i wish i knew why she hates me so much.

i don't know what i've done wrong but maybe i can fix it?

maybe i can change so that she won't hate me so much.

i'm sorry i'm not perfect enough:(

i'll try harder but that probably won't be good enough either.

i'm sorry. i don't mean to be an embarrassment. i wish i didn't make you look bad and i wish i wasn't such a big disappointment.

i'm sorry that i've messed up your life so much. i didn't mean to be bad. if i could i'd disappear and then everyone could have peace again and everyone might be happier.

she says i'm good for nothing and i'm stupid and a waste of time and fat and ugly and she wants me to disappear. she wishes she never had to see my ugly face again. i'm always in the way. i'm sorry. she calls me "her" instead of by my name and she never talks directly to me. she just talks about me when she knows i'm listening. i wish i could fix it.

i wish i could really disappear. forever. don't want to live.

she won't leave me alone. she's outside my door now talking about me. i don't want to do this anymore:( i don't want to be on my own. they're all mad at me.

Sweetheart this is just plain mean and VERY VERY wrong:mad::mad:

i should be used to it by now.

There is nothing that is OK about this treatment, and nothing that about it that you should get used to.:mad: I know this is what you have known all your life, but you need to know that it is wrong, OK? I'm so sorry you are in this situation.:(

i'm not sure why she'd say all this stuff unless it was true.

OH NO!!!! Ye are under her spell:mad::mad:

It might be time for these guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish......

Are these enough guys????

i think so..

will they really save me?

ANYTHING that breaks her spell will save you sweetie!

All you have to do is create a teensy space inside your situation, and let it be real and let it grow.

Without it, you are totally washed away into the dominance of your mother's ways.

SHE IS WRONG, and we will help you in any way we can to shake you out of that trance. These boys are looking out from their photo, and they don't believe your moma for one darn second.

Do you see what I mean?????

but what if the stuff she says is true? maybe i really am stupid and a waste of time and fat and ugly? maybe she's just telling me the truth!

That is how she's got you. You doubt yourself and turn against yourself and she gets to put all her mean stuff into you.

Sweetie, this is all so crazy! For the sake of argument, let's take a family where the daughter is overweight and not conventionally beautiful and not quick witted. I work with children that would fit that category. Would a real loving, caring mother get down on her daughter for any of those things? NO! She would love her daughter and care for her and they would have good times together!!!! Her argument to you makes no sense at all. She is not being a loving mother, she is being mean, and she is wrapping you in confusion to take you down, [and it is making me flippin' mad:mad::mad:]

i'm sorry.

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. My being mad is my remembering what it is like.

i'm sorry you had to deal with stuff like this too. i'm sorry for reminding you of what it's like. i didn't mean to make you feel bad.

That is sweet Blossomy, and that is another example of how you are not like your mother. You are not a bully.

Now you just need a way to break her spell.

i don't think i can

hey blossom and finding

knock, knock

just popped in to say hi

I know you are feeling overpowered. You've been living with it so long. There IS a way though, there always is. Even if it is the most teensy looking step, there is a way.

i'm too tired to find a way. just want to sleep and never wake up.

hey Jj.

It is exhausting, sweetie,, SO exhausting.

yeah. i hate the way she talks to me. i can hear the hate in her voice. it makes me sad that she hates me.