Would'nt ya know it

[randomperson]

My friend I feel for you and I am sorry your going through all this. Just know we don't always have to talk about our problems. If you just want to chat we are here for you for that as well. Sometimes talking about problems can just get us down and it is better just to talk about easy stuff.

[Athena]

Happy to hear you are OK Jim. I can't imagine the choices you are having to make right now. I do recall however that a member of your family was willing to help you out for a bit, give you a place to stay I think. You have given so much to others, please allow yourself to accept others' help for a while. Sometimes pride gets in the way, just tell it to go away for a little while, it will come back soon enough:D. Take care of yourself.

[58corvette]

Im Sorry im just down & very negative as to my Situation & "Choices" if you can call it that.

I look at it as: Bad=Salvation Army (and this is no Guarentee)?

Very Bad=Daughter's Boyfriend

Terrible=Streets

Yes Pride is kicking in a bit. Along with Anger, Frustration, Embarrassment & My Age.

At This Moment in Time I dont Like The State of Our Society or Country. I have tried my Best to Find Legitimate Work for Myself. Exhausted All My Retirement, Car is Now Not registered or Tagged Thanx to Good ol Smog Rules of this State. Much, Much More.

Even tried my Best with My Son & To Get Him Help. Just watched another Episode of "Intervention"; All that Show is doing for Me Now is Give False Hope. You see People Get The Help they Need; But yet Here I am just as Desperate as many of Them & I have tried; But Not even a Lousy Responce from them at all.

To Me it is No Wonder People Just Go Bonkers & Lose it with ALL THE B.S. :mad:

[Athena]

Jim, here's a little something I thought you could use... {{{{HUGS}}}}

I imagined you taking your van and parking it on the top of Torrey Pines (coast of southern california, near La Jolla I believe). There are cliffs there that people Hang Glide off. It is such a picturesque place with beautiful sunsets and I imagine it would be warm this time of year. I still dream about a version of that. I also seem to have a memory of somebody living out of a van or small camper there the one time I went many years ago. A good place to sit and meditate as well. Apparently the best Qi (energy) comes from the air you breath in on a cliff by the ocean. I certainly felt it there.

Anyway, if it's not feasible for you, perhaps you could find a little peace in the imagery.

[randomperson]

Maybe try other shows besides intervention, like Ellen or something like that.. what could it hurt? I wish you lived in my neck of the woods you could stay at my house. The state of the country is frustrating simply because we all know it doesn't have to be like this if it wasn't for just pure greed of some.

[Lindamomof7]

...............

[58corvette]

You know i guess it's really going to boil down to when I have no choice; I will have to make a choice. Im just pretty D_ _M confussed & Frustrated Right Now.

No doubt if I was more Social in My Current Predicement & Situation I Might?, be better off.

That's all I have for Now. Sorry

[randomperson]

I can tell your not looking forward to staying with your daughter's BF.

I am guessing there is a big reason sounds like there is friction in the relationship?

I know it is tough and frustrating. I wish I could be more help.

I feel frustrated myself being able to give limited answers like government assistance. It feels horrible not having a job or a income coming in

And the government has made it tricky to even start up a business and work for yourself.

I'm a little nervous just knowing my job isn't secure right now.

I am sorry you are hurting. I'll start praying for you again my friend that a job of some type comes to you.

Wishing you a peaceful day.

[Sherzade]

Jim,

I am so sorry that things are really difficult for you. I don't know how to help you, but i want to say that i feel for you and that you are in my thoughts.

I wish there was some more humanity for people who are more vulnerable than others. The world is indeed a rough place for some. Although i don't know much about the USA social system i am hoping and wishing that support comes to you.

Big hug Jim.

[58corvette]

Thank You Sherzade;

I know I have'nt been on Site much lately & im certainly in no Position & Condition to be much help to Anyone else at this Moment in Time.

My Heart goes out to the People of Japan. I know Suffering in whatever form is Part of Life, it's just I look at the World Today with the Global Economy & Networking & many times wonder why Anyone in Any Place around the World should have to Suffer in Needless ways. Such as Shelter & Food.

I watched Part of a Program on TV this morning talking about the United States in many ways going the way of the Roman Empire. In my Current Situation I dont doubt it at all.

Of course all my talk, writing & words is not helping Anyone including Myself; and my Negativity is of no help whatsover. Maybe im just Hoping Someday for a Utopia here on Earth. I just wish No One had to be Poor & Suffer. Im not saying People should'nt have the right to seek a better Life for themselves through Money & have the Freedom to be Whatever they Choose.

It's just I wish we had a better System around the World to Insure no one worry about Shelter or Food on a Daily Basis.

