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Everything's horrible today. Yesterday wasn't so bad and everything felt ok and nearly normal. I keep hearing noises and seeing things moving that shouldn't be moving and it's really freaking me out. I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight. I woke up screaming last night because my door opened on it's own - dunno whether it was a dream or not. I think I'm going crazy.. I don't know whether these things are actually happening or not. I hate this feeling. and I know that everyone else in the house will be asleep soon and it'll be just me awake again and then I'll start hearing noises again and get paranoid. And I know it's gonna be like this for ages because this is the way I get whenever anyone dies - I think it's my weird way of grieving - My family are going on a 2 week holiday soon and I'm meant to be staying at home on my own and I know I sound like a wuss but I so don't want to be home alone right now, especially not at night time.:) It's gonna be so scary. I feel really anxious.But it's getting easier to talk about how I feel here.


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Hi Invisible, yes you are doing much better with speaking out about what is bothering you, and that's a good thing! I'm sorry for your fright. Do you have any transitional self objects around--- that's a fancy word for teddy bears and such. Sounds childish, but they can help us at any age, if you are comfortable with that. Being an animist like myself, practically anything can do that for me!

Having the fam gone for 2 weeks is a good thing, right? As long as you have a way to deal with the night frights, and we can work on that, don't you think?

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I have 4 special teddies that I bring to bed every night lol.. It's really freaky because yesterday I was lying on my bed reading and one of my teddies arms moved on its own. Honestly, I'm not even making it up. There was nothing touching off it and I hadn't moved on the bed for over an hour and then all of a sudden it's arm just moved. It wasn't even night time. I think I'm crazy.

I dunno whether it's a good thing or not. I hate being home alone.. I like being in my room alone knowing that there's someone else in the house but when it's just me I panic and get anxious. I think my house is haunted.

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Is it possible that the stitching of your bear is such that the arm was simply returning to its intended position? Noises around the home are commonplace, most of which are likely caused by changes in temperature during the day. My own door opens at times when the temperature of the rest of the home is different from my room due to ventilation (or lack of) or an open window. Of course, these potential explanations aside, there may be a prankster trying to bother you for laughs.

Are you getting enough sleep? I know that when I get stressed and sleep deprived I can become rather anxious and paranoid.

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I'm definitely not getting enough sleep, I'm too wound up to sleep. I should be asleep now but I'm not. I suppose that's not helping either. Oh, I just want the night to be over.. Those are good explanations. Maybe I have an overactive imagination.. I need some sleeping pills or something to knock me out..

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I've recommended this to people, but they probably just think it's weird. You can try it if you want, it can work! In bed or in a comfy chair, cross your ankles, then cross your arms over your chest, put your tongue at the roof of your mouth and breathe gently and deeply. I know someone who puts herself to sleep that way.

It's tough finding what works for you when your anxiety is high. It's important to find that thing, or those things, though, because life is not going to stop challenging us. There are deep breathing exercises and things you do to tense your muscles to the max then relax them. If you really decide you are going to give it your effort and attention, you will shift at least somewhat away from your anxiety.

I'll bet your teddy was just trying to tell you something, not trying to scare you. He probably is all hurt and worried because he scared you!:)

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It's best to catch up with sleep by taking naps rather than sleeping pills. Along with finding's advice, as a suggestion, as you are too wound up to sleep at the moment, just do something for now while paying attention to your body. Once you feel just a little tired, get ready for bed as soon as possible and turn off the lights.

A method people often suggest is not to set a hard time for going to sleep, but make sure you wake up and get out of bed at the same time. So, for example, if you wish to wake up at 8:00AM, set the alarm and make sure you get up out of bed at 8:00AM each morning. But, when it comes time to sleep, follow the suggestion I gave above by paying attention to the signals your body gives during the evening. Once you begin to feel a little tired, consider that the signal to go to bed. The times will vary, but you will find that it is easier to sleep when you pay attention to the signal.

