hi marky.

i keep apologizing because i'm sorry:(

thanks for being my friends.

i'm not sure what i was scared of..

Hey sweety.

So, okay, what are you sorry for? What would you do differently next time? Once you have some ideas, then you can forgive yourself and know that you're prepared for next time.

As for being scared, can I help by guessing?

You were alone at the time, is that what scares you?

You were drinking at the time, does something about that scare you?

You were ... ginger at the time, could that be it? ;-)

You see what I'm trying to say? I bet you can track at least some part of your fear.

i'm sorry for being sorry!

i'm sorry for not being able to spell properly:(

i'm sorry for whining:(

i'm sorry for being too drunk:(

i'm sorry that ye all had to listen to me

yeah i was on my own and didn't want to be on my own.

and lots of thoughts were going through my head really fast and i kept thinking about what a mess i've made of my life and i might never be able to fix it. i might be stuck like this forever and i don't want that:( i'd rather be dead.

and i'm sorry for being ginger..

Meh. You're not stuck "like this": you're completely different from yesterday. That's the beauty of the whole "new day" thing. :-P

So, okay, based on that particular list of "sorry's", there's a corresponding list of changes to be made next time:

Next time, don't be sorry.

Next time, learn to spell. ;-)

Next time, no whining.

Next time, don't drink so much.

Next time, ask us first whether we want to listen, so we won't "have to" if we don't want to. {But if we want to, then you don't get to be sorry.}

What could you change, so you don't have to be alone next time?

What could you change, so that you don't let your mind run away and start to tell you horrible things?

What could you change, so you won't be stuck?

What can you change, so you would want to live instead of die?

We only fail when we give up and stop trying.

i'm not completely different from yesterday:(

i'm still the same.

i can barely move today, i'm so sore from the stupid gym:(

i can't change anything. i'll always be alone.

You're not drunk any more.

You're not as scared, or lonely, or ...

You're more sore, you're more talkative, and ...

Every minute is different, sweety. We change, even without trying.

yeah but my thoughts are still the same and my feelings are still the same. they never change.

i really am in a lot of pain..don't think i'll be going back to the gym for a while.....:eek:

So, your thoughts aren't the same as yesterday!

Yesterday, you thought you would go back to the gym. :-)

Yeah, I didn't walk today, either, partly so my body can get used to this whole exercise concept.

hmmmmmm.

i'm going to a dvd party later.

why is exercise so painful marky?

Well, too much is painful, when your muscles aren't used to it. They're out of practice, in a way.

But the pain does go away with practice. It's just easier to overdo it when you're not doing it regularly.

must've done too much then:(

how are you today marky?

Well, I had a hard time getting up, then I had a vivid dream about my mother, not her death but a random conversation that I don't remember ever happened. Then I spilled milk and cereal on the carpet and splashed a wall. By the way, once the cereal has softened in the milk, it's very hard to get out of the carpet. Then I was late to work, and there's a rush assignment due in three hours, never mind that I've been idle for days.

I feel like I have your headache. :-)

oh.. that's a really strange dream to have...

i hope you're ok.

i had a strange dream too. i was at a festival in a graveyard.

do you keep a dream journal?

i'm sorry your cereal spilt...

i spilt lots of alcohol last night too.

and some girl we don't even know came into our house last night and puked all over the carpet:(

and that sucks about the assignment. you should really stop talking to me:)

Her puke probably wouldn't have been easier to clean if you knew who she was. :-)

It was a strange dream. Verrry realistic, but she wanted to talk about how it was hard for her little Shih Tzu dog to get up and down the stairs and out the door. Odd sort of message from beyond, since the dog died years ago. But it sort of made me feel like I was with her again, and miss her, at the same time. I'm okay, I'm just left wondering what it was about.

I heard you say you spilt some drink on your clothes. Did you get the stains out?

And yeah, I probably should go work, but I wanted to talk to you and see that you were okay. Priorities, you know. ;-)

Watch out for Sue for me. Her first treatment is today.

well, we do know who she is, she lives a few houses down from us but we've never spoken to her before so dunno why she was in our house..

whoa..that is strange..

i'm sorry.

i forgot to check if it left stains in my clothes...oops..

thanks for talking to me marrrrrrky:)

will you be back later?

i hope Jj is ok:(

i'm not sure how long i'll be here for tonight because i'm going away but i'll try help if i can.

I like talking to you, sweety. You make me smile.

I will try to be back, but it'll be a few hours, probably.

We're all pulling for JJ. And if she forgets us, we'll just have to remind her. ;-)

Where ya goin' away to? {It's okay, I'm sure someone will be here. But she does like you; I think you're like a little sister for her.}

I THINK I'M GETTING MY FIRST WISDOM TOOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooo! Now you'll be wise! :-)

Does it hurt? They yanked all four of mine around your age.

it's ok i don't think i'm going away anymore!!!

we were supposed to be going to someone's house for a dvd night.

well, she's like a big sister to meeeeeeee:)

she won't really forget us will she?

how come you're still wise??

it doesn't really hurt.. i think it's a wisdom tooth anyway.. well, there's something growing in my mouth..:eek: everyone always says how badly they hurt..

hmmmm.

why did they pull out yours?

i hope i don' t have to get mine pulled out:(

I doubt it. She said that, last time, she did lose some recent memories. But she has been here for months, and she did leave herself a note, just in case.

I'll be happy so long as she forgets some of her horrible memories, because if she does, maybe she doesn't need us so much.

oh.

that's scary.

i hope it helps her.

Must be something in my food. :-P

My first two had come through, and that hurt a little. But the other two weren't going to make it, so they took all four. My upper jaw is too small for my lower one, so it messed up how the back teeth would have fit. On top, there probably would never have been enough room.

It didn't hurt too much, for me, but there was some healing time for the gums.

ouch...

a girl i work with got hers pulled out and she said it was horrific:(

i hope mine don't make my teeth crooked:(