IrmaJean Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 It's been a long while since I shared a hug with my former therapist. Don't remember the day...but it is a very fond and warm memory and something I can hold. One thing I try to think of that helped me with separating from him...I internalized our relationship. It's with me, always. His voice will still speak to me...not in a literal sense...but I will often recall his words, his wisdom and his humility. I have also shared what I learned from my experience with him with others. He helped me to discover my own inner therapist. So when I access this part of myself, I am reminded of him, I am reminded of our shared moment on the journey, and I also give to others, which in turn allows me to give back to myself. It's a warm feeling and part of me. And he's still there, encouraging me and helping me to access my own inner resilience. Just some things to think about. Take care, LaLa. Happy hugging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athena Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 When we are sitting doing nothing, we are pretty much our memories. It is so nice you have this happy memory to share Lala. I'm happy for you:). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted November 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Thanks, Amy., IJ and Athena... I think I still have to "grow up" to become able to "use" my "internalized therapist" the way you do, IJ. I can (sometimes/often?) use what he's given to me when writing to others here, his presence in my mind can be a source of will and power in some situations, but... I still miss him, his physical presence, sometimes. However, I think it's pretty normal: How could I not be missing him after that all? Moreover, when I told him: "I'll miss you so much...", he replied: "I'll miss you, too" - so I can conclude... not even he thinks [oh, my English again! I mean: he doesn't think] that missing would be something "inappropriate". I know I'm lucky that I don't miss him, so far, very badly, just to a "reasonable" extent (I just have some moments when I feel very sad, but in general, I'm fine)... I feel silly that I post about this - such a banal issue... *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Hmm...Mine said the same when I was crying and he asked what I was thinking. I said I'll miss you and he responded I'll miss you too. Nothing inappropriate about being human and caring about clients. It's a real relationship...it's just different. Take care, LaLa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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