-grade torture). Because of how well the move went, and how well I was able to do the planning and execution when all the steps were under my control, she suggested that I try to maintain that momentum somehow. We talked about ways, and I suggested that I take up walking every day, for exercise. Couldn't hurt, right? So, I set my alarm for 6, this morning, and planned to get up and walk.

Only, I woke up feeling quite angry at what a failure the move feels like, to me. After all, I went to all that trouble, and I'm still in an empty apartment alone, just a different one. It did nothing to change my job, my commute, or anything. Not that it was really supposed to, but I guess I had got my hopes up that more things would change than was reasonable. So, now, I'm disappointed, without a very good reason to be.

I guess I'll try walking again, tomorrow morning.

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Complete morons don't get accepted into enrichment courses.

The odds that you're disgusting in any way are pretty darn small, sed, seriously.

But it is time for me to go. Try to take it easy on the mean self-talk, okay? Good night. :-)

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Getting up early voluntarily is very difficult. Maybe you could try to walk at night instead. It might make it more likely to happen. Although I have been getting up super early every day and it does get easier.

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I hate poison ivy! All I have to do is look at it and it seems I break out in an itchy rash. Lots of Calomine lotion.

I think that's happened to me as well. I post on your blog and we end up taking about me.

Did you go for a walk this morning, Mark? Sometimes a little fresh air can offer a new perspective. I'm sorry you have been feeling disappointed. :D

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Heh, maybe it just means I'm a good listener, Beth. :-)

No walk this morning, either, but I'm going to keep trying. One question I have to ask myself is, if I want to use this therapist, why do I fight everything she suggests.

I've been able to get up earlier than I do, starry, so I know it's possible. What I've been lacking, lately {well, for quite a few years now} is the inspiration. On the other hand, maybe the inspiration is waiting for me on one of my walks. ;-)

Thank you all for caring.

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Hi Malign, I hate to walk - there seems no purpose to it, only if it gets me to where I am going.

My therapist has been encouraging me to walk in the afternoons instead of napping - not working!. However I have come up with an idea - I have just started a digital photography course so I am going to take my camera with me . So there now is a purpose, I will be looking out for interesting thing to photograph, its no longer a senseless walk.

I know you like photography - would this work for you?

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Hi goosey! Haven't had a chance to talk to you in a while ...

With a camera in hand, I've been known to walk slower than a wading bird fishing ... At the very least, it makes my pace unreliable.

I have done walking for exercise in the past; you're walking quickly but there's still lots to see, if you keep your eyes open. What allowed me to do it for exercise, before, was setting time goals for myself: I would walk a set course away from my house for a timed 15 minutes, and then turn around and walk back, trying to get home before 15 minutes elapsed. That goal kept my second-half pace from dropping, and the fact that I could gradually go farther and farther in the 15 minutes was a measure of progress. Having maybe three different courses made it varied enough that I didn't get completely bored.

To me, senseless is jogging. :-)

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