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I am almost hoping I don't get a job for the next while as too much s going on.

Next week I have a divorce case conference, an arraignment, shrink visits, daily job searches and applications, report in for bail conditions, parole officer visits, meetings with my relationship expert, most likely a meeting with my defense lawyer, human rights lawyer and my divorce lawyer.

Of course this is on top of taking care of my kids, selling mutual funds to pay bills yadda, yadda yadda.

Odd are in the next while this will get worse not better, my trial is about two months off and so I will need to work on my defense with my lawyer especially after the relationship expert finishes his report.

I grow more and more anxious about the trial. I know I didn't do anything wrong as does my partner, my kids, our friends and most of our families, but the law is vague and a lot will depend on the judge. The justice system is scary. They say you don't need to prove yourself innocent, but that is only true in the most vague sense. You only get one kick at it, you are just not going to assume they can't prove you are guilty in the judges eyes, you are going to do all you can. I have spent about $10,000 just on experts that is above and beyond lawyer fees to prove I am innocent and it will end up being more.

Things just build up and up.

I really don't feel so bad. I don't sense it, but I know it drags on me. It is a struggle to do simple things like make meals for my family, but I do it.

I wish my partner was here. I wish I could talk to her. I hope soon it will be that I can.


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Hi Waiting;

I hope you know I Truly hope the best for you.

I know how stressful court can be & having to feel like we constsantly need to defend our life, values & morals.

For me just within the last few weeks my ex-wifes own family has realised I am not such a bad guy & it is her that has many issues. I just got off the phone with her brother & he wished me all the best & let me know I was a good decent husband & loving Father.

I know you are doing your best & as long as you continue to Do The Right Thing & live with a good conscience it will all work out in the end.

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Hi Waiting,

Sounds like you are surrounded by way too many lawyers right now. They can make you crazy. I go insane a week before and a week after meeting with them. Sometimes a simple e-mail will put me over the edge. So, I feel for you and will be thinking about you next week.

Put on some inspiring music, call somebody supportive, watch a great movie, hug your kids, read some self-help books. DO NOT read the newspaper. Keep it positive. That's the only way I know to stop the "worst case scenarios" from swirling around in my head.

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