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I Wish... I Really Wish...


BabyGirl1992
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Hi BabyGirl1992

No wonder your feeling lost. its a difficult time for you right now.

I lost a baby myself , a very long time ago now (almost 15 yrs) its a gut wrenching experience that i dont think i will ever forget, and it took me ages too accept. But over time it has become easier to deal with, i still from time to time often wonder why, what if and if only. Grieving the loss is something that takes time, there is no time limit, and for everyone the grieving process is different, some days will be easier than others.

You do have a life BabyGirl1992, its just full of heartache and difficulties at the moment, but with each passing day hopefully these problems will become easier to deal with.

Please think about getting some kind of help from your GP or look into getting councelling, i know the idea is scarey to you but it could help.

Keep in touch, and i hope you feel a little less lost soon.

Take care

Jj

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Hey BabyGirl1992

YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT and you have nothing to be sorry about. Your going through a realy difficult time at present, there are people here who care about you and that im sure are willing to offer help in anyway that they can.

Its always scarey when you take that first step to seeking professional help , and i hope one day who can find the inner strength and courage to get the help that you deserve.

Yoiu know im here if you need me too

take care BabyGirl1992

Jj

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You Can Call Me *Heather* If Thats Easier For You..

Well... I Deffinitely Feel Like An Idiot ^_^... I Wish I Was Like Everyone Else.. But I Probably Never Will Be Which Is Ok.. I Guess

.. I Hope One Day I'll Get The Guts To Get Professional Help Too... It Just Scares The Crapola Outta Me....

Take Care & I'm Always A MouseClick Away,

XO BabyGirl

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Hi Heather.

My name iss sue.

Well i still dont believe your an idiot, and probably never will.

We all wish from time to time we could be just like everybody else, that some how other peoples lifes are better than ours, but do you know what, everybody is different, there is no normal, (well if there is i havnt found it yet) Everybody has there problems just to different degrees.

You have some wonderful qualities about you, that you should be proud of. I just hope that one day you realise that, and stop being so hard on yourself.

I hope thaht you feel a little better soon, and i have great belief in you that soon you will get the courage to get the proffesional help you need and so obviously deserve

keep in touch

Take care and stay strong

Sue

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Hi Sue..

Thanks For Being So Nice & Talkin To Me..

It Really Means Alot!!!.. I Hope One Day I Get The Courage

To Get The (Professional) Help I Need Too... But Theres To Many Things In My Way..

Mostly *Fear* (Sighs) .. I'm Such A Freak..

I Really Hope I Don't Scare You Away.. That Seems To Be Something Im GOOD At...

I'm Not Sure That I Have Any *Quality* Thats Good About Me:(

I Don't Think I Derserve Anything.. Not Even A (Family) Which I Wish I Had .. But I Know I Never Will.. Sorry I Sound So Negative..

I Don't mean To Be:(

Take Care Hun,

Stay In Touch..

Xo BabyGirl

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Hi Heather,

You are not a freak, what makes you feel like one ? Because if its the fear of getting professional help that makes you feel this way , then i guess that made me one too.

I was sooooo scared of seeking the help that i needed that i guess i left it too late. It ended up costing me my dream,

Please try, search deep within yourself, try and find the strength to seek help, even if its only from your G.P.

Dont ever think that you will scare me away, or anybody else on this site. We are all here to support eachother through the bad times and to be happy for eachother through the good.

As for qualities about yourself, well you have a very caring nature, to name just one thing. Why dont you try and think about all the good things about yourself, write them down for future reference, coz maybe ,just maybe you will see what a lovely person you are.

As far as im concerned you deserve to be happy, and as healthy as possible. Everybody does. Why should you be any different ?

Keep in touch

Take care, I hope you feel better soon

Sue

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Hi Sue...

I'm Not Only A Freak Because I'm Afraid Of Professionl Help..

I'm Also A Freak Cuz I SI. Have No Friends Or Even A *Family* .. Your Deff Not A Freak At All!!!...

I Don't Even Think I Have A G.p I Haven't Been To A Doc In Years... Only Had 1 ER Visit Due To My Baby & The Surgery I Needed For It:(.. After That I Don't Ever Wanna See Another *Professionl*On Aything For As Long As I Live:( *Sigh* I'm Sorry... I Hope Your Day Is Going Okay

Xo BabyGirl

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Thats Not A Silly Question At All..!!

