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Having Nothing to live for, committing suicide in December for my miniature penis


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I am 27 years old. I have a 2.9 in erect penis and I will end my life at the end of the year after my next birthday. I hate my life no matter how much I try and WANT AND NEED TO ACCEPT IT, I am not able to escape what is reality in today's world. The fact is that people make fun and humiliate small penises all the time, and if that small percentage that do not do it in public, THEY DO IN PRIVATE, I KNOW I HAVE EXPERIENCED MANY OCCASIONS FROM HEARING ABOUT IT THROUGHOUT MY PATHETIC SHAMEFUL LIFE! I agree that it shouldn't be about a penis or breast also, but the fact is that nobody makes fun of small breasts anymore-it's not seen anymore at all in fact, it's more acceptable for everyone to make fun of small penises and females are ready to get even with males after all the history of female suppression all throughout history since they have more and increasing freedom yearly. Plus society is not going backward like the old days where not many people were exposed to sex and penises like they are today which is only going to increase in exposure and so my zero hope of it getting any better is going below zero. The fact is that more and more people are having more and more sex with different people all the time and have been exposed to average,above average and huge humongous penises. As I told you I am getting more and more depressed every single day and it has really lately in my latest spurt of penis worries(which I have had since I was in 7th grade) affected me everywhere, my grades have took a hit that I am about to fail again because of my penis insecurities because I always think about it and cannot concentrate thinking everyone knows or thinks I have a small penis and my confidence is always below zero, whenever I go to class and it's over I come straight home as soon as I can, I have no energy, nothing at all seems fun anymore, I have been trying to avoid going in public at all, I don't see myself getting out of my house to get the mail, I have been putting things in my pants to make it look like I have a normal penis even though they fall out- if once in a month I go play a sports activity-it's embarrassing!, and I am a big tall guy. Everyone from past and current experiences realize I have a small penis by the way I act and being shy and saying nothing still at 27 years old living with parents and still a virgin that everybody can figure out. I have maybe used the urinals probably 3 times in my life when the coast is clear and people in school always questioned me why I never go to the bathroom, and later every week telling me it's the motion of the ocean because they see me depressed all the time-I don't know how they figure out I have a small penis! I only go to use bathroom and see if the stall is open-if not I act like I am washing my hands or my face in the sink, sometimes I pee on myself when my penis is really really shrunk. I have not approached a girl or even had sex with anyone. You can tell from a mile I have a small penis and everyone can figure it out right though the empty space in my shorts and pants no matter big or small.

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I understand many of you are feeling a lot of pain and anger, which can sometimes be directed at women, but it really isn't helpful to anyone to denigrate and generalize. It is okay to express your feelings as it applies to yourself.

Posting suicide plans here is not acceptable either. It is okay to discuss and express your feelings.

I'm sorry you are both hurting so much. I wish I knew how to help. There is so much more to an individual than body measurements, whatever they happen to be.

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I am a 36 year old gay male. I have a small penis which has effected my confidence and all my relationships. Not because of the size of my penis, they didnt seem to mind that so much, maybe because I'm a bottom not a top. But my lack of confidence lowers my sex drive that is why relatinships ruin. Im ashamed and embaressed, being gay you always hate being the smaller one all the time and in the end l have just given up on sharing my life with someone because of my small sized penis. It has a "big" impact on all life issues due to confidence and self loathing. I will never be happy because lm at the piont of having an phobia of going to bed with someone or exposing myself.

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Irma, I am not necessarily blaming women, just how society has come to be today in an oversexed world that's not going to get better but worse from the exposure of more and more sex. I along with others who truly have a miniature penis are the ones that have been paying the price, shamed, ridiculed, embarrassed, you name it. I am only talking because sex is a NECESSARY part of life. If I can't have sex because of the society today in order for me to function and live properly as a human being then what's the point in living knowing you will ALWAYS be rejected. I have a better chance at winning the lottery than finding a woman who can accept what I have and marry me and the chances of finding the right women only decrease. 1 in a million today will be 1 in 10 million in a couple of years.Finding a woman today that's grown up from exposure to society's ways today is impossible, it's not like finding a needle in a haystack, it's like chasing a dream, an illusion, something that doesn't exist, if you were trying to find the needle in a haystack more and more hay is being stacked on everyday. Talking about me going to other side after I die, has started to give me a greater peace of mind knowing all I have through and my suffering on a daily bases will come to an end. At least I have hope in the afterlife that I will never have here on earth as I have experienced it.

