Small Penis Syndrome vs. Small Penis vs. Wanting a Bigger Penis

[LostBoy]

I was discussing this in a different thread and decided to start a thread of its own.

There is a wide variety of people on this forum who have a wide definition of SPS. I'm curious what others think defines SPS vs. Just having a small penis vs. Just having an average size penis but wanting to be larger.

My personal opinion is that you can have a small penis or an average penis and want to be larger without having SPS.

I also believe SPS is that "next level" where you obsess over your size, where you are socially impacted due to your feelings over your size, or where you are unable to live a "normal" life due to your feelings over your size. SPS drives mental struggles and limits you.

BDD (which SPS is a form of) is defined as a preoccupation with one or more imagined defects in ones appearance.

I somewhat disagree with this definition because my defect isn't imagined so, by definition, that means I don't have SPS.

I'm curious what others think about this topic.

 

[peter]

As its says SPS its a mental illness so if you have a normal penis and you in you mind think it small then you have SPS.

I have been measused at Kings hospital in the studies they did and my penis is normal but in my mind its not and i am obsessed with my size no matter what people say to me it still small in my head.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexualitytoday/201106/when-size-obsession-gets-out-hand?amp

 

 

 

[YOTH]

I think it's true that there is a clear distinction between actual SPS and thinking you're small, I only wish the internet and this forum were around when I was a teenager, I think my life would of been easier. But I never felt average growing up, I felt tiny. I couldn't even imagine anyone being smaller than me. And once your friends have something to take piss out of you with, you start to indentify with it. Statistically, I'm average. But it sometimes feels like that information came way too late. And because of my body shape etc, I look like there's nothing there. That always got me more than anything else. And I wondered whether life would be easier if I was smaller but people couldn't tell one way or the other. I'm aware of my size and how some people would kill to have it, but I guess the damage was done long ago. Also, SPS isn't the only condition a lot of people have in here. They have other mental issues from abuse/bullying etc that manifest themselves in the thing we're most embarrassed by. In my case, my shrinking dick. I'd love a place to show you how drastically it changes, it's amazing. I fully admit and recognise that people a similar size to me are neurotic and others are genuinely small whatever statistics you look at. But a lot of the time when people talk about their size like it's fine, it's not. It's just kind of hard to whine on about 5.5 when someone is 2-3. I just try to support and the guys here and take their support in equal amounts. Again, There obviously is a distinction, but we're all hanging from the rafters by a metaphorical cock. 

[Sea182018]

Considering I was the one who kind of launched this debate on the other thread I felt like I should chime in.  By reading this forum I have educated myself and have realized that I am average by statistics but because of society I have felt tiny my entire life.  It caused me to try everything to try and get bigger and nothing has worked.  It has caused me to have confidence issues with even my own wife.  The lack of confidence has also caused slight erection issues which have got better.  Coming to this website and posting and reading has made me realize that I don’t belong on this website.  My issues are not what you have to deal with.  My issues are more of me getting over myself and realizing that having a 5.75/4.5 inch dick is not the end of the world or even close.   Am I ever going to impress a girl  when I drop my pants ?  No, but with proper technique I can impress her other ways.  But I am glad I came on this website because it showed me that I just need to get over it,  but It also opened my eyes to the real struggles that some men (and women) have.   I appreciate you all sharing your stories.  I know it’s not much,  but they changed my thinking and I hope and pray that in the upcoming years things like that supposed procedure on the other thread come true and that men can some day have procedures as common as women getting breast enhancements.   

[Griz]

As another part of the reason this thread got posted, I feel like I should explain myself as well. For one, never ever would I want to offend anyone or try to make a plight for anyone. My issues are mental, 100%. Ever since the early part of my teenage years, I had assumed I was small. I never sought finding averages because I didn’t want to be disappointed. I am shorter height for a guy(5’6) so I assumed that meant having a small penis came along with it. My parents never gave us kids “the talk” but just gave us a letter saying there were books to go look at if we were to have any questions. I was a late bloomer to everything sexually. Masturbation, I didn’t start till I was 15, and that was by accident. I didn’t lose my virginity till 22. Had a blowjob at like 19 I think. From my sort of “gf” I guess you could say. After we broke up, she told a mutual friend of ours at the time that I was small. I’ve had numerous times that I was told I was small, just based on my height and without them even seeing my penis. So, even though I can read the tape measure, I still manifest in my head I’m not big enough. I’ve gone to therapy for it. I’ve tried talking about it with a couple friends and my current gf. I stopped with my gf cause she got annoyed of how obsessive I was about it always. 