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I lay in bed awake all night...I think I fell asleep about an hour before I had to get up for work:rolleyes: But the good news is that I'm really really really tired now so I'll probably sleep tonight.

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"The good news is that I'm really, really ... snerk ..." :-)

Drive carefully (okay, you probably already have). Sleep well. Refer the monsters under the bed to me, tonight. Mobile teddys, too.

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Yes fairy godfather:D

I should really be in bed but I'm not.. I'm still really freaked out about everything moving.. I'm trying to sort out a flight right now so that I can go on holidays with my family instead of staying home on my own:eek:

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I don't understand:

Moving teddy = scary

Me as a fairy godfather = apparently not

Maybe there's something wrong with you, after all. :-P

Give it another night; see how you do before you give up, huh? Unless it's really bad ...

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Uh no way am I staying in this house on my own. I think I'd rather spend some quality time with my wonderful wonderful family instead:(

Nah, I've always wanted a fairy godfather!!! Hows the drawing lessons?:D

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That's what they call the horns of a dilemma, right there.

This is where friends come in handy ...

You could always come and visit us. :-)

Always wanted a fairy godfather ... Strange child. ;-)

You wanted someone to make you an offer you can't refuse, to redecorate your house? Ahem, never mind.

Um, you caught me: I haven't started my drawing.

'Finding's making me work on it during the Fourth of July holiday.

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The flight is all booked out...OH! Now I have no choice anymore.. I can't just ask 1 friend because the rest will be offended and then I can't ask them all because that will turn into a house party and I can't let that happen because the neighbors are gonna be checking up on the house every day and night and they'll tell my family who will come home and I'll get in trouble.

What happens on the fourth of July holiday? Don't worry, drawing is easy!!!:D

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Obviously, drawing happens on the Fourth of July holiday! :-P

Nah, it just means I have time to sit and draw upside down.

You're almost as good as throwing up obstacles in front of yourself as I am. :-) Can't you ask each friend for a day each, and everyone's happy? Or invite the neighbors to the party, too? There has to be a way.

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I wish I could go to Michigan too. I miss America. Tennessee was so much fun.. I think I'll move to America someday!! It's so much nicer than here:) Have you done any art yet? I've done nothing since the start of summer...bummer!

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I had a whole bunch of company to get ready for and they recently left, and I have some coming for the 4th, but guess what? I cleared out some art space and I know where all my art stuff is now! I started reading that drawing book again and got all inspired. Did you get a chance to watch that video I posted on the drawing lesson blog page? It's all about how different the right side of the brain is. The art book I'm using on malign uses techniques to get you straight to your right hemisphere. It is so interesting!!!

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I tried to watch it but my computer is really slow and won't play it.. What's the book called? I need to be inspired! One of my friends was finding it hard to do any artwork and she felt like she had an artistic block so she went to this healer lady who made her better and ever since she's been producing lots of great art!

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Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain is about techniques to get you straight to that mode of seeing. Like turning the line drawing upside down before you copy it so that you aren't thinking WHAT it is, just seeing shapes and lines. I used to get so wonderfully lost in the shapes of things, especially the negative space around things and the shapes those made-- I could get really trippy:p Once I started playing with that stuff, modern art started to radically open up for me... I could FEEL what it was about!

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That sounds interesting. You'll have Malign turned into an artist in no time:D:D:D I have a question - what happens on the 4th of july?? I know it's like independance day for ye or something..

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:D the 4th is Independence Day (from British rule:eek:) and to celebrate, there are usually tons of fireworks at night. During the day some people get together and have a picnic, or even have a giant picnic with lots of people. I like to think about freedom on that day, and my favorite thing that night is to watch fireflies. I'm a nature gal, not a big stadium crowd gal.
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Halloween??? That's strange. They must be scary fireworks. Ours are patriotic and awe-inspiring (if you go for that kind of thing). The crowd oooooooos and ahhhhhhhhhs a lot. Hurray for freedom! Everyone needs a little of that, even if it is an abstract idea:D

I'm sleepy!! I can't believe you're still up:(

You need your bears to read you a story.

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