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my wisdom tooth kinda hurts..:(


Blossom

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i'm not sure why everything is so confusing. everything's mixed up inside me and it doesn't make sense and i know i keep saying the same thing over and over and over but i don't know what to do because nothing's getting better. no matter where i go or what i do i feel sad. even when i do feel a little happy it somehow turns into sad. i'm never completely happy. everywhere i go i feel so out of place and i have nowhere to go. noone wants me and it hurts. noone gets me:mad:

i think i've realised something though.

i think i'm scared of getting to know people. when i was small i had a best friend, she's my next door neighbour at home, and we did everything together and we wore the same clothes and went to each other's houses everyday and played and everyone thought we were twins even though i was ginger and she wasn't . we were best friends for about 10 years i think and then she dumped me to hang out with another girl in our class and they became a twosome. i was so sad. it's not such a big deal now though because i've realized we don't have anything in common anymore. it was a big deal for me at the time though. i'm not sure why i'm even talking about this. She's the only 'best friend' i ever had. i've had lots of other friends but they weren't my "best friends".. i dunno what the difference between a "friend" and a "best friend" are. it was just important to have a best friend at the time and mine dumped me so it sucked..

out of the two of us she was always the decision maker and i kinda depended on her a lot so when she left me i was kinda lost:( then ykw kept annoying me about it saying it's my own fault she stopped hanging out with me because i'm stupid and boring. she kept comparing me to the other girl and saying maybe if i was more like her maybe i'd have more friends. i hate when she compares me to people. it makes me so angry:mad:

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All kinds of things aren't right about yer childhood!!! Having that best friend for a while maybe made up for not having love in your family. Your mom had no right to say those things about you, and she is not right to undermine you in so many ways.:mad::mad:

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hey finding, it's ok it felt normal at the time.

I DON'T WANT WISDOM TEETH ANYMORE:(:):(

i couldn't sleep properly last night. i only fell asleep an hour before i had to be awake:( but i had a strange dream about a cat. i keep dreaming about cats.

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hmmm i don't really want to go back to college..

the girl who's drawing the pigs head is right across from me and it's getting all mouldy and disgusting and it makes me feel sick and it smells really nasty:( i think i'll go to the gym later.

maybe i'll come home from college early.

hmmm.

i'm really irritable today.

hmmmm.

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it's sooooooooooo cooooooooooold outside!!!!!!!

and raining and there's puddles everywhere and i don't want to get wet:(

my umbrella blew inside out with the wind and broke this morning:(

hmmmmmm.

ireland.

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hey Jj!!!

sorry i had to go back to college earlier and didn't see your comment til now.

that's cool that you got to go outside:)!!

its really really windy and cold here aswel and my umbrella blew inside out and broke and i got all wet:(

i'm ok, how are you?

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Blossom, sweety, it's precisely because it "felt normal at the time" that it hurt you so much. It still feels normal to you to believe that you're bad ...

And all the rest of us telling you that not only are you not bad, but it's way far from normal to tell your own child such things, and you still have a hard time hearing and believing us.

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oh yiiiiiikes marky we posted at the same timmmmmmmmmme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

i know now that it's not normal but at the time i didn't know that it was wrong. i thought everyone's mothers were like that. do you like red bull? it's making me really smiley and hyper:) i think i've found my new diet coke:):(

i''''''''''''''''''m cooooooooooovered in paint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well, there's nothing like a reaaaaalllyyyyy speedy brave dogg. Yeah, Red Bull will do that to a person. Wait 'til after you slow down again before you decide if you like it. :-)

Who covered you in paint?

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RED BULLLLLLLLLLLLL GIVVVVVVVVES YOUUUUUU WIIIIIIIINGGGGS:D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but it's not alcohol though?

i found a can in my bag today but i'm not sure how it got there:) so i drank it:)

I COVERED ME IN PAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

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OHHHHHHHHHH...........

NOOOOOOOOO IT'S PAINT MARKYY:)

MY TUTOR CAAAAAME OVER TO MEEE TO LOOOOK AT MY WORRRRRRRRRRK TODAY AND ALL SHE SAAAAAAAID WAS I HOPPPPPPPPPE THAT PAIIIIIIIINT COMMMMMMMMES OFF.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOPS.

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RED BULL:)

BUT I THINK IT'S WEARING OFF...

I'M KINDA ANGRY WITH MYSELF..

I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE TO USE THE LIBRARY FOR MY ESSAY BUT THEN I SAID I'D DO SOME AT HOME TONIGHT INSTEAD AND GO TO THE LIBRARY TOMORROW EVENING BUT I'VE JUST REMEMBERED IT CLOSES AT 5 TOMORROW:(

HMMMMM.

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