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I quit !!!!!!!!!


SweetSue
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Sue I have no insights into your legal system. I feel so powerless before this horrible situation. I do know that if your children find out you killed yourself, it will be much more crushing than their knowledge of being taken from you.

This is way too much for one person to bear, Sue :) :) It is way beyond unfair :(

I am only one tiny person in the universe, but I hurt so much for you. :(

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What do you mean you give the hell up? Now you sound like me! You fight for them babies. You have proven that you care or you wouldn't care about them carrying them at all. You were estatic when you found out!

Yes the law is BS but you have to find a way around them you can also play hardball!

We have been conversing for awhile now I want you to pm me as soon as you can. You also stated that your daughter has CF that is pure hell to even think about. You have told me to vent out so you pm me and vent like I did

OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Guest ASchwartz

Dear Sweetsue,

You have me worried. What are you quitting from? What do you mean?

You know, you have come through for me, with tons of understanding and empathy. I want to come through for you. How can I and the community do this?

Allan

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Im quitting from - everything in one way or another.

Im pregnant again - and I have to fight to keep my un-born babies, just coz damn Social Services are too darn ignorant to understand mental illness. And too frigging full of self belief that they are always right to even consider that maybe there is a possibility that they are wrong. So Im quitting working with them, coz they have no logic.

Im quitting, just doing things to keep the peace, whilst my insides are screaming at me to do something else.

Im just trying to hold on long enough to give birth to my little ones, then I will have to watch as I am legally forced to hand them straight over for forced adoption, and once again made to say goodbye to my children.

Lifes final insult, after a lifetime of them. Then I will be able to finally quit this breathing crap, and find peace.

SweetSue,

I am so very , very sorry . Things are so hard on you right now. Not at all educated about the laws in your country .. But do know as a parent myself that what you have gone through is hell. I cannot think of anything more terrible then what u have had to endure these last couple of years or so. It is so unfair . Mental illness effects people differently , but it does not mean we do not love our children and arenot able to care for them.. With support and understanding many people can take of their babies very well.

Has social services told u that this new baby will taken? To me they should not have that power to do so .. Many times , as a single mom , i have sunk to newer lows then ever before.. Yes social services was called because somebody made a outlandish accusation. Well unfortunately i was hospitalized at the same time this all went down, but Social Services found me. I was very afraid. Everythng worked out though. It was frightening though.

I really do not understand as to why this all happened in the first place. But it did , and I feel so horrible for u. It really seems like your coming close to giving up though, and I do not want that for u .

You have every right to be angry! Of course their is anger as to all this mess.

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Sue, you are one of my most valued members of this community. We haven't spoken much, but you are always so welcoming, it's a bit contagious. You are oftentimes the first to post when a new member comes along with his/her crisis. You may not know how to deal with them exactly, but you always make them feel comfortable and get them to open up. Furthermore, I love your comments and the way you so frequently use "smilies." Your posts are very distinctive, and while usually brief, are packed with character. You also supply a very pleasant, very needed peace with your posts.

I admit even after being here for almost half a year, I actually don't know what your issue is :o. I'd like to get to know you better, so I'm going to ask you a few questions. Why are you part of this community? I know that you suffer from depression, but is that all? I know that you have lost your babies before, and I sympathize greatly for you. I don't believe there is anything worse in this world than a loving parent to lose his/her child. I'm so very sorry that this has happened.

I don't know where you live, but in the US and especially the UK, Child Protective Services are made up of a bunch of ignorant, idiotic jerks. I've heard of many people who unfairly had their children taken away :o. It's a terribly corrupt system. Be aware that almost always, children put into foster care are taken in by very loving families. In the very unfortunate event that your baby is taken, maybe you could find just a little joy in the fact that he/she is going to be taken in by very loving parents. I'm so very sorry for your situation, and I really hope that you are able to make it through this. Would you like to talk about anything? I'd be willing to listen :).

Excuse the smilies. I've been using them a bit more lately, trying to imitate your style :).

Edited by Musicman
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Sue,

I agree with Musicman. You are one of the most uplifting and helpful people on here. I don't know how much help I could be to you, but I am a good listener. If you have babies, then I also agree with Leo....fight for them. I will lend whatever support I can because Lord knows you have been more than helpful to me.

SR

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Although I still quit, theres a small part of me - that is still as stubborn as ever, that thinks in the long run things will "be ok", even if that is somewhat dillusional, its still a possibility - I guess.

That whisper you hear, Sue, is your strong and determined spirit. What can you do to give more power and energy to this hope? You've been through hell, but your light still shines. Try taking things one day at a time.

You're not a nuisance.

You're a gift.

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Thankyou for all the kindness everyone, Im kinda embarrassed about it all today, and feel a bit of a drama queen or at the very least self pittying.

Things are just chaotic, and messed up right now - a bit like myself really.

So Im truely sorry for being a nuisance.

Although I still quit, theres a small part of me - that is still as stubborn as ever, that thinks in the long run things will "be ok", even if that is somewhat dillusional, its still a possibility - I guess.

So yeah, sorry and thanks :(

Sue,

I do not see anywhere that points to you as being a nuisance. I am really glad that your thinking that your going to be ok in the long run. i thnk your a stong person and will make it through these hard times. I wish I could wave a magic wand and help you smooth things out, helping you be more content.

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I feel like that too! everyday that I'm alive. I look at all the bad things in my life and all I can see is negative. That's what we do to ourselves. I've learned that others can only pull the trigger, when it comes to my inner me. I'm the bullet that rips at the flesh and pierces my heart. That's what I feel. What I know is that I'm a survivor, my will is strong, even through all I have fought. I know that if you really look you will find it too

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There's a good chance I would have done the same thing, Sue in that type of situation... All of that external stimulation and being in a room with large numbers of people can be tough for us sensitive types. I'm sorry this happened. :)

I think it was very insensitive for them to speak about you with you in the room.

When I first started therapy (one therapist in a secure room), I used to write notes and then ask him to leave the room to read them... because speaking was too unbearable and difficult for me. Eventually I worked up to talking with him in the room, but I still had more success expressing myself with writing.

I'm sorry I'm not much help, Sue. One thing that does help me is to consider that everyone is human and flawed. I hope the next ward round goes more smoothly for you. In the meantime, perhaps writing and journaling can help some. Take care.

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Hi Sue...I'm so sorry you're struggling. I haven't been in your situation, but I have stuggled with pretty significant social anxiety issues most of my life, along with an almost crippling fear of speaking in public, so I know what it's like to just want to be invisible. My job forces me to speak in public, so my trick is this: I just pretend all the people in the room aren't there. I'll ignore them and just talk. Say what I need to say, get it over with, and get out. Believe it or not, it helps. Maybe you could imagine you're actually talking to us, and not to them?

I don't know if this is any help, but maybe worth a try, so that you can tell someone what's going on with you and how bad things are??

Take care...

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You could also try the old trick of imagining everyone in their underwear. :)

Ever try connecting with your inner light? Might be helpful in building your confidence and self-appreciation. Close your eyes and try to feel your positive energy. Think of all the things that are beautiful about you and connect with that. Relax your body and let yourself feel your own goodness. Know that it's okay to feel your own love. You are a good person, kind and caring, with remarkable resilience and determination. Let yourself shine. It works for me. What do you think? :)

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