This place I figured I could get things out cause maybe people would understand. And I’m sure you guys do get it. But maybe I don’t belong here. 

If I have caused anyone any discomfort it honestly wasn’t my intention. I know you are all trying to help one another and have talked with me as I have tried to fit in. 

[LostBoy]

Hello @Griz and @Sea182018, I appreciate your feedback and contribution to this topic as well as the forum. I did not start this thread because of anything you guys did. When @Small and I got off topic in your thread, starting a new one was just the "right" thing to do versus hijacking yours.

I am intrigued by the differences in people's realities. I do not consider myself to be delusional (I have a very small penis and know it) so maybe I dont belong here if a sense of delusion is a requirement for SPS. Heck, maybe none of us belong here because just by being here we've faced some form of reality.

My "gut check" test for the integrity of members of this community is that this place isn't easy to find, it has no pornography, and the conversations are fairly boring unless you sincerely feel you have a small cock. Based on these facts, if you are a regular here then I have to assume you have either an external or an internal struggle in which your are dealing (I'm sure some people struggles are tougher than others).

I'm sure there are people who have joined just to troll or to proclaim/brag how horribly small their 7" cock is but these people don't stick around long.

[LostBoy]

13 hours ago, YOTH said:

I think it's true that there is a clear distinction between actual SPS and thinking you're small

I agree. At least half of all men (and probably more) think that they are small or smaller but this doesn't equal SPS.

As I mentioned before, I believe SPS results in some form of handicap or mental impact. Personally, I am OCD about measuring, I have social anxiety because I feel like everyone around me knows how small i am, I refuse to let others see me nude (even doctors), I go through mental swings where I feel like Im not deserving of my wife due to my pathetic size, I get "hooked" on male pornography just to see what "real men" look like, and the list can go on and on.

Maybe I don't really have SPS but it sure feels like I do.

[Klingsor]

All I know is what I feel,

what I feel is all that's real.

Yo

[peter]

On 28/03/2018 at 1:57 AM, lostboy1 said:

Hello @Griz and @Sea182018, I appreciate your feedback and contribution to this topic as well as the forum. I did not start this thread because of anything you guys did. When @Small and I got off topic in your thread, starting a new one was just the "right" thing to do versus hijacking yours.

I am intrigued by the differences in people's realities. I do not consider myself to be delusional (I have a very small penis and know it) so maybe I dont belong here if a sense of delusion is a requirement for SPS. Heck, maybe none of us belong here because just by being here we've faced some form of reality.

My "gut check" test for the integrity of members of this community is that this place isn't easy to find, it has no pornography, and the conversations are fairly boring unless you sincerely feel you have a small cock. Based on these facts, if you are a regular here then I have to assume you have either an external or an internal struggle in which your are dealing (I'm sure some people struggles are tougher than others).

I'm sure there are people who have joined just to troll or to proclaim/brag how horribly small their 7" cock is but these people don't stick around long.

We all belong here as we have problems We all think we are small even if we are not. Life can deal us a very bad hand in life,

 

[Helpless_loner]

I've read my length 5.5 inches bpel (in a good day) can be considered average, however I seriously lack in the girth department  with my (again, in a good day) of 4.3 inches....

 

I truly wish for a longer and wider penis. The sad thing is I just don't want THAT much, one inch in length and 0.75 of girth could get out  of this everlasting depression of mine.

[RonaldU]

For me it has to do with my flaccid size, which is in fact very small. It's a body image issue for me more than a sexual thing.

[PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero]

On 3/27/2018 at 3:22 AM, LostBoy said:

I also believe SPS is that "next level" where you obsess over your size, where you are socially impacted due to your feelings over your size, or where you are unable to live a "normal" life due to your feelings over your size. SPS drives mental struggles and limits you.