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I think it's very important how we treat ourselves and one another.

If you know you will always be rejected, you likely will. You aren't giving yourself the opportunity. Sometimes when we fear something, it feels safer to give up and not try at all, but doing that (while protecting us from possible pain) also prevents us from ever experiencing what we truly want.

Suicide makes everything final. Things can get better. Suffering does not have to go on. There is help out there and people who care. I hope you will reach out for help.

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Friends there is more to life than sex. There is much to live for and anyone looking to receive would do well to give freely because this shows confidence & is attractive to all. Everyone of us suffers in some way, some just hide it well. Compassion is the answer for ourselves & others. Go forth into the world and LOVE.

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Friends there is more to life than sex. There is much to live for and anyone looking to receive would do well to give freely because this shows confidence & is attractive to all. Everyone of us suffers in some way, some just hide it well. Compassion is the answer for ourselves & others. Go forth into the world and LOVE.

That's just childish.

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I have a better chance at winning the lottery than finding a woman who can accept what I have and marry me and the chances of finding the right women only decrease. 1 in a million today will be 1 in 10 million in a couple of years.Finding a woman today that's grown up from exposure to society's ways today is impossible, it's not like finding a needle in a haystack, it's like chasing a dream, an illusion, something that doesn't exist, if you were trying to find the needle in a haystack more and more hay is being stacked on everyday. Talking about me going to other side after I die, has started to give me a greater peace of mind knowing all I have through and my suffering on a daily bases will come to an end. At least I have hope in the afterlife that I will never have here on earth as I have experienced it.

I have been trying to tell them that, but it's always avoided, why? Because it's true, and they don't want to address it. It would ruin their happy little vision of life.

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Trust me its easier to say for anyone who doesn't have a micro mini mi penis. Less than a damn mini snickers bar. It's not something that you can just say it will get better, it will get better. Reality is, its not going to and to brush it off is not really helping. This is a huge physical defect FIRST that affects you psychologically second. I have already mentioned people laughing at me from my shorts, my shorts and my pants! Even from a lady who has like 7 kids with 2 being adopted!!! Are you freaking kidding me! I was going to wreck my car and die that day on the side of the road. I am here to speak the truth in reality as it goes on until I vanish my soul off of the face of the earth this December. It's unlucky I didn't live in the past where my mini mi micro penis would have been a non issue or in the year 2100 where you can have cells to grow a good penis. It's unfortunate and I have been unfortunate all of my life. Even if I try to forget about it, it won't last more than a couple of days because mini mi is always with me and reminds me now of a greater hope, like going to heaven, a better life that I can have in my afterlife. I have been coping and trying to deal with this for too too long most of my life for 2 decades now two! It's time I give my self hope and the only thing that will give me any bright light is picturing my self in heaven in the afterlife.

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Irma, I am not necessarily blaming women, just how society has come to be today in an oversexed world that's not going to get better but worse from the exposure of more and more sex....

...1 in a million today will be 1 in 10 million in a couple of years.Finding a woman[who can accept my body] today that's grown up from exposure to society's ways today is impossible...

I'm kind of ranting, but first let me say that suicide is never a solution to anything. Maybe there is an afterlife, maybe there isn't, but whatever fate awaits you, it's not like it's not going to be waiting for you 80 years from now. So what's the rush? What is certain is that there is not coming back from such a permanent decision, and if there is a chance of happiness and your life improving, how is it not worth pursuing that option? It's not like you are in such great physical pain that life is unbearable, you are hurting emotionally, and there are many ways of rectifying that suffering. Your prospects of happiness are not as bleak as you think, and I know this because if you think suicide is a good option, you are not considering the prospects of your life rationally. There is so much joy in life, and even if your penis never "gets better," your life certainly can(and will if you are willing to accept help) by finding love, either for yourself or in another person.

