Would'nt ya know it

[58corvette]

I have now made an attempt at contacting Salvation Army for Advise & Assistance. I will be waiting their responce.

[randomperson]

I hope they can help.

I have an idea just thought I would pass it on.

Have you thought about creating a social networking campaign to help your son get on the show. Tell your story, the story of your son. Create a site, fan page or link or something (free of course) where people can gather in support. Then have ways they can send messages to the show and also show they support it. Tell them to tell there friends.. let it snowball.

[58corvette]

Thanx for the Idea Random;

As it is My Son is kind of a Private Person. And is going to be very Angry at me even letting people here or others know he has a problem.

So although the show itself is Public I dont really want to make it that public on the internet to draw attention to him or myself. And I still dont know if he will be a willing Participant?

I have watched the show & I have seen how it has helped so many people at wits end with no other resourses. So for me if I had any type of Insurance or he did without the knowledge of so many people knowing he has a problem I would do that.

Again Though Thanx so much for your Suggestion;

Sincerely; Jim

[shanrucas]

I really wish I had some words of wisdom to share in this situation. Unfortunately as you said it may take him to hit his rock bottom, which is not going to be easy to watch, before he realizes he needs some help with his addiction and no doubt any other issues he may have to deal with.

Like people tell me all the time, you have to take care of yourself too, what good are you to him if you become so stressed out you become sick over all this....hmmm I think I definately have been told these very words myself.

I hope a solution will present itself..or at least a solution you can go after.

Shannon

[mscat]

Hi 58corvette,

Just thought I say I was thinking about you and your son. I hope things start looking up for you. I do agrree with Allen's post though. Addiction is awful, and extremely difficult to overcome. I have brothers who are addicted and watched how their lives crumbled. Best wishes to you.

mscat

[58corvette]

Shannon & mscat;

Ya as I woke up today; Im thinking to myself how were just surviving; Not Living. I have a Part-Time Job Interview coming up. I will give it my best but im not going to get my hopes up to high. Only to be knocked down Mentally if I dont get it.

Im trying my best to not think to far forward. Even with the part time job I wont have enough money to stay here at Hotel.

As for my Son; he used my car last night to get us some food; so we at least have something to eat.

As I said I am not offended by anyone Suggestions & Advice. Everyone is only trying to Help us I know. Again THANK YOU so much.

But as I sit here in this Hotel writing this & looking at MY SON sleeping his Life away & when he is awake Sitting watching TV saying Nothing at all; As a Father & Person I feel so D_ _N Helpless & Useless for both of us.

I have Nothing Left. My Twins are Living there own Life's the best they can & know how. Both trying to get through College & make a Meaningful Productive Live for Themselves. My Oldest Sister is just trying to get through Life & Still Has her Own remaining Two Children, Grandchildren & Husband to keep her Hope alive.

She has become an Advocate & Supporter for People who are survivors of Suicide Victims. This after the Tragic Death of my Dear Nephew (Her Son) & Friend. I commend her So Much for this. She has been here for me to try to help should I ever take things to far.

And Finally there is My Best Friend who Continues to try to Support Himself with Menial Jobs as he goes through School (At Age 53) to get his Counselors Degree & License in Physchology. He has (& continues to) been here for me through the years to help in any way possible. He raised his two children since they were babies on his own when his ex left him years ago.

That is so Rare for a man to be able to do. So I look up to him in many ways. Especially after my Dad Passed away last year.

Then there is my Son's Dear Friend (he has no Addiction issues) who I Trust very much & know he cares about my Son Deeply. He was with my son about a year & a half ago when my Son Lost it in another state & he phoned me for Emergency Situation with my Son. Although my Son was very angry with him at the Time; he helped Save his Life as I traveled to Pick up my Son in a Hotel & he was De-Toxing Alone.

If any of you have ever Personally Witnessed or Dealt with this it is a very Tough Sobering Experience. A few weeks back when my Son had no money for Pills he was De-Toxing again & much of his System was shutting down. I know he probably has down some serious damage to his Liver, Kidneys & maybe other Organs.

Anyway it is these Five People that I gave web address to for INTERVENTION & said they will Help & Write Show also. I Trust Them & all are aware of our Situation.

I have not heard back from Salvation Army yet.:confused: I will probably end up having to go to the Local one Nearby when I finally hit rock bottom; for Help.

I have'nt yet called Attorney-Doctor yet to Schedule Appointment to see if I qualify for SSDI. I guess since I have this Interview for Part-Time work I will see what Transpires?:confused:

So it boiles down to I feel like I really have no one myself to Live with or keep me company. And for Now I cant live with any of the people I mentioned above other than Possibly my Daughter & Her Boyfriend. That Situation I know is a Last Resort. As from past experience with (my two Sons, ex, & other Family Members) more Harm than Good has come out of it; do to her Boyfriends own Sketchy & Questionable Intentions.

