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Anger


Sweetmom2
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Today was nice. I was in control. I blew only once,when my daughter almost broke my glasses. Even my husb and i handled our conflict well. Naughty chair and tickling helped to discipline our adhd son. Im highly anxious at the moment, wednesday i turn 30! Im not young any more. Im not afraid of death, i see it as a adventure waiting for me. Just the fact that im getting closer is in my head and that makes me anxious.

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For me, I think of it as being more aware of my age. But being aware of it doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be a very positive thing as well. I appreciate everything that much more now whereas in the past, I didn't take much notice. Things are more meaningful and more valuable now.

Being a mom is a huge challenge, I agree. Try and give yourself a break. Sometimes moms get irritable too. Do you have quiet time to yourself?

As much as you might want to pull your hair out sometimes these are precious moments, Sweetmom2. Soon the day will come when your children refer to you as "dude." :)

Sigh.

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Hi Sweetmom,

Sounds like much of your day is filled with frustration and anger. In working with parents who have children with ADHD, one thing I've noticed is that the children often also have ODD as a result (not just based on neurobiology and temperament) of the parent being so worn down that there develops an inconsistent parenting style. Parents begin to switch from authoritative to authoritarian, until they get fed up and then just wash their hands of it all and now they're laise faire and eventually almost neglectful (not suggesting you're doing this of course). It then becomes too much and they begin to yell and become authoritarian and the cycle begins again.

ADHD is hard to manage at home, but we design specific behavioral management programs for parents that result in nearly an 80-90% reduction in disruptive behavior from their child--- and now everyone sleeps well most of the time.

My suggestion is to read the ADD/ADHD Behavior Change Resource Kit-- it's a thick read, but filled with practical advice and recommendations. Secondly, if there is a place you can go to in town or even getting the DVD's from your library, begin to learn progressive relaxation techniques, Yoga, stress reduction and anything else that will teach you how to be calmer when your triggers are pushed. Finally, taking a college course on cooking, learning to speak French, Italian, Russian, etc., or even an art or pottery class can be extremely therapeutic and healing. It may save your relationship with your spouse and child by turning it around, it it may save your sanity.

Finally, a fairly easy read and practical book that your local library or even Amazon's used book store may carry, is: Anger Management For Dummies,

Good luck and I hope this helps,

David

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  • 1 month later...

I blow up when im tired or worn down, when frustrations are swimming in my head and someone just triggers me to snap. Im trying to get advice for all my frustrations here cuz im to shy and non trusting. Ive read many articles on adhd and im playing squash, exercising, taking long drives, sharing to my son that im tired and angry now. Its working bt the frustrations is always there. 1. My parents. I cant talk to them about this stuff cuz my dad has bipolar or chemical depression and my mom gets paranoid,antisosial anxious and has ptsd. 2. My m.i.l who is critical over me and my son. Shes saying that he is abnormal in pottytraining and his behavior. 3. Financial stress cuz im paying bills and groceries and my husb is paying the house for 5 more years 4.my son has adhd 5. Sex isnt nice anymore and even after lubrication it still sore after and so i must c a docter and its making me anxious 6. I dnt have time to go to a psyc cuz who will look after my kids while i go to a town where there is one and im living in a small community and i dnt want ppl or family to know about my problems.

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Hi there,

Trying to deal with everything that you have to deal with has to be very frustrating . Can you get some time for yourself ? MOmmytime ? Just for you where you can unwind and relax?

My son was ADHD when little , and he was a handful , I understand how difficult this must be for you . ADHD kids do grow out of a lot of the behaviors though, so their is hope. Hang in there sweetmom , you are a very strong , and I think it is ok to get mad when you are angry.

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