Hey Ralph, good job on dropping the booze, holding down a job, and the other positive things you got going on. 

I have not had a drink since last Thanksgiving and it has paid big dividends. Just feel so much better.  

I cannot function at all when I smoke pot, zero, nothing but I have friends that can and still do so I guess it effects people differently.  Do you have clarity of mind when you are stoned?  It made me so incredibly introverted and lethargic. That said it was fun at times. 

Thanks, and good job on 5 months off the sauce! I definitely do not have clarity of mind when stoned. That's what I like about it. I can still function in terms of walking talking, doing dishes, what have you, but I wouldn't want to be high at work. The reason I like it is I feel my mind goes way too fast at times, like an engine revving that is not in gear. So depressant drugs like alcohol or weed work to slow that down so I can get a rest. I don't like using drugs to do that though. I feel like I should be able to calm down through meditation or other techniques that don't mess with my brain chemistry quite so much.

Is there any nature where you are, Ralph? I find this really helps to quiet and calm my mind. Meditation and breathing are also helpful to me. What has helped you in the past?

Regarding pot being addictive...I would recommend trusting your instincts. You know yourself best.

It's great that things are otherwise going well for you.

It's hard for me to get out in nature because I don't have anyone to go with, but I made a new friend recently so maybe that will change this summer. There is a park nearby that has a duck pond. I find that to be quite soothing. I sometimes feel self conscious out in public alone, though. I worry that I look like some kind of creep being at a park without a family in tow. I could dispute that thought, though. Why should I think that anyone is even noticing me in the first place, and if they are, then who cares what they think about me? That is the attitude I would like to go out with.

Hope you get out to see those ducks, Ralph!  You could borrow a dog to walk  We have a rescue organization that recruits volunteers to walk dogs.

I found myself a lot more comfortable going out in nature when I could have a camera in front of my face.  :-)

Though for me, it was more that the camera made me focus (!) on what's out there, instead of having any attention left over to be self-conscious.  In a way, it gave me permission to ignore those other people, or to get mad at them, if necessary, for a "normal" reason, like "you're scaring stuff away" instead of "I'm afraid you're looking at me."

And, finally, it gave me "something to think about" that didn't induce anxiety, so my mind was busy still, but with innocuous things like "did I get the lighting right?"