I agree 100 percent.

[Wayless]

On 3/27/2018 at 7:46 AM, YOTH said:

I think it's true that there is a clear distinction between actual SPS and thinking you're small, I only wish the internet and this forum were around when I was a teenager, I think my life would of been easier. But I never felt average growing up, I felt tiny. I couldn't even imagine anyone being smaller than me. And once your friends have something to take piss out of you with, you start to indentify with it. Statistically, I'm average. But it sometimes feels like that information came way too late. And because of my body shape etc, I look like there's nothing there. That always got me more than anything else. And I wondered whether life would be easier if I was smaller but people couldn't tell one way or the other. I'm aware of my size and how some people would kill to have it, but I guess the damage was done long ago. Also, SPS isn't the only condition a lot of people have in here. They have other mental issues from abuse/bullying etc that manifest themselves in the thing we're most embarrassed by. In my case, my shrinking dick. I'd love a place to show you how drastically it changes, it's amazing. I fully admit and recognise that people a similar size to me are neurotic and others are genuinely small whatever statistics you look at. But a lot of the time when people talk about their size like it's fine, it's not. It's just kind of hard to whine on about 5.5 when someone is 2-3. I just try to support and the guys here and take their support in equal amounts. Again, There obviously is a distinction, but we're all hanging from the rafters by a metaphorical cock. 

Penis size, in my view, is rationally viewed as a handicap relative to the situation including the needs of the particular partner and the competition for said partner.  It is healthy to be somewhat unhappy about a severe handicap.  The very large have a handicap too in that many women don't want to deal with the very large.  It is all relative.  Failure to adjust to a handicap is when SPS exists. BDD is when you have and unrealistic estimate of your handicap.  Think of handicaps in a Golf League or trying to play basketball when short.  These are my opinion often not accepted by the "authorities" who have their own agenda as YOTH so capably explained in another thread.

[LostBoy]

On 5/13/2018 at 5:05 AM, lloydbaker said:

Penis size, in my view, is rationally viewed as a handicap relative to the situation including the needs of the particular partner and the competition for said partner.  It is healthy to be somewhat unhappy about a severe handicap.  The very large have a handicap too in that many women don't want to deal with the very large.  It is all relative.  Failure to adjust to a handicap is when SPS exists. BDD is when you have and unrealistic estimate of your handicap.  Think of handicaps in a Golf League or trying to play basketball when short.  These are my opinion often not accepted by the "authorities" who have their own agenda as YOTH so capably explained in another thread.

In an earlier post I referenced having a small penis as a handicap and was taken out of context in what I meant but I do agree that a small penis is a physical handicap. The definition of a handicap is "a condition that markedly restricts a person's ability to function physically, mentally, or socially".

My small penis restricts what I can do. It restricts my ability to provide my wife pleasure through penetration, it restricts the positions in which I can successfully have sex, it restricts my ability to easily sit and pee in the toilet, and it restricts me mentally.

[Wayless]

On ‎5‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 8:45 PM, LostBoy said:

In an earlier post I referenced having a small penis as a handicap and was taken out of context in what I meant but I do agree that a small penis is a physical handicap. The definition of a handicap is "a condition that markedly restricts a person's ability to function physically, mentally, or socially".

My small penis restricts what I can do. It restricts my ability to provide my wife pleasure through penetration, it restricts the positions in which I can successfully have sex, it restricts my ability to easily sit and pee in the toilet, and it restricts me mentally.

I don't substantially disagree, but like to use the sports definition which is purely relative.  Handicaps can be overcome.  For instance, a shorter basketball pro can learn to shoot from the outside.  That doesn't mean his height isn't a handicap.

All "STIGMA" can be removed from the  word handicap, though it has become a politically incorrect term with a lot a stigma baggage (for no reason).  It means the same as "challenged", approximately.

There is no reason to restrict the definition of handicap to "markedly restricts". . . . .  The dictionary meaning in the sports sense is relative:  relative to the particular activity to be undertaken and the competition.