Hello everyone! [TRIGGER ALERT concerning SPS]

[MrsA]

New to the forum... was googling some self help article about a situation that keeps bothering me and thank God I found this. Is one of those things that you can’t  simply talk about with anyone. I truly feel this will help. Thanks! 

[Smallbeans]

Hey @MrsA  welcome to the forum. There are many people here who will happily help you. Me included. 

No matter what your problem is people here will help. 

I really hope you find a solution to your problem  

[LaLa]

Hello, MrsA, welcome!  

How would you describe the situation that's been bothering you?

[MrsA]

Thanks so much to you both. So I’m 31 years old and recently got married. I had been happily married for 7 months now and apart from financial struggles and my issue we are really happy with each other. My problem is that I keep thinking about how unhappy I’m about his penies’ size. I mean I knew it and really thought I could deal with it and adjust like I have, but I keep having dreams about exes or just wishing it was what I really like. He is great in bed, a very pleasant lover and in fact the second man that I can actually orgasm with. 

 

I feel ashamed to even feel this way because he is been a blessing to me. He is aware to some sort that he wasn’t my type and that I prefer a larger size but he was willing to show me he was enough and indeed he has but I still feel that I missed what I used to like. He even bought toys and things to try to please me. He tried an extender but I felt uncomfortable because I felt as if I was having sex with someone else. Just to give you a little more info. I was exposed to porn at an very early age so that set the bar kind of high for me, and since i started experimenting with sex I  always prefer thick and 7-8 inches, 6 was tops for me in terms of how low i was willing to go. At some point when I wasn’t this mature it was a total deal breaker for me. I’m a big and thick girl and having a man with a big size was just like common sense to me. But once things got serious I decided to choose happiness and love over looks and size. That’s how I convinced myself. I felt guilty letting him go just for his size. In fact I did broke up with him about 3 times for the same issue but we will go back and try again and things would get easier. My husbands hides inside of him completely when Is not erected, which freaks me out,  and with an erection is 3 - 4 tops in good days. It’s not thick but not thin either is fine. What would be your advise? Should I seek profesional help? Thanks for your time. 

[Smallbeans]

@MrsA I hope even just writing down your problem helps even a little bit. You can’t help the way you feel and should not feel ashamed. 

My question is if he can make you orgasm then isn’t his penis good enough? Unless it’s orgasm without penetration. 

The fact he is willing to use toys and extenders shows how much he loves you and wants you to be happy I think. 

At the end of the day you should always choose what makes you happy. That’s my policy. It’s a lot easier said than done though. 

[MrsA]

Thanks so much! And yes it does ever since I spoke about it here I do feel better. And yes he tries and actually makes orgasm, something I couldn’t do with my ex partners even the ones that were 8. So you are right on that. 

[Smallbeans]

@MrsA good. Sometimes just getting it off your chest makes you feel a bit better and I’m glad it has. 

If you feel like you should seek professional help then by all means but sometimes just having the conversation about the problem works it out. 

He sounds like the kind of guy who would do anything to help you and I’m sure he would appreciate you just being honest about the way you feel. 

I hope some of what I’ve said helps. I’m in no way an expert in anything. Just a guy trying to help  

[MrEss]

I'm a guy, so can't say I know what you're going through.  But . . . except for age, I could be your hubby. (see my new member submission )

 

Perspective on Micro-Penis

My wife and I were married over 50 years, had 4 kids, and NO - she didn't orgasm every time.  But both of us had a lot of fun trying. As I said in "Perspective" she quite often took the initiative and was not bashful in wanting 'little guy'. In her 70's (2 weeks before she died) she bluntly said " I want you - I want you to Fxxk me". Over the years we both learned some things from Porn - some good, some yuck.  I surmise that your apprehension might well be as a result of the Porn exposure. Keep reminding yourself that the participants in porn are ACTORS.  Sure, some guys have a longer, fatter member and some girls have DD breasts and a longer clit. But unless you're making videos to supplement income, don't let size matter.  I am sorry that my wife isn't here to tell you about the important things in life. I do miss her (yes, the dicky-dunkin too). I never dreamt that at my age I would miss licking her clean  afterwards. We focused on what was rather than what some porn producer wanted us to believe. I do pray that you will be able to overcome your concerns, find true happiness, and live each day as if it were your last.     'Smallbeans' above said it nicely - and in fewer words.

[Daveuk]

Welcome to the forum MrsA

[Guest]

On 5/26/2018 at 9:47 AM, MrsA said:

Thanks so much! And yes it does ever since I spoke about it here I do feel better. And yes he tries and actually makes orgasm, something I couldn’t do with my ex partners even the ones that were 8. So you are right on that. 

It interest me that you miss large penises eventhough you didn't orgasm with them (some or all?).

I was recently introduced to the concept of social-sexual hierarchy  at this site when someone linked https://youtu.be/1Ua2XnYlm-o  

Before I got married I had sex with quite a few large and small guys.  Now, I realize that I like the confidence and self esteem of so called alpha guys for sex.  That was what I missed most with my husband, not orgasms, though those were different also.  Alpha guys usually have a big penis, but not always.