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Performance anxiety


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Hi.  I feel a need to share and air my problem in the hope that it will help me to fully enjoy sex with my wife again.  When the time comes to be intimate with my wife, I often I have a problem getting erect.  Then when I get it up, I worry about loosing it, and then it goes all floppy!  I believe the root of my problem is that I have a problem with my size. 

When erect I am 5 inches bone pressed with a circumference of 4.5 inches.  I don't believe this is too bad.  But I have been made to feel inferior and insecure because I have been ridiculed by friends who have seen me naked in the changing room after football.  When flacid I am very small (1-2 inches).  I think this is the root cause of my problem but I don't really understand fully why this is affecting me so badly between the sheets.  I have shared my feelings about my small penis size with my wife who has re-assured me that it isn't tiny and that she isn't bothered by this.  Other women have told me that I am average or just below average.  So I know I'm not THAT small.  But I still often find myself having this problem.  We have enjoyed great sex in the past so I wish I could overcome past this mental block.  I just don't know how.  Can anyone help?

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I don't think this forum has many posters these days.   I used to be a moderator of it over 10 years ago so I got an email regarding your topic, which requires approval.  I have definitely approved it because you have a legitimate emotional difficulty that is worthy of attention.   I hope I am not the only responder to your post but if I am I hope you don't take it personally.  

Nowadays, I participate in many very active support communities on reddit.com .  There are probably several forums for you to seek guidance but one subreddit you can try is at r/smallpenisproblems .

As a woman, I can tell you honestly that most women couldn't care less what size your flaccid penis is and that the teasing you got is very similar to the awful teasing that most people experience in their lives.  All we can do is try to overcome the foolishness.  It seems that common and immature human nature is to attack others to try to elevate one's own ego,

Good luck and best wishes from Omaha, Nebraska, the geographic center of the U.S.

 

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6 hours ago, Catmom said:

 

Good luck and best wishes from Omaha, Nebraska, the geographic center of the U.S.

 

Couple things.... While I enjoyed a Creighton 1910 Geographic center of the United States. Photo: Jimmy Emerson.basketball game and hearty steak dinner in Omaha,  this location is not the geographic center of the US.  This spot resides in Kansas. 

 

#2  If you have had great sex in the past, that tells me you can do it again.  Unless your wife has sought other suitors who have given her a different experience in the interim.  If not, and you have performance anxiety,  I would recommend PDE-5  inhibitors, i.e. viagra, cialis, etc.  You get erect more frequently and for longer and might be worth the money.  Easy way to be 18 again per your penis.  If your back goes out, don't blame me.  IMHO,  it seems that a physical response can override any psychological hindrance you may have given your admission that you have had a positive sexual experience with your wife in the past.

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On 5/24/2020 at 1:59 PM, Catmom said:

As a woman, I can tell you honestly that most women couldn't care less what size your flaccid penis is and that the teasing you got is very similar to the awful teasing that most people experience in their lives.  All we can do is try to overcome the foolishness.  It seems that common and immature human nature is to attack others to try to elevate one's own ego,

Please don't minimize the problems of those of us with a small penis.  While the poster in question is not really small and needs to realize that, many of us really are small.

The social acceptability of "small penis" humor, even in public creates a very serious problem with which victims must deaL.

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8 hours ago, TheDane said:

Viagra?

I obtained a prescription for some viagra recently. I can say it does work, I was pleasantly surprised. Although I have no one to use it with and I still hate my dick, it got me hard. And I’m the most negative, pessimistic realist that has ever lived. So viagra might be an option. 

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6 hours ago, Klingsor said:

I obtained a prescription for some viagra recently. I can say it does work, I was pleasantly surprised. Although I have no one to use it with and I still hate my dick, it got me hard. And I’m the most negative, pessimistic realist that has ever lived. So viagra might be an option. 

My name is TheDane and I approve this message. 

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  • 5 weeks later...

I have a strange relationship with “objectivity”.  The exact measurement of an object is objective.  Calling that same object small or large is a value judgement.  I am about 4.5 inches long erect and have had 6 sexual partners, three of them long term.  I’ve done almost everything in bed with a woman and have had a great time.  I don’t doubt that the women have also.

I am smart, funny, considerate, experimental, and in decent shape.  The women I’ve slept with want a more complete person that just a dick.  Some women might be different.

 

Trust the fun you’ve had in the past. You are entitled to enjoy sex.

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