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Blossom

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i feel so unhappy right now. but that's nothing new i suppose. i feel so stuck and horrible horrible horrible. all my roomates are gone out to a party. i stayed home to try get some art done. i've been sitting staring at a blank sheet of paper for 2 hours now. i'm so uninspired. i was like this during the summer too. i hoped eveything would go back to normal and i'd be able to not be so blocked when i started college but i'm still the same. i really don't know what to do. i have no interest in what i'm doing right now.. i wish it was easier for me to motivate myself. this sucks. i feel very guilty. i obviously shouldn't be in this college. i think i might leave. i wonder if i were to run away on my own right now, what would happen? i could just disappear, noone would notice anyway, and move to somewhere else in ireland where noone knows me and i wouldn't have to go to college. i want to disappear.

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ohmigod this is so bad.. ive never felt so yuck, ever. ever. ever. i think i'll give up drinking. i'm home alone by myself right now. kinda scared. because i'm not well... but that#s my own fault. i'm very sorry, definitely won't be goin to heaven....

i wish i could be sober right now. i hate having to look after myself when i 'm drunk..

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Sweety, no one has ever died of this. Not like, talking and puking and then died. People who drink enough to die just lose consciousness. You've got most of it out of your system already; it's just trying to make you remember it for next time, now. :-)

Don't be afraid, you're okay.

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Go to A&E if you're really dying.

But you're not. You're spelling, and everything. Alcohol poisoning puts you out pretty fast, and you don't make much sense.

You're just sick, and I'm sorry about that. Get a blanket and stay warm, even if you sit up for a while. Be as good to yourself as you can. That's all you can do until your body processes this out. Oh, and pee all you can; that's another way you get rid of the alcohol.

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Take care of yourself, little blossom. Don't be too mad at yourself; you'll know better next time you go out. I finished the fairy tale and copied it to my blog, if you need a bedtime story. Good night, hon.

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Why be sorry for that? You needed help, even if it was just because you were scared and not feeling well. Where else could you have gone?

You're young, little one, that's when you're supposed to make mistakes. It's when you're old like me and still making them that it starts to sink in: mistakes are what humans do.

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