I guess it's been a while since I did a blog. Things have been going so well that the weeks seem to just fly by. I'm back on a combo of ADHD and anti-depressant meds which is helping me function without the hindrance of my symptoms, which leads to less frustration, which leads to less beating myself up and avoiding the downward spiral into negative emotions. I can think in a structured manner, and plan steps to accomplish tasks that previously overwhelmed me. This is helping out a ton at work and I am completing things in days that used to take weeks. I am using cognitive behavioral tools to manage my anxiety. One thing I've noticed is that CBT works much better for me now that I am addressing the ADHD.

The one thing that is challenging me at this time is that I haven't been able to keep sober; I fell off this month and haven't gotten back on again. This is dangerous because alcohol renders my anti-depressants less effective. I felt so deprived when I wasn't drinking, and I am not looking forward to going back to that. However, I can't keep this up so I am looking for a way to work up the motivation to get sober, for real this time. I have a support group that I know will be there for me, but I am afraid of leaning on them too much and wearing people out. So my solution at this time is to work on what my real motivation is for quitting, and the obstacles that seem to keep pulling me back in to drinking. I think if I knew how to get the benefits that alcohol gives me in a more healthy way, I would have a much easier time as well.

I have been checking back here from time to time, but the boards are pretty slow. I try to find ways to help people but I feel like I have to let others find their own path. I found that meditation, CBT, and finally getting to a working combo of meds has basically made it so my depression is no longer noticeable. I have a tendency towards dogmaticism (is that a word? I just made it up ), so I want to preach the gospel of CBT to everyone. It worked for me and by god if it doesn't work for you, you're not trying hard enough... but who would that really help?

I know if I was treated that way when I was suffering I would not have reacted well to it. So the question is how do you help people who are suffering, having reached the other side of an illness (of which I am aware I could fall back into unexpectedly)? I think I have to learn more about mind and emotion before I can be effective in that arena. I am not blessed with a lot of empathy, so it's not something that comes naturally to me. However I have been helped here and would like to pay it forward if it is possible to help others.

PS - Lala, thanks for the link to the ADHD blog on my previous post. Sometimes I find myself reflected just a little too accurately in the stories of other adults with this issue, and I have to laugh at how similar our experiences are.