Suicide is the most selfish decision anyone can ever make. As much as you may hate yourself, there are people out there that love you and care about you. Think about those people and what they would feel if you killed yourself. It's not ok to suffer in silence if that is the conclusion you come to. Just think of all the pain you would cause over your pride(maybe it's not just pride, but I know that is the major issue of SPH for me and it sounds like it's a major contributor towards your suffering as well.) It's the epitome of selfishness. And even if you are so unfortunate in life that you don't know a single person that loves or cares about you, know that there are plenty of good people walking this earth that would feel that way about you and care about without even knowing who you are or your real name. I read your pain and I care about you, it hurts me that you are so certain that no one in this world will ever love you. In my opinion, I think you are overestimating the unlikeliness(as well as overestimating the impact that society has on a woman's desire to be with a wonderful person who makes her feel loved regardless of the size of their sexual organ,) because your self hatred is being broadcast onto the other 4 billion people on Earth comprised of individuals with different wants and feelings.

Sexual liberation is not an enemy of those with small penises, assholes are. We should all feel good about our bodies, because they're the only ones we've got, and because the very fact that we're sitting at our computers comprehending the fact that we're floating around space on a giant rock is proof that life is miraculously beautiful and wonderful. Don't listen to people who want you to feel pain, because they are most likely broadcasting their own pain that they are feeling. As we all become more enlightened about sexuality, we will realize that it's not about the proportions of our physical bodies, but about our minds and how well we can connect with others in mutual enjoyment. Lesbians have great sex, right? Even ugly old ones, too. So maybe sex, which I agree is necessary to happiness, is not just about penis size, or about having big breasts and a round ass and a skinny waste. I'd argue that there are many women, and men, who feel this way about their partners; that the emotional stimulation of sharing happiness with someone is far superior and more important than any physical stimulation that our body parts can provide.

I hate my penis, too. I don't like my body, and I'm very lonely romantically, but I don't think for a second that women becoming more liberated sexually means that my chances of finding love and happiness in my life are decreasing. Our penises are not for everyone, but it only takes one special person to make you complete, and the good people on this earth far outnumber the bad ones. All of this said, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to love someone who doesn't love themselves. If you love yourself and don't listen to others or yourself telling you aren't _____ enough, plenty of people will want to be with you.

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For a moment I thought I posted this. I plan to end it all next year before my 30th birthday for some of the same reasons, some of which is my insanely small penis. At 25yo I set a goal to pull myself together, buy a house, get a girlfriend or at the very least have sex, try and go on more adventures with friends, all around try and better myself and those around me. After four years of saving and working to save up the money I was told because I was a hard working self employed guy(with more than enough for a down payment on a house) that I would never get a loan. Cannot figure out how to talk to women and being a 29 year old virgin with a small penis most women will only run for the hills. No friends and my family has already forgotten I am still alive so that will help with the blow. So yeah I could spend the next 30-40 years alone, depressed never knowing happiness waiting to die naturally or I can speed up the process and basically end it on my terms. I am not blaming women for being shallow because they have the right to reject me for being a loser with a small penis, they have the right to have standards, I just have accepted that I will always be a loser in spite of years of trying to fight nature. I understand perfectly the pain that you are going through but I will say maybe set one final goal for yourself and see if you can reach it, then if like me that goal is a failure make the final call. Peace.

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Thanks to all the replies from everyone. I appreciate every single post from all you guys on this depressing matter.

