Lost someone important to me. Not unexpected but still a shock. I didn't drink last night but today hasn't been so well. I haven't told anyone IRL because I didn't want to sound like I was making excuses for all the pressure I am under (basically trying to do a 40hr/wk job in 60% of the time) but I was not feeling well today. I just sort of zoned out, brought a good performance to a job interview but that's all it was: an act. They were impressed. Problem is the job is lower level than the acumen that I demonstrated so then they were wondering if I would be interested in working with people who don't have the depth of understanding I do.

I feel like I'm wound extremely tight. The slightest noise makes me jump. I almost ran a red light because I was zoned out as I was driving. Worst problem is I was already depressed so I have no where lower to go. Strangely I don't feel like doing anything drastic. I just want to sleep.