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today started out bad. i felt really really sad but then i went to therapy and it made me feel better. the therapy lady spoke more today instead of staring at me and saying nothing like the last time. i think i'm glad i started therapy. my next appointment is monday.

i'm a little sad now but that's only because i'm sooooooooo tired. i wish i didn't have to go home tomorrow.


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Hey Blossom,

Im pleased that therapy felt easier for you today. Sorry you are starting to feel low again. You need to try and get some rest hun. leave your project for now its like 3am, you can do more of it tomorrow.

I know you dont like going home. You will be ok. ykw can just "moo off"

Were here for you hun and we all love ya, but please try get some rest.

take care


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my hands are sooooooo sore today. i was so sleepy last night when i was doing it that i somehow managed to cut my hand with the pliers thingy instead of the wire...ouch..

i think they have to take out his eye.

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Hah, sorry: it was at your noon, not my noon. :-)

You fooled me by saying you got it done just in time, and you said it at 11:30, my time.

It looked like a shoe in whose end? ;-)

I'm glad it worked out; I know you worked very hard on it.

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Sometimes I got homework, but it depends on what type of therapy your T is trying. When you think about it, though, an hour a week, or so, isn't where most of the changes are going to happen. It's the rest of the time, where you apply therapy to your everyday life. It might mean taking a few risks, like talking to people sober, or whatever. ;-)

My poem is sitting there looking at me sadly and wondering how it ever got such a helpless author. :-)

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How could I have possibly guessed what your homework might be? :-) But of course, schoolwork comes first. I guess you don't have the option to go out on weekends? Maybe you could suggest a night out for you and your cousin?

Could you tell my poem that? It thinks all my rhymes are clumsy, and it's important to me to do this well. It's kinda for my mother.

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she told me to go out even if i had lots of work to do and i promised..

i have therapy again on monday.

she was nicer yesterday

yeah i could go out tomorrow night but i don't really want to.

MARKY'S POEM: Marky is an amaaaaaaaaaZZing writer!!!!!:mad:!!! i bet your rhymes aren't clumsy! anyway poems don't have to rhyme

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Thank you, sweety. :-)

Mine do: I'm old-fashioned. But I'll try and work on it some more today.

{I heard that the therapy went better; I'm glad. We can talk about it, but only if you want.}

{I've never actually seen an angry therapist, so I don't know if that will happen. It just might make you do something differently next time, either not promise or think about the promise more. It all depends on how you feel about promising, I guess.}

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she didn't stare as much this time and the window was open so i just looked out the window instead of her the whole time:) she's trying to get me to cry though. and she wanted me to go to the dr but i said no.

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How do you know she's trying to get you to cry, she's cutting up onions? :-)

You know, there was a time in my life when the entire idea of crying was just completely incredible to me. Now, when I let myself feel (which still isn't all that often), I almost like it. It tells me what's important to me, inside. I don't usually get in touch with that, you see. Now, it happens almost daily onsite, here. :-) I see it as a good thing, it means I'm human.

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she told me.. because i don't cry properly anymore. usually when i feel like crying only about 1 tear comes out. that's all. i told her my tear ducts are dried out..i cried properly for the first time in ages the other night though.

whoops... we don't mean to make ya cry...:(

i gotta go to work in a minute...:)

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I didn't know there was a proper way to cry, I just thought it happened! :-) And I don't usually let it all the way out, either (I'm often in my office; that's no place to break down.) But the problem is that you're looking at crying as a bad thing. I don't want anyone to not tell me something, just so I won't cry. Crying can be good for you, and it is definitely an appropriate response to some of the stories I hear.

You know, whenever my wife would call me names, I would just look at her, like, "So?" That was how I defended myself, because I knew that if I reacted, she would just keep doing it. Do you think you not crying is a similar thing, to convince yourself and YKW that it doesn't hurt?

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