Believe me I am weighing all Possible Scenerios. And yes there is slight hope & some possible Daylight for me Still. Should my Son & I Finally be seperated out of Necessity or Circumstance I will try & go from there.

In the Meantime I am going to stay by his side as long as I possibly can. I cannot or will not live with any regrets as far as his Situation. Right Now he Has Me; That's it. And for now as bad as I know it is & is going to get worse I will not Abandon or give up on him. I just cant.

From an Outsiders point of view or Anyone that has seen or experienced this themselves; I may seem Stupid; Irrational; Selfesh; Insecure (which I KNOW I am); many other things & as I said I know Everyone has only tried to help.

But I cannot Live with myself if I give up or Leave him now when he has given up on Everything, Everyone & Himself. Im not letting go. For now he has a bed, food, Tv & Me. And I have Him; My SON.

We are Two People; A Father & Son that live in a Hotel. Someday maybe I can look back & say WE Made It. Not I made & my Son is Gone. Im sorry it's just to much for me to even think about. My emotions are hitting now at the thought of it; so now I have to Stop my Writing & Rambling.

[randomperson]

I understand. No one blames you in the least for your choices.. personally I think you are doing the best you can out of some tough times. My mom is on disability.. I will warn you it is an uphill struggle. They are trained to turn down everyone. The approval process takes about a year if not longer to get on it. And they almost always reject the first application.

As for the Salvation Army keep calling them.. squeaky wheel and all that.

I hope you get this part time job! All the best

[58corvette]

Believe me I know all about SSDI. My Twin Son who was in That Major Head On Collision a Few Thanxgivings ago is Still Dealing with it. And he is Permanatly Dissabled Physically. I just told him yesterday to continue that pusuit. As he is permanatly Dissabled do to not fault of his own. And he needs & deserves by the letter of the law that Dissabilty in order to Survive & have a Steady Income as He Continues to Pusue a Career through College that he can now Physically still do.

I will continue with Salvation Army & Thank You for your hope for me with Part-Time Job.

I just finished reading more about what you wrote on another Thread in Regards to your own Self Awarness, Relationships, Your Mom & Dad & Car Wreck. And I COMMEND YOU SO MUCH.

You are Definitely (in my Mind & feeling) becoming very Aware of quite a bit. As far as a Relationship with a Woman; I know there are a few right here who think your a Good Dude. Im confident when the time is right it will fall into place for you.

And from another Man's Perspective (ME) you are a Fine Gentleman.

All The Best Back At Ya Random!!!

Sincerely; Jim

[randomperson]

Your post means a lot to me.. thank you.

I think very highly of everyone here.

[mscat]

Hey There, 58corvette,

I commend you for staying at your son's side. that means you are a dedicated father and want the best for him and yourself as you both struggle through these difficult times.

Being a single parent myself, with a disabled son , raised him all by myself for over 17 years now. I understand about always wanting to be there no matter what the circumstances are.

I think it is great that you have a job interview ! I wish you the best ! About Social security, GO for it. Indeed it can be difficult , however, their are a lot of lawyers who handle Social Security claims, and do not charge a dime unless a claim is approved, then they can only collect so much. I am on SSDI , and won at the reconsideration level. Which is the most difficult stage to win . I did it on my own, no help . BUt, by the time I won I was in a bad way. With multiple disabilites, mostly mental.

Just don't give up on your claim , keep going , even if it ends up in the judges decision.

You are a survivior, and it is good to just live one day at a time. Even min. by min. Glad there is food for the both of you, and nobody is going hungry. Keep calling the salvation army for assistance, the more you do , I think the better chances of someone over there to listen to you.

[58corvette]

Thank You So Much Again. Along with your Suggestions & Own Dedication & Perserverance. You Are An INSPIRATION for me!!!

Love your Dog. Miss my Dog "THUNDER". They are are Loyal Friends for sure.

Sincerely; Jim

[mscat]

JUst reading your posts , I can tell just how much you love your adult son, and how you are fighting , surviving tells a lot about your character.

Yes, my little yorkie, and shih tzu help me tremendously. They are service dogs. I rcently added one more. she is anther yorkie , just a puppy . My brother found her one very cold morning running in the streets, while school children tormented her. She was freezing , wet, matted, and stinky. She had a rope tied to her neck too.

My brother brought her to me, as a "surprise" But, he was concerned if this pup would survive.

I cleaned her up, groomed her, bathed her , and had to hand feed her for days. This was a few weeks ago. She now looks like a different puppy , and eats on her own. But, I cater to her needs. Feeding her separtely on a different diet, ect.

