last night right before i went to bed i tried to meditate. it didn't really work though.. i just couldn't get into it. hmmm. maybe i just need to keep practicing..!

i'm a little bored today:)

it is really hard to stay positive when you're not naturally a positive person...i am trying though. i feel like doing something fun but i'm stuck at home.. i think maybe it's time i learnt how to drive...

The fact that you are trying IS POSITIVE, means that you are possitive, never give up trying lil sis

take care

hey, thanks Jj. i hope you're doing ok. i think you're really brave.

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING. but the angels won't let me. i'm so frustrated right now.. i'm trying to get my america visa sorted out because the people i'm going with have already booked theirs and they are booking flights this week.

looks like i'm not going to america anymore.

Why not? We let in lots of ladybugs.

because it's expensive. very expensive. i probably have enough money to go. i just won't have any money when i come home and i'll probably lose my job so it makes sense to just stay home.

Ah. Well, that's a decision based on reasonable reasons.

I was afraid they weren't letting any more big brave doggs in, or something.

Is it the traveling or where they were planning to stay, that's breaking the bank? There might be alternatives available.

no it's just everything. just a big disaster that's not going to work but never mind. i'll just spend another wonderful summer at home.

Sweety, if it's the friends who've fallen through, you know you have friends over here, too.

There has to be a better way than staying home the whole time.

no the people i was supposed to go with are still going.

Well, it's difficult to know how to help when what's wrong is "everything". :-)

Would it help to talk about what changed?

nothing can help so there's no point talking about it anymore.

"Nothing" can help "everything", so try "something". :-)

I'm sorry, sweety.

it's ok it doesn't matter.

tomorrow i'm going back to my old college again. my art tutors told me to come back for the day so that i can try get inspired again before going back to college next week.

What a good idea!

And very sweet of them ... I would say that you have more friends than you think you do, Blossomy.

uh huh.

i have lots of friends at home. it's just in college i have none.

i am a little scared though.

your be ok, they are your friends, no need to be scared hun

what are you scared of ?

i'm just scared because when i come home i'll get sad all over again..

Why does your mood have to match your surroundings, ladyblossom?

Can you take the memory of how you feel in the good times, and carry it around with you, to help with the bad ones?

because i dunno..

maybe.. but i'll be sad still because i miss it.

[you need protection when you're "home"]