Reply to spitfire 101

That's the only reason why I haven't killed myself yet is because I have a personal goal that hopefully will be accomplished in December as it is my absolute last chance. This December is when everything will collide for me and decisions will be made. I plan on graduating hopefully in December as it is my absolute last chance(out of money already) and just a couple of days later is my birthday and my parents have given me the ultimatum for 2 years now that I will be kicked out the end of this year whether I graduate or not! I have been going to college since graduating high school-I'm 27 now and will be 28 when I graduate-you do the math.I have been one the biggest failures in history. My classmates from high school have all gotten married and have had a couple of kids already. Everyone has progressed through life and moved on, BUT ME. My mini penis is not just my only problem although it is a HUGE problem for me and has been a problem since I was a little kid. My life is so sad, you can write a story about it and win a Noble Peace Prize for all the sadness and what I have been through my entire life. It is an AMERICAL that I am still alive today to be honest. I have no money, no job, no good looks, I stink naturally(that started 5 years ago and I have hyperhidrosis that it literally and I mean literally be freezing ice cold outside and me with 1 light shirt on and I will be sweating like an animal). So to say the least, I literally and figuratively have nothing to live for. I feel so bad,really really bad sometimes because I know my mom want to be a grandmother so much that sometimes I can't take it not being able to help her out. She is always talking about getting a girl for me, but I only keep telling her I don't want you picking a girl for me, I will pick my own girl. Then she says but you never go anywhere.I tell her whenever the right girl comes, the right girl comes! All this I have been doing for the real disguise I have been hiding. My mom and dad don't really know I have a mini penis, I think they have an idea that I have a tiny or small penis, but not a mini penis. They think I am just shy, but the only reason I am shy is because of my mini penis. So the only reason I have started to write on this site after many years of hiding and finding no answers to an unsolvable mini penis, I have become happier that you won't imagine knowing all of this will end one day. I have to make no more excuses, no more ridicule, no more being talked about by everyone, no more shame, no more torture, no more embarassment, and I will be FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST! I am beginning to cry in such happiness at me imagining that moment happen when finally, and it's been a long time coming that I WILL FINALLY BE FREE.

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["There is help out there and people who care."]

tell me, which help that can make our penis bigger?

people care because they pity us... tell me, is there any women that pity us want to marry us the small penis men? yes, "S M A L L" not "small than average"...

Help for people struggling with mental health. Having a penis isn't an issue at all if you are confident and happy and knowledge about pleasing your partner. You can absolutely get help for improving your mood and state of mind.

["Friends there is more to life than sex. There is much to live for and anyone looking to receive would do well to give freely because this shows confidence & is attractive to all. Everyone of us suffers in some way, some just hide it well. Compassion is the answer for ourselves & others. Go forth into the world and LOVE."]

you should tell that to men that have "small than average" penis size and men with average penis size, not to us that have " s m a l l " penis...

I don't know where your cutoff is, but this mindset is true for everyone. If you love yourself, people will be lined up at your door ready to love you, and if you make them orgasm and feel loved, they aren't going to want to leave you, regardless of your body. That's how our species works.

["I'm kind of ranting, but first let me say that suicide is never a solution to anything. Maybe there is an afterlife, maybe there isn't, but whatever fate awaits you, it's not like it's not going to be waiting for you 80 years from now. So what's the rush?"]

so, it's better for us to live to suffer than end it?

Not what I'm saying. It's better to try to stop the suffering in your life than to stop your life. There is no certainty of anything after death, and you certainly won't ever come back from it. So, yes, it's better to live an imperfect life, and actively seek ways of making your life better and improving your mental health, than to stop living. Absolutely yes.

["Suicide is the most selfish decision"]

no, it's not selfish decision, we kill ourselves because we lost hope, and we no longer can stand this condition, while the other just don't like to see somebody die... they don't care about our suffering, it's better for them that we live to suffer than kill ourselves to end our suffering...

How can you say that others don't care about your suffering? Have you ever discussed your SPS issues with anyone at length? I'm 100% sure that the people in your life would care about your suffering if they knew the extent of it, and they would probably want to do anything within their power to help you make your life better.

["Lesbians have great sex, right?"]

I think what prevent lesbian looking for big penis because they not interested with men... but they use strapon dildo to penetrate their partner (yes, even lesbian want to be penetrated...). I believe every straight women think that penis is a "MUST" for men!

A small penis is still a penis. It can penetrate and impregnate. What I'm getting at with the Lesbian thing is that they have perfectly satisfactory sex lives using the entirety of their bodies without a penis(and yes, toys as well, but I'm telling you that not all Lesbian sex is focused around strap-ons) so there is no reason why our sex lives can't be satisfactory as well. Also, why can't men and women implement sex toys to improve upon their collective sexual satisfaction? If I find a woman that I truly love and she truly loves me back, I'd have no problem mixing in whatever toys she wanted, even ones way bigger than me, to bring her additional sexual satisfaction. It's just physical stimulation, I'm sure by the time I'm 50, there will be sex robots whose orifices are way more satisfying than her's, so what's the big deal if I dabble in those occasionally with sex-tron1000 if she is still the person that I love?

