well...today has been another horrible day. i really really really don't want to feel like this anymore. i'm tired of feeling. i'm tired of living. nothing makes me happy anymore, not even the things that used to make me happy. I'm scared. because i'm not so sure if there really is a way out of these feelings other than killing myself. i don't want to be like this forever. i don't want to be on my own or to be invisible anymore. i feel lonely all the time and noone wants me, not even me, and that's what hurts the most.