Just today my therapist wrote a letter for me for the apartment complex so I can keep her . I did try to find the owners but nobody claimed her. Having her has helped me heal from my own personal experiences of abuse and neglect.

These three little dogs are so important to me. I am not a social person , and literally stay inside most of the time, with dim lighting, and it has ro be quiet. So the dogs are my lifeline. Helps me stay focused and think about them then all the other stuff that is not so pleasant.

[58corvette]

Very Nice & Heartwarming. I hope to get back on my feet again so as both My Son & I can have another Dog of our own.

Years ago when our Dear Cat "Lou" had a Litter of 5 Kittens. The "Runt & last one to come out (with our help) was basically going to Die.

We each (Family of 5) my ex, my 3 children & myself adopted each one for ourselves & named them. Anyway My Son Adopted the Runt. On his own he had Feed him for Days & He ended up Surviving & becoming a Heathy Strong Cat.

We could'nt take care of all them & ended up only keeping one. They were all adopted to good People & housing. The one we kept was my ex's. That Kitten ended up having to get a Leg Amputated & with Three Legs Survived.

One day she came up Missing & we believe Coyotes may have got her. But all of it was a worthwhile experience & says something more about My Son & how Precious Life really is to him. He has a Big Heart & Compassion.

[58corvette]

My Son's car was just Found; And Completly Gutted & Destroyed. No Suprise.

:mad:

[randomperson]

I'm sorry is there any insurance on it?

[58corvette]

All I could afford was PL & PD. So it's History. You Pay Insurance for what you can Afford & this is what ya get. Never Fails.

[Sherzade]

I have been reading part of this thread as I wanted to know more about you and your son. I am deeply moved by your persistence and will to help your son. So much pain. And so much love.

My brother died last year with AIDS. He was drug addicted since very young age. It was hell. My mum did everything, never gave up, and I thought many times that she was doing too much. I thought that she too had to stop so he could do it himself. I too fought for him as I have never done for me. I gave everything. But he didn’t. I wished him do die so many times. And he did after a long process of rotting slowly.

My mum never gave up, whatever that means for her. But she blames herself to death and she asks constantly what else she could have done. If she had given up she too would have died. She too finds her indentity through her children.

Sometimes it just feels that there is no winning and one keeps on walking because that is what one has to do.

I hold you in my thoughts.

[58corvette]

Thank You so much. My Condolences to your family for the loss of your Brother.

The Best To You;

Sincerely; Jim

[58corvette]

Just finished my Interview. A bit nerve wracking; but I think Overall it went well. Allthough as I mentioned it is Part-Time that is something & gives me some Continued Hope.

As for my Son I see his Continued Pain & Suffering Daily & can only Hope & Continue to Support & be here for him as he battles his own Personal Hell & Demons(with Addiction). He let some anger out yesterday (with Hotel) & his suspisions as to his Stolen Car when he had to go view it yesterday at the Tow Yard.

I just want to thank you all again for Support.

Sincerely; Jim

[mscat]

Best wishes to you and getting this job. It totally sucked about the car. Yeah, maybe it was no big surprise, however, I"d of been pissed:mad:

Your son has to decide for himself that enough is enough in order to begam healing. I watched my brother come off drugs, the tail end of it. He began eating again and acted like he was so hungry . But, I know he backsided into it again.

My other brother is a heavy drinker.. He is the one that I have a good relationship with. I worry though. Wish I could help him . But, I too sometimes get sucked into the drinking. too easy and too fun for us.

Gosh I really hope the job works out !

[randomperson]

Great news about the job interview. Wishing you the best on it!

[58corvette]

Thanx Again for your Support.

mscat; Ya it is hard for both of us not to be upset about car & its direct affect on both of our abilities to try & continue to go forward with work, Transportation & such. Very Discouraging.

I can only Hope Karma comes back on whomever is responsible. I have also dealt with other Drug users & Heavy Drinkers in my Family. That is two Habits & or Addictions I have personally Myself not had. Lord knows I have enough other issues to deal with.

I hope the Best for you & your Brothers in regards to overcoming this issues also.

Sincerely; Jim

[Sherzade]

Good to know about job interview. I wish you the best.

[58corvette]

Thank You Sherzade.

[58corvette]

Last Night a Situation Transpired & I recieved another Desperate Call from my Son. I lost it a bit & phoned my Other Son.

He was released & let go as a missunderstanding was made. However I Do Know & am Aware he is Simply Continuing to head down the Wrong Path. Eventually it will Happen & I will have to Make The Most of My Own Life.

Anyway That & reading a few other things here Initially has put me in a Bit of a Funk Again. But it is as Most things are; Temporary. So I will continue On & Hope for The Best.

This Site has at least been a place I can come back to & let some things out. I have met some good caring People here & I am thankful for that ALWAYS.