Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Blog Ralph

  • entries
  • comments
  • views

two months update



I guess it's been a while since I did a blog. Things have been going so well that the weeks seem to just fly by. I'm back on a combo of ADHD and anti-depressant meds which is helping me function without the hindrance of my symptoms, which leads to less frustration, which leads to less beating myself up and avoiding the downward spiral into negative emotions. I can think in a structured manner, and plan steps to accomplish tasks that previously overwhelmed me. This is helping out a ton at work and I am completing things in days that used to take weeks. I am using cognitive behavioral tools to manage my anxiety. One thing I've noticed is that CBT works much better for me now that I am addressing the ADHD.

The one thing that is challenging me at this time is that I haven't been able to keep sober; I fell off this month and haven't gotten back on again. This is dangerous because alcohol renders my anti-depressants less effective. I felt so deprived when I wasn't drinking, and I am not looking forward to going back to that. However, I can't keep this up so I am looking for a way to work up the motivation to get sober, for real this time. I have a support group that I know will be there for me, but I am afraid of leaning on them too much and wearing people out. So my solution at this time is to work on what my real motivation is for quitting, and the obstacles that seem to keep pulling me back in to drinking. I think if I knew how to get the benefits that alcohol gives me in a more healthy way, I would have a much easier time as well.

I have been checking back here from time to time, but the boards are pretty slow. I try to find ways to help people but I feel like I have to let others find their own path. I found that meditation, CBT, and finally getting to a working combo of meds has basically made it so my depression is no longer noticeable. I have a tendency towards dogmaticism (is that a word? I just made it up B) ), so I want to preach the gospel of CBT to everyone. It worked for me and by god if it doesn't work for you, you're not trying hard enough... but who would that really help?

I know if I was treated that way when I was suffering I would not have reacted well to it. So the question is how do you help people who are suffering, having reached the other side of an illness (of which I am aware I could fall back into unexpectedly)? I think I have to learn more about mind and emotion before I can be effective in that arena. I am not blessed with a lot of empathy, so it's not something that comes naturally to me. However I have been helped here and would like to pay it forward if it is possible to help others.

PS - Lala, thanks for the link to the ADHD blog on my previous post. Sometimes I find myself reflected just a little too accurately in the stories of other adults with this issue, and I have to laugh at how similar our experiences are.


Recommended Comments

I've been wondering how you were! Thanks so much for the update, Ralph, and I'm so glad you've found things that work for you :)

In the months to come, you might feel some empathy for you trickling in. Or you could try to extend some to another on the board and see if you can tolerate that. If this is a strong trigger for something, maybe figuring that out little by little could help unlock some things?

You certainly don't "owe" anything to anyone here. So glad you feel better, and I hope you continue to find the things that help you.

Link to comment

If CBT is working that well for you, can you work on the phrase "I felt so deprived when I wasn't drinking"? Maybe it's not sobriety that's a deprivation; maybe alcohol deprives you of things (like the conscious decision to relax) that sobriety in fact gives you ...

And sometimes I forget and go straight into the issues, when the most important thing is how great it is that you feel better. :-)

"[H]ow do you help people who are suffering ..."? Maybe just reach out a hand and see if someone takes it. Despite what I often do, :-) sometimes it's okay to just make an offer of support and wait to see what happens. So, there's no harm in adding your voice in support of CBT, for instance. You've had experience yourself with other ways for it not to work than just "not trying hard enough", so I don't actually think you'd say that to someone.

I thought "dogmaticism" was a strong belief that man's best friend deserves a comfortable mat to lie on ... :-)

Link to comment

I'm also very pleased to hear your good news!! I believe that now you're also ready to cope with the temptation of alcohol. I suppose it's very hard, but... knowing that you've succeeded several times before and that now you're even feeling much better than in those times, ... ;)

I've got similar doubts about offering help here... Some weeks I felt even fear that I would do harm by trying to help. But I agree with what FMW and M. said...

I thought "dogmaticism" was a strong belief that man's best friend deserves a comfortable mat to lie on ... :-)


(BTW; Ralph, we have a word like that, in English, it would be "dogmatism" ;).)

Link to comment

It's great that you have been feeling better, Ralph. :) I hope you continue to heal.

I've always found your posts to other members to be calm, intelligent, supportive, and insightful. You're a valued member of our community.

Take care, Ralph. :-)

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...