well, for what it's worth blossom, I want you around, you're my friend, even if I can only see you online.

thanks starry

Hey Blossom, it has been a while. I have to agree with smallstar, you are absolutely welcome here and we are here for you.

How about you give us a little update about how things are? Aren't you about to start your first step into university life?

hi kaudio, how are you? things aren't good right now. yeah i start sometime in september.

Did you get any good sleep, Blossom?

Oh Blossom's abandoned selffffffff.......... I have some pictures for you!!!! [we love you very much!!!]

those pictures are so sweet finding. thank you:)

How are you doing this evening, ladyblossom?

hi malign, i'm still feeling sad but not as bad as i felt earlier. how are you?

I got some things done today, partly by staying away from here for a while, so I feel pretty good. One of the things I'm trying to arrange is to get myself into therapy again.

How was zee work?

work was.....work.... it was very busy today and the customers were ruder than ever. our security man caught a woman shoplifting today and the police were called and she blamed it on her 8 yr old daughter who probably had nothing to do with it. it was sad. did you go to therapy before?

"Blamed it on her 8 yr old" ... I hope that comes with an extra criminal charge.

I went to therapy ...

1) for a month at 18 because I was forced to.

2) for five years or so starting when I was ... 24?

3) for two years starting in 2000, ended when my future wife objected

4) for about 9 months starting in 2007, not very productive because I didn't really want to face the problem.

Each time except the first, it helped me some. I just didn't give the last lady much of a chance ... Now that I can face the relationship problem I had, maybe I can put some of the reasons why I got into that relationship in order.

well that's good that you want to start again. that shows that you're a big brave dog!

Mmm, it takes a little bravery. But it's not what you think, perhaps.

It's not the talking to another person. I got over that in the first few sessions of the first therapy (it was difficult at first.) Longer term, though, the real hard part is facing yourself.

We put a lot of diversions into our brains to keep from facing the things we don't want to, about ourselves. Obviously, we resist looking directly at those diversions and barriers, because seeing them forces us to realize that we could do things other ways. It can be embarrassing to find that the problem has been in the way you've been handling things all these years. But like 'finding' says, you have to respect that you did the best you could, back when you put the barrier in place, and just look forward to removing it.

You're probably braver than I am, sweety. [You still dare to look at 'finding's veggie pictures ...]

nah, you are brave than me malign! if i were braver, i'd be in therapy by now. i don't think i'd be able to talk to another person face to face about myself.

Sweety, in your case you'd have to fight you-know-who on top of your own anxieties ... I couldn't have done it.

I would suggest you try it, when you get off to school by yourself. Just go and meet the therapist, tell them you hate life or whatever, tell them about the feelings of vegetables, it doesn't matter. See if you like them. Some of the therapists I've met are hard not to talk to. :-)

maybe.. i'll see. i want to get settled into the college before i do anything though. and i don't want anyone to find out about it..

School counselors shouldn't be able to talk to anyone else about you. You're legally an adult.

no i mean what if someone sees me going into wherever the therapy place is?

"Blossom, why did you go in there?"

"I was lost and I went in to ask directions"?

That's if "Kiss my rear" isn't the appropriate response. :-)

oh good one!!

Meh. "It's none of your business" is a perfectly reasonable answer. Because it's true.

yeah you're right! did you ever tell anyone that you went to therapy?

Some people. My family knew. A few close friends.

And when I went into the hospital, I kinda had to tell work why I took 9 days off. ;-)

that was brave. see you are a big brave dog!