Help I miss my therapist

[redhead805]

I just moved from California to DC less than a month ago after graduating college in May and spending the summer traveling Europe. Before graduating I'd been seeing my therapist for the last few years and although he told me he believes I'd be ok on my own and phased me out of therapy slowly, I really, really miss him. Even though I barely know anyone in DC I've been loving my new home and city and haven't felt lonely or homesick at all really, the only thing I really miss is my therapist. I often find myself wishing I could tell him something, or ask his advice, or even have him tell me I'm making bad decisions...I really just miss his guidance. Even writing this is making me cry.

I suffer from depression, anxiety and ptsd and I honestly believe that my old therapist saved my life. That being said, I never felt particularly attatched to him while I was seeing him. He was very into buddhism and meditation (which is very opposite of my personality) and I often felt he was too emotional or mushy, but now I really miss talking to him and having someone be so warm (even though it usually bothered me when I was in his office)

I tried seeing another therapist here in DC but I hated her. She made me cry twice and not in a constructive emotional breakthrough kind of way, she was just judgemental and kind of mean. I know I could try another therapist but the thought of going through my personal history again with another new therapist is really overwhelming and unappealing. Since he is 3000 miles away, going back to him is not an option but I don't know what to do.

I think about him often throughout the day and often try to imagine what he would say if I told him about what's going on in my life. It's like a cross between a really bad break up and a family member's death and I'm really struggling to cope.

If anyone has gone through similar feelings after discontinuing therapy with someone they'd been seeing for a few years, I'd love some advice on how you dealt with it.

[Guest]

Have you looked for a male therapist maybe? I find I can talk to guys better then women, women always seem judgmental to me. Try emailing him? I have never been helped through therapy but I hope I've helped you even though I don't know what your going through too well.

[IrmaJean]

Welcome to the community, redhead.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I know it can be challenging. I've been through something similar. Journaling, talking about my feelings, reaching out for support, and connecting with my own gifts and light were helpful to me in getting through this. It sounds as though you have some awareness of what you are missing and this is positive. It's okay to cry and feel sad. I hope you will be very gentle with yourself.

I hear you about not wanting to start over with a new therapist. It can take a while to find a good match, but maybe once you do, it would be helpful to you? You can always talk here and express yourself too. We are here to support you.

Take care.

[Lana73]

Hi and welcome to the community.

Just a thought- what if you have a Skype session with your therapist once in a while this way you feel that he is still part of your life?

I've heard that more and more people are starting to use skyping due to distance issues.

It may not be an option for you, but I just thought that this is something you might want to look into?

I think emailing him and telling him how you feel would be helpful to you. He may not respond though. A lot of therapists don't keep in touch with their former patients.

After struggling with finding a new therapist, i was able to find a female therapist that I adore and trust, which I thought would never happen.

Take care

[malign]

One thought I had was, would your old therapist be able to recommend someone on the east coast to you? He might not know any, but if he did, it might feel like you had at least a little continuity.

[redhead805]

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. I haven't contacted him at all since my last appointment so maybe emailing him will help. I'm going to try that today and maybe ask him about doing a few sessions over skype.

[LaLa]

I wish you good luck and... I also would like to "warn you" (although others already did) that you might be very disappointed (yet it's not a reason for not trying!!! Go ahead! ). There really are therapists with strict "rules against" e-mail and Skype... I hope that if your ex-T refuses, you'll at least receive a clear answer (perhaps, if you're lucky, also good explanation) and wouldn't feel confused and uncertain (as, for instance, I did as my ex-T didn't have any strict rules, he replied few times "randomly" and then didn't anymore, without warning me that he wouldn't)...