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They're at it again... :'(


inferiority

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well, my day was just going a lot better, things were quiet and nice and i was finally getting a bit of relaxation time, i knew it was too good to last. I was just trying to get some more of my work done and i hear my parents raising their voices, and i knew what was about to happen...

mom and dad got into yet another physical confrontation, this time over someting trivial no doubt that escalated into a terrible sight. I don't want to get into much detail about what exactly went on, but i am sure that there are going to be some bruises on both of them tomorrow.

am still quite shook up from the whole ordeal, i kept yelling for them to stop but they didn't for a few minutes. now legs feel like spaghetti noodles and heart is about to leap out of my chest. right now they are still arguing verbally, but i am pretty sure that the physical part is over.

just got done consoling my little sister, since she seemed to be more shook up than i was. things just seem to be getting worse and worse around here, i wish that they would go on and just divorce already, since its obvious that they can no longer live together safely.

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Do you find that being with your siblings helps you through these ordeals?

Sometimes people are just far too stubborn to divorce. I've heard of it before, though your parents' case is probably the worst I've heard of.

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siblings are the only ones that aren't fighting at the moment, so yeah it helps to be around them, but right now, as i have mentioned before, i feel best just locked alone in my room while the feelings subside.

they're really quite bad and hard to live with. just remembered what started it. waht started it was over who was going to take me during the first few days of school to a college so that i could take a test to apply for college credit in one of my courses.

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inf - are you, and your siblings safe ?

You know you really shouldnt have to put up with this situation.

Is there a relative you can call and get to come round to help calm them both down a little ?

{{{{HUGS}}}}

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Sue's idea is good if at all possible.

I hope you don't feel like it's your fault that they're fighting. I mean, you probably have more sense than that, but people are brought up to believe all sorts of self-hating things.

Does it ever help you to get out of the house while they're fighting?

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as far as i can tell everybody is fine now, maybe with the exception of mom and dad.

there is no one i can call that would dare come to help, my parents have long since broken connections with most of my other relatives, and they only have enough courage to come around during the holidays and rarely to check on us at any other times, unless called upon first and made certain that no fighting is going to occur during their time here.

the thing that really scares me is that only me and my little sister were even phased by all of this. the other 2 siblings are acting as though this is normal and there is nothing wrong with it. they have gotten it into their mind that this is just the way things are and that nothing needs to be changed. i can only imagine what all this has done to their heads.

sorry if i am making no sense, but my mind is racing 1000 miles an hour.

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MM,

i know its not my fault, i just have unstable parents that honestly can't stand each other.

i didn't get around to leaving the house, just went straight to my room and blocked it all out, but getting out usually does help

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its okay inf - you are safe and so are your brothers and sisters thats the main thing.

if it flairs up again are you near to a phone or do you have access to a phone ???

Your gonna be okay - just keep you and your siblings in your room out of harms way - if you can.

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the other two are just walking around like nothing has happened. the sister is with my brother, watching him play some computer videogame.

the instinct to make any sort of call leaves once the things start and my only thought is to leave asap.

the whole ordeal has left me physically drained, i feel as though i have just run a mile and my thoughts are all clouded up.

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Hi Inferiority, my name is Cindy :) How are you holding up? A mutual friend of ours asked that I check out your blog, I hope you do not mind. How are you feeling as of now?

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i have already told them that their arguments are tearing me apart and that as soon as i am out of this hell that they call a home i am going to seek some mental help for a variety of issues, even if i had to pay for it myself. they understand that it's really bad for us, but they can't control themselves, they're so easily provoked. they're slowly pushing me towards the border of mental breakdown.

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I wish I could give more advice. It is concerning that two of your siblings don't seem to care. What are their general feelings toward your parents? Some people are so bothered by their parents that they swear to never be like them. Do you get the impression that your siblings hold that belief?

This is clearly not good for your own mental health. I wish there was something you can do...

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the two that don't seem to be affected also seem to have very bad outbursts and tempers. i hope its not rubbing off on them. i am determined to be nothing like my own parents and i despise them to the end of the planet. one of my relatives has offered to take me in when i was 18 and could legally move out, and i really think that i'll take him up on tht offer.

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Have you all tried family counseling? or is that out of the picture? I am sorry to hear that you are suffering so. Sometimes people are so caught up in their own problems that they do not recognize nor see the damage that is being caused all around them. I am not siding with your parents because as grown adults and parents they should know that their relationship is not a healthy one for them nor you and your siblings. What do they tell you when you tell them you want to seek out "mental help"?

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"good luck paying for that ****" thats pretty much an exact quote from my dad's mouth. the * word stats with an s. they really don't believe in counseling or therapy of any type, they're convinced that if they can't solve it themselves, then nobody can.

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You know sometimes the best love is tough love...have you thought about calling the police during one of their arguments? I know it may sound a bit harsh, but some people need a big wake up call before they can see a problem or fix it. You obviously know that your safety is at risk as well as your siblings, so that should be enough to call for outside help.

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Please call the police like cindy said - if things continue or worsen :) :)

If you feel unable to do that try and ring the help line number I gave you the other day - this is too much for you to try and cope with on your own :):o

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