["is not just about penis size"]

once again, tell that to men with "small than average" penis and men with average penis... not to us men with " s m a l l " penis

I actually kind of agree with this sentiment. I'm 4"x4", so I can't speak for those who are smaller. But I am also excluded whenever the issue of size usually comes up in online help forums, because they're always like "well, just measure yourself, 5.5" is average so you're probably fine. Women don't really care or talk about it unless you're really small" I fucking hate that shit. Still, though, I'm not going to let my dick ruin my life. Only I can do that.

["but I don't think for a second that women becoming more liberated sexually means that my chances of finding love and happiness in my life are decreasing. Our penises are not for everyone, but it only takes one special person to make you complete]

yes true, if your penis is not small enough... women looking for men with big penis like men that looking for women with big breast, the difference, small breast women still can make men orgasm while small penis men can't make women orgasm...

THIS IS JUST SOOOOO FALSE. Making women orgasm is not a measurement, it's a comprehensive set of skills. The internet is littered with stories of men with big penises who suck at sex because they just ram it in there a bunch of times until they make themselves cum. Somewhere around 70% of women cannot achieve orgasm from penetration alone. That's whether you're 3" or 9". They need direct clitoral stimulation which for many women is not big enough or located close enough to the vagina to be achieved by simply dicking her. Some women can orgasm from hitting a right spot within their vagina(which some report is easier achieved with a small-average penis than a big one), and some women can't orgasm at all. The thing is, every woman is different, and making someone orgasm is more about picking the lock that is their mind rather than bashing the lock with a hammer. I know that Dan Savage has expressed some very interesting opinions on small penises and how women in long term relationships with people like us actually report greater levels of satisfaction because we are willing to try harder and communicate with what they want rather than just ramming them until completion. If you're actually curious about the sex things, I'm probably not the "expert" you're looking for, but I'd highly recommend checking out his thoughts on the matter, which are featured at the end of Patrick Moote's "Unhung Hero" movie. It's honestly probably the only part worth watching, because the rest is kind of stupid and just Patrick traveling the world doing weird things.

Thanks to all the replies from everyone. I appreciate every single post from all you guys on this depressing matter.

Reply to spitfire 101

That's the only reason why I haven't killed myself yet is because I have a personal goal that hopefully will be accomplished in December as it is my absolute last chance. This December is when everything will collide for me and decisions will be made. I plan on graduating hopefully in December as it is my absolute last chance(out of money already) and just a couple of days later is my birthday and my parents have given me the ultimatum for 2 years now that I will be kicked out the end of this year whether I graduate or not! I have been going to college since graduating high school-I'm 27 now and will be 28 when I graduate-you do the math.I have been one the biggest failures in history. My classmates from high school have all gotten married and have had a couple of kids already. Everyone has progressed through life and moved on, BUT ME. My mini penis is not just my only problem although it is a HUGE problem for me and has been a problem since I was a little kid. My life is so sad, you can write a story about it and win a Noble Peace Prize for all the sadness and what I have been through my entire life. It is an AMERICAL that I am still alive today to be honest. I have no money, no job, no good looks, I stink naturally(that started 5 years ago and I have hyperhidrosis that it literally and I mean literally be freezing ice cold outside and me with 1 light shirt on and I will be sweating like an animal). So to say the least, I literally and figuratively have nothing to live for. I feel so bad,really really bad sometimes because I know my mom want to be a grandmother so much that sometimes I can't take it not being able to help her out. She is always talking about getting a girl for me, but I only keep telling her I don't want you picking a girl for me, I will pick my own girl. Then she says but you never go anywhere.I tell her whenever the right girl comes, the right girl comes! All this I have been doing for the real disguise I have been hiding. My mom and dad don't really know I have a mini penis, I think they have an idea that I have a tiny or small penis, but not a mini penis. They think I am just shy, but the only reason I am shy is because of my mini penis. So the only reason I have started to write on this site after many years of hiding and finding no answers to an unsolvable mini penis, I have become happier that you won't imagine knowing all of this will end one day. I have to make no more excuses, no more ridicule, no more being talked about by everyone, no more shame, no more torture, no more embarrassment, and I will be FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST! I am beginning to cry in such happiness at me imagining that moment happen when finally, and it's been a long time coming that I WILL FINALLY BE FREE.

