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Not sure if I'm out of place.


OnlyHuman
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Well, I haven't been here in a while and things have changed so I wasn't sure. Feeling pretty overwhelmed and alone. I'm medicated but frankly don't have a whole lot of time to be wiling to tie up in therapy. I'll admit that I need it.

I'm working a ton of hours due to the disasters and there isn't a day off in sight. I have a boat load of responsibilities at home, a lot to get done. The calls at work are so draining and I fell like I get off and it's go go go from there on to get everything else done. I long for a good friend but either can't or am unwilling to open up. I don't know how, really. I'm tired of guys in and out. I'm tired of everyone in and out when it's best for them. I talk folks through and am there for them no matter what's going on in my life and I really just want someone like that for me. I'm terrified of making myself vulnerable and people walking away. I can hang out but I can't really talk to people in person. So, I find myself coping in a way I shouldn't be. Also, giving myself to guys I don't even care about to have moments where I feel loved....though that's far from the truth. I don't know. I'm just....not feeling so great about anything, really. Tonights better than last night but it's still kinda sucky.

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Hi, OnlyHuman. :)

I can understand how working with people who have been through the disaster must be very draining. This kind of thing can be difficult for anyone to deal with, and especially so if you are sensitive to the pain and struggle of others. I would think it would be very important for you to find the time to take care of your needs and replenish. I hope you are able to do something for yourself that is soothing and relaxing. It's very valuable work you're doing. Thank you.

Maybe it takes more time to open up to a friend? I have some abandonment fears too so I can relate. It feels risky to be vulnerable. The rewards can be amazing, though, too. Friendships can be very healing. It's nice to have someone there for us. I wish that for you.

I hope that life eases up for you soon. Take gentle care.

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I feel horrible for even complaining about work when I'm not in the midst of the storm. I really miss seeing my kids and am just worn out completely. Definitely could use some help..but wouldn't ask.

I have never thought about group therapy but it's an amazing idea. That's definitely something I need to look into.

And, yes.. There are people I like. Not many I trust though. I'm great with small talk but it never goes further than that.

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Maybe step by step? In a group therapy session you could talk about the things that block you as they come up in your life, and get the perspective of others who also struggle with trust and feeling ok around others.

You can always vent here, OH. It's got to be very hard being away from your kids even if it's for a worthy cause :(

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