Luna- Posted September 8, 2010 Report Share Posted September 8, 2010 I am trying to get ready for this exhibition I am planning to have (on 1 Oct) and everything is all too much today. I've been avoiding things and putting them off and yesterday I decided I had to tackle them - after I went into a flat spin and spent most of the day panicking and thinking to cancel.What is making me feel this way is 1. that I don't know what I am doing and 2. the idea of being in the spotlight (which I hate). I am trying to make hanging mechanisms but the wood splits and I can't get the hooks to stay in. I have no clue how to hang anything and I've never seen it done. I am terrified of putting myself out there to this extent and having people look at me and my work and think who knows what. I have no idea how to price the work. I'm just clueless. I have to do invitations and my printer is not printing properly. I have to do wine and snacks and my catering skills are remarkable by their complete absence.I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to do this. I don't know how I thought I was going to be able to do it. It seemed like a good idea at the time, oh boy, the bipolar refrain. I'm sitting here crying because I feel so discouraged and scared about this. And I feel lonely. And clueless and alone. Everything has just suddenly got to me.I could still cancel, but that will mean that bipolar has won and that I am a victim of it. It has stolen so much, I don't want it to steal this too. I damn well refuse to give in. But I can't see how to do this. I don't want to give in but I am scared of this whole thing and overwhelmed by all that has to be done. Why does it feel like I just working against the odds? What's making it worse is my sleep cycle is SO messed up and my moods are bouncing all over the place. I'm sorry about the pity party. I don't know what I am doing and I feel mega-stressed. How am I going to figure this out and get it off the ground? ... I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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