I watched a Food Program with Anthony Bordain where he visited Cambodia. A Country I remember as part of the Vietnam War that Suffered Terribly. Today The Country & It's People are Happy & Much Better Off. Did My Heart Good to see this.

I am a few weeks now from being Homeless, I have done my best to Find Work. Ya im starting to Freak out & I feel the Walls coming down on me. I have worked for over Thirty Years of My Life & I know now it will be many more years (Hopefully) of Work just to Survive & Have Some Type of Life.

I know I have recieved Advice & Suggestions from People here on This Site who are trying to Help. THANK YOU. Right now I have just Lost to Much Faith, Hope & Desire within Myself & My Country.

Believe me if I could Figure out how to Better Help Myself & My Predicement I would. At my Age with Three Adult Children I should of had the Wisdom, Know How, Knowledge, Maturity & Responsibilty to Never have been where I am Today.

But I am & it is Embarrising, Humbling & Frustrating. So I have Rambled Again & Now I just need to Stop. Maybe Someday, Somehow I can Help Others. For now within the next few weeks I will Try Salvation Army. This is Depressing.

No Advice Needed. I just Hope anyone who Reads this Never Has to be in This Situation.................And Life will go on...................

[Sherzade]

Hi Jim, i've been thinking so much of you and wondering how you were.

Please ramble a lot if you need. You may not be "entitled" to social support but as far as i am concerned you are entitled to rumble. A lot!

We should be what we are and if we are more fragile then we are more fragile. If we are disabled we are disabled. If we are blind we are blind. If we are blind, deaf and mute then we are blind, deaf and mute. If we lack internal resources to cope more efficiently and to make better choices in life then we lack those resources. It is sad but not to be blamed.

I too worry about the economic crisis. I think that the measures in Europe are creating a bigger gap between rich and poor, which is very very frightening. But i don't know what's happening in the USA. I do know that your social system is not the greatest in the world

Jim, i think we all understand your feelings of hopelessness and no one here expects you to help. I am personally very pleased to hear from you. You have been of great help for me and for others and are being helpful for showing up and letting us know how you are.

I wish i could instead help you.

Do not push yourself to reply. Take your time and space.

I think of you and i hope for something positive to come your way.

Life goes on but you are in my (and others') thoughts. You are special. Poor but rich.

Big hug Jim.

[Athena]

Hi Jim,

I've been wondering how you were doing. Thanks for letting us know you are OK. Try not to read about bad stuff. When you're feeling down, it just seems to make the bad stuff so much bigger. I'm reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul" right now. It's quite an old book - it has lots of inspiring stories about people that remind us what is important in life. It's the last thing I read before I go to bed, and I've been going to bed happy since I've been doing that. You'd probably find it in a library if you're interested. I found the quote in my sign off below from there.

Keep well and my thoughts are with you.

[58corvette]

Thanx Again Sherzade; So Nice of You to Say & Feel.

Hello Athena; I read Parts of that Book Years Ago. It is quite good.

Sherzade; Sadly Although I Truly do Love Life & im Proud I am American. My Feelings about American Society is not good at all right now.

Like Mexico below us we Are becoming a Society where the Gap between Rich & Poor is Deepening. And our Social System is Lacking for Sure.

That is what has always Bothered me in all the Years I have Worked; It is Mainly No Matter the Company; about Greed & A "Dog Eat Dog Mentality. To Much ME & what someone can do to get Ahead & Screw the other Person.

Along with "Status" & "Power". I have lost jobs in the Past not because of my Work Ethic or Caring but because I did'nt go with the Flow or Crowd. Kiss someones Rearend to Get Ahead.

I have Paid the Price for Living a Life I thought was Moral & Correct. These are definitlley the Times I can Understand why People are Corrupt, Selfesh & Greedy. It will never be Correct or Moral. But Hard Work has not paid off for me in Today's World.

And Company Loyalty is Mainly a thing of the Past. We are a NUMBER

[Athena]

I read somewhere that material wealth generates "excitement", not happiness. I've never quite heard it put that way. I most definitely have a need for excitement, which is unfortunate because that makes me feel like I have to work my ass off to get it:eek:. But I still think happiness would be better. And I think that comes from enjoying the simple things in life, the stuff that's free. Jim, you care deeply about your son and you know your heart's in the right place. You know how to connect with people. It is those connections that make us truly "wealthy".

[randomperson]

It is great to hear from you. We have been missing ya

I think many of us in many countries are feeling the same as you.

It is getting more and more difficult for normal people to survive anywhere.

There is no security, no safety unless you are already super rich.

Normal people don't pay the lobbyists, no advertisements so corruption runs rampant now and life is getting more and more difficult.