...except you'll be dead. You won't be free because you won't be anything. I don't want to impose my own spiritual beliefs on anyone, but unless you are the most faithful of people, its more likely than not that after our brains stop firing, everything that is our existence will cease to be. The only thing that will live on is the memory of us inside of the firing minds of others. And that is why I say that suicide is incredibly selfish. Your parents and everyone that loves you will continue to live their lives but only with the extreme grief that you ending your life has caused them. If your only options were continue to live your life in agony or make everyone else live their lives with all of the agony of your death shared among them, it'd be one thing, but life is just not binary like that. There are millions of options, and you absolutely should try to choose one that involves seeking help and finding ways of making your life better and less full of agony(even the most happiness-filled of lives will have frequent agony, but at that point agony isn't the enemy of happiness, it's just the complement to it). Think about this: if your mother and father could read your mind, do you think they'd continue their lives as per normal? Would your mother be pressuring you about not bringing her grandchildren?(my mom does this, too, bro hug) Do you think they'd be at work right now, or watching tv? No, they'd be driving as fast as they could to you right now to help you in any way that they could so that they don't have to live the rest of their lives without you and so you don't have to live your life in agony. You have to let people in to your mind if your mind is considering suicide. It's just selfish not to. No rational, properly functioning mind would ever kill itself(outside of a zombie apocalypse/end of Independence Day-type scenario). Your life is pain right now, but there are people who can help with that, maybe there is something wrong with how your brain is functioning on a chemical level and a doctor could help alleviate your agony. There are any number of things that can be done about depression, and the truly frank thing is that just talking about issues sometimes can make them go away. Maybe your penis will still bother you, but if you know that a happy future is something you want to pursue, no physical impediment can stop you as long as you love yourself. That's what IrmaJean is talking about, you have to love yourself. It's easy to love other people, heck, I love a dog more than life itself and he shits in my room occasionally, but the important thing in life is that we have to love ourselves. It comes easier to some than others, but that doesn't mean that we should stop working to get there just because we're disadvantaged, it just means that we'll truly appreciate it more once we get there.

As for the money thing, I know first hand how tough it can be. It sucks, big time, but you are almost out of school, and once you start earning a good wage things will definitely look brighter. You can always be a trashman, because they get good pay and benefits because nobody wants to be one. I think if I weren't currently working for my broke-ass family company and had no better job prospects, then that is what I'd do. Being broke is a temporary problem, and you're going to have a degree soon, so with patience and conservative spending, you shouldn't have any problems fixing your financial situation.

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You believe death is freedom littleonehiding?

I ask because my Christian religious faith has really helped me, I believe you can have the freedom you crave in this life. I have prayed for you and I hope you will be granted the opportunity to know the deep love that God has for you.

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  • 3 weeks later...
yes true, if your penis is not small enough... women looking for men with big penis like men that looking for women with big breast, the difference, small breast women still can make men orgasm while small penis men can't make women orgasm...
I used to not mind small breasts. Oddly I would now.

So if you were a woman reading my comment for whether guys mind small breasts then she could quote me as evidence guys would not be ok with small breasts... AND YET years ago I WOULD have been.

Maybe the error is in assuming humans are logical and in taking their fickle opinions too seriously?

Just go out, roll and tumble with humanity leave cruelty behind, move towards Love. Have a fucking blast.

Anyone with me?

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  • 1 year later...

I am in my 50's and have been married over 25 years small penis and all. I have suffered chronic depression my entire adult life and if I sit back and think and go deep into my brain, a great deal of it has to do with the size of my cock. I understand the mind of one who is suicidally depressed. I hate mother fuckers who who just don't get it and label it a "Selfish Act." It's not a selfish act it's an act of someone who is in so much miserable unrelenting pain there is no other option. If my wife ever left me and I was thrust into the world middle aged with my pathetic cock I don't think I could go on. I really don't. There would be no way I could ever date again. Hell I'd be too embarrassed to pick up a hooker to satisfy my needs. Littleonehiding......I am so sorry for you pain and I completely understand. I understand fucking feel good comments like "Sex isn't everything" and "You are not defined by your penis size" don't fucking help at all. Maybe somehow you can hang on long enough to the point where the will develop a real penis enlargement proceedure....................In the mean time I blame women. Like the women I work with who all sit around a sham on guys with small dicks.

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