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Help Me Erase Me


Ralph

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It hurts so bad. I wish I could explain but stupid words won't work for me right now.

I want to go but I don't have the guts. Yet I have the guts to live with the fact that I would hurt those closest to me simply to escape. I don't know how I sleep at night. Oh yeah, I don't. Unless I forgive myself, just for this moment. Maybe I can escape without hurting them. Will they even notice? Will it ever stop? Will I ever feel safe?

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I'm sorry you're hurting so deeply, Ralph. :( We're listening. Can you call for help, if you need to? A hospital? Your partner?

It takes a lot of courage to live life. I hope you will hold on. One day at a time. From what little I know you, I sense you have a strong presence and calm voice. Things can change. Pain can lessen. The future brings hope. Keep expressing yourself and please reach out to someone close by, if you don't feel safe. Sending my care and strength.

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Thanks for your replies. It doesn't hurt as bad as when I wrote the above, but I'm still struggling. It helps to see the words I wrote before to know where I was then and see that I've made some progress.

I don't really have anyone I could call. My partner wants to help but he doesn't understand my depression, so I can't really call him when I am that upset. But it definitely helps to have the community here.

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