IF things work out

[JustTrying]

by the time you all read this I will be dead....... I am done trying to please everyone.... I am going to take some insulin... I am not diabetic so this will send me into a coma and hopefully death....I pray someone takes care of my dogs..... but what about me? I am soooooo tired of taking care of everone else..... when will I be taken care of??? NEVER.... so sorry

[JustTrying]

trouble and the new dog Peanut want me to stick around...... thanks..... I get more care from my dogs than I do you.... but I am crazy.... or so THEY say

[JustTrying]

samantha sue says I am not crazy

[goose]

Hey Jt

Your dogs need you we need you. Im sorry that you are feeling uncared for and low, please stay with us.

Take care

Goose

[SweetSue]

Hi JT,

OK, Well I seriously hope that you are still alive and not given up on you yet. JT, I understand that low point where you hit rock bottom and then fall through the floor further, geez Ive been there myself often enough, as have many others here.

Please keep trying, cling on to the smallest of strands if neccesary, you can get through this hun, we will help as much as possible.

And to echo Goose, your dogs need you, we need you,

Im sorry that you are feeling so lowper and unloved. For what its worth many people here care about you, and really dont want anything to happen to you. Please dont leave.

If your reading this, which by the way I hope with all my heart you are, please put the insulin down, and put it out of harms way and go check yourself into hospital. They will be able to help you there. call 911, 999 or whatever the number is where you live if you cant get to the hospital yourself.

Thinking of you and pray that your struggles ease, now please go get the help you need and deserve.

Take care ~ please

sue

[IrmaJean]

Just trying,

I'm very sorry that you are in so much pain right now. Each and every one of us carries our own light that shines on both ourselves and others. I hope that you decide to keep your light burning. All of us on here care for you and want you to stay with us. Please call 911. We really do not want to lose you. We are here and care very much about you. I hope that you are safe.

Beth

[JustTrying]

I am planning on leaving this forum because I made an ass of myself.... I did not take the insulin... I was too scared to...... I am alive. OK??? No but alive .. I have got to do SOMETIHING... I canot go on this way.... hating myself....Just wanted to let you all know I am still alive..... sorry..... sorry to worry you and sorry I sm alive.

[SweetSue]

Hi JT,

Hun it is not necessary to leave the forum, you havnt made an ass of yourself. Its ok that you told us all how your feeling. We just want to try and help ~ if we can.

It is scarey when you get so low that you contemplate taking your own life. And Im glad you couldnt go through with it. Is there anything at all we can do to help hun.

Is there any chance that you can go see your doc, I know that you dont like them, and that you dont want to go into hospital, but maybe the doc can help you, alter your meds (if your on any) or oh I dont know the doc might be able to see you through this, without hospitalisation.

Would it help you to talk about whats making you feel so low ?

We are pleased that you are still alive, you have nothing to be sorry for. Hold on hun, tomorrow might be a better day.

Take care

sue

[malign]

Gabby, if I had to leave a place every time I made an ass of myself, I'd never get to go out. :-)

Please don't react that way. The entire reason for this place to exist is to hear people when they cry for help. There's no shame in doing that.

And there's no reason you can't change things about your life, and stay. Another reason for this place to exist: you get to hear the stories of countless people who are doing exactly that.

[David O]

Hi Gabby,

I'm witk Malign on this one! I would have been gone by week 1 or 2 of my starting on the forum. I realize you're feeling very low and alone, and I was wondering if you could talk about everything racing thru your head. Just write free associarton style, start typing anything and everything that is going thru your head. Between all of us we can beginning piecing this together.

Please write back,

David

[JustTrying]

Hi All.... 1st I want to say thank you all for your concern. You can't ever know how much that means to someone as isolated as I am.

As the holidays came closer I realized that it has been one year since I decided to leave my husband... but I didn't. I had hope that things would change for the better. Well they have not. I have been married 21 yrs and been miserable for the past 10.

Always holding onto my Marriage because I wan to be married and I don't want to be alone. My husband works out of town and hardly talks to me and I can't even remember when the last time was we had sex. Even when he is home, I am alone.

Now I have the added guilt of doing things I shouldn't be doing.

I have gone from 125 lbs up to 150.... the most I have ever weighed.....The way I dress you can't really tell... BUT NO ONE needs to see me naked. It is a disgusting site.

I told him I want a divorce... but he thinks it is just the booze talking..... it is not. I want to be free to go on with life and make a life. I still love him but I am tires of waiting for things to get better.... I am not getting younger, nor skinnier.

I went on an eating binge in the past few months and now I am trying to cut way down on the eating. I would like to loose 20 lbs.... some could be age and some could be my meds....

For the first time EVER ... I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and actually thought.... Damn I am real Pretty.... I have been told that all my life but never believed it.

I need to get back to my Therapist .... I haven't been able to make it to the clinic lately. And we need to work on me some more. I don't have a license now so I will have to depend on friends.... My husband can't or won't take off work to take me.

It is just a mess... then ad the cold weather and the DAMN HOLIDAYS>>> and Bam.... You get crazy Gab.

JT