Just wanted to say hi to everyone who reads this. I haven't been around in a while because I've been doing pretty well. After recovering from a deep depression back in November, I am still dealing with some depression, but managing it. I'm also doing modules on ADHD with my therapist that are really difficult for me, but it seems to be helping with a lot of my tendencies toward not getting stuff done and not being organized. I'm also taking steps to make my long distance relationship a short distance one. This is causing stress, but it's also giving me something to look forward to. It's scary and exciting at the same time.

The best thing I've done for myself is to go sober. Alcohol was driving so much of my depression and anxiety that it's like a whole new world has opened up for me when I don't self-medicate. It hasn't resolved all of my issues, but it's the difference between swimming with and without ankle weights. I still have to work to keep my head above water, but at least I don't have something extra trying to drag me down.

Not that I've been perfectly sober, and actually I had one really bad binge recently that I'm trying to use as an extra reminder of why I should leave that stuff alone. I used to not be that bad, but now it's like once I start I won't stop until I run out or get massively sick. So the solution is just not to start in the first place. It would be so nice to be able to unwind & relax with a beer like I did before a problem developed, but now that leads to anxiety and more cravings. Plus it's a bunch of extra calories I don't need.

The other thing I've been working on is setting and accomplishing goals. Getting just one step closer to a goal gives me a good feeling that keeps me motivated. Nothing big like "lose 20 lbs," or "organize the apartment," but small stuff like "eat healthy one day a week," and "check the mail regularly." Hopefully the small stuff will lead to bigger stuff as I get better. That's the intent, at least.