Unfortunately I Feel Worse And I Caved Into My Urge Of Cutting A Few Minues Ago I Flippen Hate Myself Grrr... I'm So Glad You Can Control Your Urges !!!! My Day Is Pretty Crapola As Usual.. I'm Getting Redy For My 2nd Routine Of Rituals TO Calm My Ocd Or *Try* Anyway.. Nothing I Woring Anymore...

You Reply To Messages Fast I Like That!!!..

Xo,

BabyGirl

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Thanks.. But I'm Not Sure If People Consider Me Their *Friend* Or Not.. I Think People Here Are Tired Of Me.. I Feel Like Everyone Hates My Guts Before They Know Me.. I Feel Like Everything Thats Living/ Breathing Will Reject Me The Second They See Me=/ *Sigh* I hate My Brain....

I Wish I Was More Like You.. Your Very Swet..

Xo BabyGirl

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Hey Heather,

Im so sorry your having such a bad day. I guess thats the only good thing about still being in hospital, it kinda limits exactly what you can and cant do.

Have you tried distracting yourself, when you feel most at risk of harming yourself. Try writing or more of your brill poetry,or even art if your into that, i dont know if it will help you personally but surely its got to be worth a try.

Heather please take care,

Keep in touch ,were here if you need us

Sue

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Hey Sue..

You Have Absolutely Nothing To Be Sorry About.. I Have tried Distractions.. I Sould Be In A Hossy But The Thought Of That Scares The Crapola Outta Me!!

How Long Have You Been There For?? You Don't Have To Answer That If Its Too Personal.. Do You Write Poems Or Anything?

I Have A Obsession With Drawing Trees Wit Eyes..See Now That Also Makes Me Freak *Sigh*

Thanks For Being Here For Me & Talkin To Me

Xo, BabyGirl

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Hey Heather

Ive been in hospital for 2 months now. Well actually i did get released (i mean discharged ) for a few days a little while ago, but i got re admitted under a section.

I just couldnt cope at home without my four children being there, and that sent me doo lally again.

I love art and poetry although im not good at it, it dosnt stop me trying , but i have to be having a good day to even try.

You know drawing trees with eyes in them dosnt make you a freak.

There are plenty of artists that get paid good money for drawing or painting tin cans or something.

At the end of the day , if it keeps you occupied and stops you s/i even for a minute then its worth it.

Look after yourself Heather

Take care, and keep in touch

Sue

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Hey Sue....

Do You SI??

I Was Almost Sent To The **Looney Bin** Glad There Was Nomore Room For In That Place *Phew*.. I'm Sorry About Your Kids...

It Must Be Reallllllllly Hard To Deal With=/

How Old Are You If You Don't Mind Me Asking?? If Your Older Then 17 May I Please Trade Ages With You Pretty Please??

Take care,

Xo BabyGirl

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Hey heather

Well im probably really old compared to you

Im nearly 35 now . scarey huh ?

I dont feel my age though, not sure thats always a good thing.

Yes at times hospital is totally hard to deal with , but you know at times i am really glad im here . Its kinda helping me to keep breathing, that and fight my illness obviously,

Sorry hun i would never trade places age wise. no offence , but kinda glad that part of my life is over.

As for my children , yes i miss them dearly, they are my life. and i willl never stop fighting so that we can be a family again.

Take care Sue

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Actually 35 Isn't Scarey At All... I Feel 45 Most Days So Your YOUNG:).. I Wish Someone WOuld trade Ages With Me Even For A Day.. I'm Ready To Chop My Head Off.. I'm Glad The Hossy Is Helping You!!!!.. I Know You'll Have Your Family Back Together .. Keep That Chin Up!! I Bet You're Happy That You Aren't A Teen Nomore.. I Know I'd be Happy If I Wasn't... I Don't Even Think I'm Gunna Live To Be 20 The Way I'm Headed.. They Have Computers At The Hossy That You Can Use?? I Bet Thats Nice..

Xo, BabyGirl

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Hey Heather

Yes i am very glad that i am no longer a teen. I found that stage of my life very difficult to deal with ( extremely difficult actually ) That was when i first became ill.

Thankyou for your kind words they mean a lot to me.

The hospital is helping me ass much as they can, however somedays i really feel like giving up, coz i dont see the point. Getting well, is very hard work and at times feels like i am fighting a loosing battle ( for me anyway)

I am lucky i bought my laptop in wiith me this time round, it helps stop me from loosing thhe plot completely.

You may not like the age you are at now. but that is only coz you are having such a harsh time abd feeling so low, you wont feel like this forever, and i hope soon you feel better and can start enjoying life again.

Take care hun

Sue

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