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Going into a state of depression?


inferiority

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I don't expect anybody to read this, but here goes...

Over the past few days, not really sure when this exactly started, i have been noticing that i seem to be getting into a more and more depressed state. I have been eating even less than i was before and have no intentions of doing so any more often at the moment. I have been sleeping a lot lately, probably about 5 hours during the day today, just wasting the day away. For some reason all of a sudden i feel very "dirty" i guess is the word to put here. i haven't gotten anything done today and my parents are all over my case for this. I am just full out hating myself right now, and im not sure if it is going to keep getting any worse than this. today, my parents managed to drag me into walmart with them, and i kept looking at the ground all of the time, not wanting to "sneak a peek at anything" is what i guess i was thinking, even though i am pretty sure i wouldn't anyway. i'm not really sure what is going on right now, whether it is depression or what, but at the moment i just feel like a lower sort of lifeform that doesn't deserve to inhabit the planet.

i hope that somebody reads this, but even if nobody does, at least getting this out there should be a little bit of a relief.

inferiority

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Wow, I can't help but smile a little at the advice that pseudome's receiving. It's like looking through a window into my own life, what with the "don't label yourself" talk. It's hard to listen to that, but it's so vital.

And pseud is right. You need to try to not obsess over anything. I'm pretty sure that I've got an OCD about these thoughts. I'm thinking about my situation and wanting to rid of it every second of every day, and that's making it all much harder.

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geeks do rule :o

i can't really get into any advanced things since i lack most of the basic tools that i would need, but some of my favorites are a taser i made out of an old computer harddrive and an old video camera, turning an old radio into a wireless transmitter, and right now i just felt like going back to basics and am making some good old graphite lightbulbs :(

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Pseud, you were like the third or fourth person to suggest that to me. I don't remember who was first, but DrPepper suggested I not obsess long before I ever "met" you, and DrPepper is younger than I am. So...

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Pseud, you were like the third or fourth person to suggest that to me. I don't remember who was first, but DrPepper suggested I not obsess long before I ever "met" you, and DrPepper is younger than I am. So...

psshhhhhh, I don't know what you are saying. I don't hear you. Fingers are in my ears. :o

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Thats well cool :cool:

Is there anyway you could maybe borrow the tools you need from school when you go back. I know when I was at school - well the years I actually attended - the IT and CDT teachers used to allow me to make my little inventions during break times (think its called recess in your country).

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lol ive got a copy of windows 1.1 (i think its 1.1) that my dad bought on a floppy disc when he was younger. i copied it off of the disc and into an .iso file and use it sometimes as a virtual computer. :) its amazing how much only about 20 years or so can chance the whole field of computing.

i don't think that my school would let me borrow things, they're quite stingy. they've tried that in the past and a lot of the stuff was stolen. lol sue, i haven't had recess since the 5th grade when i was about 10. after 5th grade where i live recess disappears and physical education becomes what was once recess (its not as fun but at least there are some games). and starting this year i don't even have gym, doh! :o my IT teacher does really love me though, im the only one that actually passed his class :( he told me im the only reason he still probably has a teaching job XD

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The fact that someone my age even remembers Win3.1 is amazing enough, much less that I know about C64. I kind of draw my line when the OS doesn't have a graphical user interface (GUI.)

I've got loads of those really old, large floppy disks that were actually floppy. I wish I had a computer that could actually read them...

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Inf, I've run Win3.1 through DosBox, but it probably would work better through a real virtual computer rather than a DOS emulator. I've actually still got the original disks laying around somewhere.

Back in my middle school, we had this great IT guy who I viewed as more of a friend than anything else. We had great times together and made each other laugh. He was so damn lazy, though. He never did his job :o. There was another IT guy there who I still have regular contact with because he's good friends with my friend's step dad. He's also a lot of fun to talk to. There's something about computer nerds that they're just so much more fun than normies.

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Let's see how nerdy you are. Do you know WinME? I've still got one of those that I use from time to time. I don't care what those critics say. The blue screen really adds to the color scheme of my room :o.

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lol yeah i have used winME on occasion. at one time i had that loaded as an .iso file as well, but have since deleted it since having to load it into the virtual pc became a bit of a hassle. but i suppose the virtual harddrive is still in my computer somewhere :o

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Ha! I love it. Somehow knowing about ten year old technology makes you a nerd! Back in my day, that stuff was taken for granted....kids these days.... :cool:

Seriously, though.....2000 wasn't that long ago. It wasn't. I swear. Sheesh. Sometimes when I'm not thinking about it, it still feels like the 90s....

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