I feel what you are saying. Don't be a stranger

We don't always have to give advice or talk about our problems.

Sometimes it is nice just to get a simple hello from a friend.

[Sherzade]

I am myself very critical and do tend to play alongside ethics and moral. But i am aware that i haven't learned some of the ways to live in this world.

But anyhow, as randomperson says it is very bad in Europe as well. Today i was made to understand that my time in one of my jobs may be coming to an end Lots and lots of cuts are happening all around Europe. A huge sense of insecurity has been installed. So i think: damn it. If i have to struggle and be poor i will immigrate and be poor in a sunny country by the beach. As Athena says, those are for free.

material wealth generates "excitement", not happiness

Love it Athena.

Take care Jim.

[58corvette]

On this Day 28yrs. Ago my Son was Born. Changed My Life Forever. One of the Best Days of My Life. I Love You Always My Dear Dear Son............................

[Athena]

I hope you were able to be with him today.

[randomperson]

So good to hear from you again! Looks like I might be looking myself soon as well.

[Lindamomof7]

Hey Jim, good to hear from you. Celebrate his birthday and celebrate you for geting old!!!

[Sherzade]

what a lovely thing to say.

Congratulations Jim.

[58corvette]

I want to thank many people here again for trying to Help & Getting to know some of you.

I have no more excuses. Basically I have become way to Lazy, Unmotivated, & let my Insecurities, Mental Issues, Fears, Selfesteem get the best of me. Now for that I have only Myself to Blame.

I had a Possible chance for a Job & did'nt respond because I was unsure who it was & lost Track from all the Applications I sent.

My Complacency is Now Costing me dearly. I have one to two weeks left & will have to face the Harsh Reality of Homelessness. Im so Lost & Confussed at this Point that it will take quite a Change & Miracle to Set me on the Right Path again.

Maybe i have juat been living on Borrowed Time.........Im So Sorry for the Timw I Have WASTED AWAY. If i dont get My S_ _T together Soon I deserve whats coming.

I truly hope no one ends up like this or in my shoes. I lost it years ago & just never really got my Act back Together. I hope to get on this site again one day & help others. Look back & say ya I was there at 52 (Damn) yrs. Old.

For now I am on the Brinkl of Losing Everything & Maybe A Hard Knock & Reality will bring me Back? Or Finally do me in & just Fade Away.

i have been irresponsible, need to Grow Up & somehow someway become someone I can be proud of & my Children can to.

I have just Flat Out Blown It......................

[Athena]

Jim, correct me if I'm wrong, but would you say that your current crisis started when you quit your job in order to be close to your son to help him out? Then the economy and the new location conspired to make job prospects very few and far between? So, you took that action with the best intentions and it came back to bite you in the butt. That's not your fault. It is what it is.

Depression has a way of de-motivating people. It becomes hard to make decisions, especially big ones like getting a job, or re-training, or moving, or letting someone else help your son for a while. I have struggled with the first three over the past year myself. And I have struggled to help my kids with their emotional problems when I am really in no shape to do so. And it is so hard to have a "Johnny come lately ex" step up to the plate with your child when it is clear that something different needs to happen.

The system only helps people out when they've hit bottom so I guess to put a positive spin on it, the closer you are to hitting bottom, the closer you are to getting meaningful help. I hope that you can get access to services that will help you get a job, or get training for a job that is more in demand. I hope you can also get access to free therapy to help with that aspect as well because you so need moral support right now.

One last thing - I think you need to start focussing on YOUR needs for a while. You are a kind and generous person but right now it is your turn to accept kindness and generosity from others so you can put your life back together.

[Sherzade]

Hello Jim,

I agree with Athena.

You are quite depressed and it does happen that when we are depressed we tend to do a fair share of self harm. Our (non) actions seem to drawn us to failure so we get the confirmation of what we feel already: we are rubbish!

I also think that when someone feels/lives on the fringe of society it becomes more and more difficult to come back and (re)feel one's sense of worth. Avoiding "coming back" is more frequent than you may imagine. The reasons are very often very low self esteem. You don't think much of yourself and you need help restoring you sense of self worth and value.

It may difficult as you are disappointed with yourself but try not to be so harsh on yourself. There is a reason why you didn't go for that interview and laziness was not it. Surely something far more complex than that. I hope you can see what it was and be more in control next time.

Take care Jim.

XXXX

[58corvette]

Dear Athena & Sherzade;

You Hit The Nail on the head in so many ways & in my Heart I know it. Now I just have to Figure out how im going to Handle whatever comes next.

I definitley need some Security, Focus, & Meaning in my Life & Myself.

Thanx for Reply's means a lot to me.