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drift


Ralph

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I'm taking slightly better care of myself today, eating real food instead of junk and laying off the alcohol. I drank a lot this past week which probably explains my worsening depression. I tried to force myself to get busy and felt a little better but eventually I felt overwhelmed and had to lay down for a while. I hate not being able to get stuff done but evidently I needed to take a time out for sanity's sake. Lately I've been feeling down about life itself, not anything in particular. Everything seems to be pointless even though I don't have any real problems except for isolation.

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I'm not doing too well right now, but not that bad either. I had one night where I did a good job taking care of myself but after that I went back into drinking and not having any motivation. I do get some social activity in but it's just going out and talking to acquaintances. I don't have any close friends or meaningful interactions except when I video chat with my partner.

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I used to have a deep connection with nature when I lived in my home state, but now that I am in the desert, not so much. I miss the trees and tall grasses that I could always walk amongst when I was in undergrad. I don't connect as well with cactus and sand.

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