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rmp

Your typical vent about penis size

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Hello.

 

First of all I would like to apologise to everyone because I know how annoying this topic can be to some people. I am not sure this will even be approved and posted since there are usually a lot of posts related to this matter and I won't be surprised if mine gets rejected. Nevertheless I need to vent about it.

 

Penis size has been a big problem in my life. I hit puberty around the age of 13 and I started masturbating soon after which naturally coincided with the discovery of porn. Until my mid teens penis size wasn't really a problem so there's not really a lot to mention. I was a normal and happy kid.

Fast forwarding until the age of 16.  

At 16 I had my first girlfriend. My insecurities started around that age and I believe that the main cause for that to happen was porn. I was a regular "consumer" of porn. By the age of 16 I believe I had already seen basically a bit of everything porn had to offer. I used to masturbate a lot during that period but I don't really think it reached the point of becoming an addiction. I believe It was just my uncontrollable hormones and my high sexual desire. Anyway... That girlfriend was the first person ever to whom I shared my insecurities with. For a 16 year old I think she handled the situation quite well at the time in all honesty. She didn't bully me. She didn't jump into conclusions. She probably thought things but was patient and supportive. She was also the first girl/woman that saw my penis fully erect. I remember that when she saw it she said that I wasn't small and if I was small she didn't want to know what big meant. I kind of believed in her despite knowing that there was no way for her to know for sure because she wasn't that experienced. Although she managed to calm my insecurities with it. Maybe she was bullshitting me. I am aware that's a possibility but back then it worked. It didn't "heal" my doubts and insecurities but it did make me feel less pressured about my member (with her).

We eventually broke up and after that I've never been the same. I fell into a deep depression. I couldn't finish high school because of it and I didn't have any other partner until now (age 22). I had 5 years of very intense depression with panic attacks in between (which were the worst part because my panic attacks were similar to seizures and it used to mess with my blood pressure). I've been fighting slowly. Finished High School last year. Had my first job and met my current girlfriend. 

 

I am drifting away from the main topic. Don't worry. It starts now.

 

I became obsessed with penis size. Paranoid. I kept watching porn and comparing my member over and over and over again.

 

-It reached a point where I measured my member everyday multiple times a day.

-I was ashamed of my size.

-I was embarrassed of being naked in the locker room although I never hid myself. That's something I take a bit of pride in.  

-I don't pee near other men. For some reason I can never do it. I can never pee if I feel like I'm being watched. It's ridiculous.

-I don't go to the gym because I am tired of comparing myself to others. I do it unconsciously and I am tired of it.

 

Clearly I believe I developed a "small penis syndrome" but I don't think my insecurities are badly supported. The truth is I am indeed small so my insecurities weren't born out of thin air. These are my measurements approximately:

BPEL: 15cm-16cm (The lowest I registered and the highest respectively. I don't know if I measured it wrong sometimes or if I was biased but 14cm is definitely the lowest I registered while fully erect.)

NBPEL: 14cm - 14.5cm

GIRTH: 13.5cm - 14cm

 

So as you can conclude I am on the smaller side. And it has been a very complicated war against myself. The struggle to accept things the way they are. I am well aware that things could have been worse but that thought isn't enough. I tried talking about it with therapists and how deep the problem is but the hints I dropped were probably not loud enough for them to deduct that there was something serious about those insecurities. Truth is I can't talk about it unless someone pushes me to do it. It's a miracle I am doing so right now.

 

To make matters worse I cannot last too long in bed. I am sexually active with my current girlfriend and unless I use those condoms that make you last longer then I can barely last 1 or 2 minutes. Sometimes even seconds. To be fair the relationship is Long distance and we only see each other every 2 weeks. Sometimes we don't have sex. I believe that maybe with some more practice I would improve my time. Plus I do all sorts of things to train my muscles down there. Kegel exercises. I try to last at least 10 minutes while masturbating everytime. I do exercises to my muscles while peeing (which can cause injuries even). I am trying. It doesn't help that I am a very anxious man and I truly believe that anxiety plays a big role in this department. If I am not okay in my mind then that will affect things. Fortunately it never affected my erections yet. Gladly I am still like a 16 year old.

 

This seriously depresses me because I am a fool for love and all I want is to feel like I am what my partner wants and needs. To feel like I can be the best for her and I don't think I will ever feel like that with anyone. Maybe she does indeed feel that I am enough and that I am what she needs and wants but I can't accept it and that's my problem. Not hers.

 

Men that are on the smaller side like me experienced it. They've seen through their own eyes and felt with their own mind how women feel pleasure with above average members. I will never feel what that is like. I am tired. There's so much more to talk about this yet but I can't do it. I am aware that the character of a man shouldn't and isn't defined by the size of his penis but it does make an impact in my opinion.

 

Like that saying goes "Good men don't come with good dick". I am not by any means classifying myself as a "good man" but I see truth in that sentence.

I don't know how to fix this problem. 

 

Thanks for reading and, again, I am sorry. I am just your typical insecure man about his penis size... Jesus... I am really weak.

 

 

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@rmp

your not weak at all. You were strong enough to come on here and ask for help. That takes balls. 

I’ve found on the times I can’t last long in bed I focus more on my partners pleasure. Like longer foreplay and stuff like that. 

If you only see your gf every two weeks then that gives you plenty time to try things like edging which I think really helps 

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13 hours ago, Smallbeans said:

@rmp

your not weak at all. You were strong enough to come on here and ask for help. That takes balls. 

I’ve found on the times I can’t last long in bed I focus more on my partners pleasure. Like longer foreplay and stuff like that. 

If you only see your gf every two weeks then that gives you plenty time to try things like edging which I think really helps 

Thank you for reaching out. And yes I do try edging already but only while masturbating. I researched about it and I think I do it properly but you never know I suppose. Once again thank you.

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On 6/11/2018 at 4:41 AM, rmp said:

can conclude I am on the smaller side. And it has been a very complicated war against myself. The struggle to accept things the way they are. I am well aware that things could have been worse but that thought isn't enough. I tried talking about it with therapists and how deep the problem is but the hints I dropped were probably not loud enough for them to deduct that there was something serious about those insecurities.

No, you are above average.

I would suspect you have other issues that you unconsciously project on you penis.  Perhaps you are not as "masculine" as you would like?  Maybe you are shy?  Maybe you are not as assertive as you think you should be.  ......  etc.  Just guessing.  Maybe your hormones are off the mark so you feel inadequate.

Perhaps worry about your penis is more "comfortable" than your real problems.

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On 6/11/2018 at 2:41 AM, rmp said:

These are my measurements approximately:

BPEL: 15cm-16cm (The lowest I registered and the highest respectively. I don't know if I measured it wrong sometimes or if I was biased but 14cm is definitely the lowest I registered while fully erect.)

NBPEL: 14cm - 14.5cm

GIRTH: 13.5cm - 14cm

 

So as you can conclude I am on the smaller side.

 

 

No. Average is between 5 and 7 inches (12.7cm to 17.78cm) so you are well within average size like most men in this world. If women have a problem with your penis it's their problem not yours. Also your girth is above average and that is what makes more of a difference to most women.

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