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TOXIC POSITIVITY


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Yep I get it. I know there are people that say positive thinking changed their life but it never worked for me and usually makes things worse. Objective, critical thinking works better for me. But hey whatever works for you go for it. Life‘s too short to quibble and understanding is the booby prize.

The only thing I can’t take is when someone has no sense of humor about themselves. Those people I will show the door. 

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On 12/7/2020 at 6:20 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

The only thing I can’t take is when someone has no sense of humor about themselves. Those people I will show the door. 

Can you explain this? Do you mean self-deprecating? I have used that type of humor as an ice breaker and I think it’s good for that, but when does having a sense of humor about yourself turn into being the punchline for everyone’s jokes? I thought the entire corpus of modern psychology and self help was about throwing off the shackles of total depravity and embracing oneself, failures and all? But at what point do you tell people to go fuck themselves for making you the target of mockery? To not do so would seem to be a form of submitting to the idea that you are worthless, and I thought that was pure evil.

Ive often had the charge of “being too serious” hurled at me. It seems to be a common rebuttal “you take yourself too seriously” when someone gets worked up over a perceived failure or lack of self-esteem, yet the internet swarms with immensely popular “fail” videos compilations, which would indicate that people do in fact enjoy laughing at fuck ups and life failures. 

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One thing I will say modern psychology has got 1000% correct is that - at least if you are not a religious person - you better learn to love yourself for pure survival’s sake because you sure as fuck cannot trust, engage, or depend on any other human being ever giving a genuine shit about anyone or anything except their own ego, with the extremely rare exception of a very close family member.

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I think this board has undergone some changes.

With regard to everything else my name is imgone because I am completely tired and worn out. If there was any feasible method of euthanasia in US I would take it. Too much of a coward (aka pussy in men’s language) to just shoot myself in the head.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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On 12/8/2020 at 8:47 PM, imgone said:

One thing I will say modern psychology has got 1000% correct is that - at least if you are not a religious person - you better learn to love yourself for pure survival’s sake because you sure as fuck cannot trust, engage, or depend on any other human being ever giving a genuine shit about anyone or anything except their own ego, with the extremely rare exception of a very close family member.

Above borders on a shaming statement. . .

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On 12/12/2020 at 8:26 AM, IrmaJean said:

No, the site is not a headache at all. Computer glitches. I'm glad to hear that some of the issues have been corrected. Maybe Mark (malign) might have some insight about some of the remaining issues. Hopefully everything will be resolved soon.

Take care, all.

I haven't signed in for a long time.  I got a message that mentalsupportcommunity's security something or other certificate is "out of date". . .unsafe!  I proceeded anyway.

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On 12/7/2020 at 7:20 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

Yep I get it. I know there are people that say positive thinking changed their life but it never worked for me and usually makes things worse. Objective, critical thinking works better for me. But hey whatever works for you go for it. Life‘s too short to quibble and understanding is the booby prize.

The only thing I can’t take is when someone has no sense of humor about themselves. Those people I will show the door. 

I've become convinced positive thinking makes a person very fragile.  It is like walking a very very narrow path on a high mountain ridge inches from 1000s of feet of drop into a canyon.  Your acceptable state of mind depends on careful control of your thoughts to "keep them positive," just like on a high ridge you must watch every step.

I recently tried to live with my divorced daughter for my retirement and to help her with the kids.  I learned she was seeing a psychologist who preached "affirmations" which I gather is a form of positive thinking.  On the surface she seemed really happy, but I came to realize she couldn't deal with or even discuss problems she had with the kids and other relatives in the home situation.

"Everything will be alright."  "The kids will move naturally on their own from stage to stage". . . .  that just scratches the surface.  I had no idea what a challenge this would be.  I was taken in by seeing only her positive social veneer before joining her.  And when affirmation failed, blaming of others started. . .

I no longer feel guilty I could never make positive thinking work for me.  In fact, the attempts were quite destructive.

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On 12/7/2020 at 7:20 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

The only thing I can’t take is when someone has no sense of humor about themselves. Those people I will show the door. 

In my experience people into "affirmations" and / or "positive thinking" tend to have no sense of humor about themselves as they are devoted to thinking only positive things about themselves.

Humor is "too real" for them. . . .  So, yes such people will be problematic in your life.

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