aww thanks starry!

STILLLL AWAAAAAAKE:D

halfway through paaaaaaaage 8!!!

i know i'm doing all this real fast but my drawings don't look so bad..

now it's 48 minutes past 4, no wait 49 minutes past 4 and i'm kinda dead i think. well, i got 8 a2 pages done in my sketch book tonight so maybe i'll just go to bed now even though i said i'd stay up all night but it's nearly morning anyway and maybe ykw will be in a good mood tomorrow and let me use the table god i'm finding it kinda hard to spell i have to keep correcting my words i feel like i'm in a dream!!!!!

awww i'm going to bed:)

that's like 7 hours of art in a row isn't it?

i only just woke up a few minutes ago. i feel kinda not so great. my hearing is half gone...dunno what happened, i've got a headache even though i got like 9 hours of sleep and i'm sooooooooo dizzy. maybe it's not the best idea to stay up all night. when i got up the first thing ykw said to me was that i should've been up early doing my art. i felt like telling her to shut up. apparently i'm not supposed to sleep atall, just do art 24 hours a day, even if i had got up earlier she wouldn'tve let me use the table.

she's shouting at me. i just want her to stop.

oh, i'm sorry blossom, that sucks

it's ok i should be used to it by now.

yeah it doesn't get easier though, unfortunately.

i know:( i hate being shouted at. she keeps telling me i look like crap aswel.

wow, that's mature. I know it's not easy, but try to ignore her as much as you can.

yeah i'm trying but i really don't like being shouted at. i know what she's like she'll keep insulting me and shouting at me until i say something back and then she'll turn it around on me. that''s what she does

yeah I know blossom, I got screamed at for 20 minutes last night like I'm a little freaking kid and if I were to so much as look at him the wrong way it would only get worse. I know that it's hardly possible, but try not to give her the satisfaction, that's what she wants, try not to give it to her.

i'm sorry starry you didn't need that after everything last night:(

yeah whatever it's life

I hope she leaves you alone blossom you don't need it eitherr, nobody does really

yeah. i hate how careful i have to be when i'm home.

well yeah, it makes it hard to exist when you can't ever relax.

In fact, it's a form of psychological torture, similar to brain-washing.

How well does being careful and tense work, though? How sure are you that you're making the situation better?

It would be hard to deal with, if you found that you had put in all that effort and work, and the person would have acted exactly the same way without it.

well from my experience I can tell you it doesn't work very well at all, it still sucks no matter what you do, but I think it would be too hard to force yourself not to be tense, I don't know if that is something that a person can control. I think it's important to at least try to be careful, but that's just me, and I'm sure I;'m doing it wrong so don't listen to me.

Well yeah, it is hard not to tense up; that's the torture part.

But does it help you to realize that you're not affecting the outcome, though? I mean, you know it's not your fault if nothing you do really changes things. So, no matter what the person says, and we know they blame it all on someone else, at least you know they're wrong about that. No one else can change it; only they can. That means it's not your fault, either of you.

i don't know:(

I know, sweety. I'm sure she's very convincing.

She's wrong, though.

just want to bang my head off something real hard.

hmm, I like to bang my head too, but that probably won't help with the headache.