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Blossom

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i feel so unhappy right now. but that's nothing new i suppose. i feel so stuck and horrible horrible horrible. all my roomates are gone out to a party. i stayed home to try get some art done. i've been sitting staring at a blank sheet of paper for 2 hours now. i'm so uninspired. i was like this during the summer too. i hoped eveything would go back to normal and i'd be able to not be so blocked when i started college but i'm still the same. i really don't know what to do. i have no interest in what i'm doing right now.. i wish it was easier for me to motivate myself. this sucks. i feel very guilty. i obviously shouldn't be in this college. i think i might leave. i wonder if i were to run away on my own right now, what would happen? i could just disappear, noone would notice anyway, and move to somewhere else in ireland where noone knows me and i wouldn't have to go to college. i want to disappear.

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Where would you go, if what you're running from is yourself? What would you do, once you got there? :-)

It's entirely possible that you won't be an artist, honey. I'm not a paleontologist, or a microbiologist, which are the things I thought I would be, when I was your age. But I'm still me. Granted, a much different me than at 19 ... The point is, there's nowhere to run. You have to make a stand somewhere. You do get to decide whether to make your stand at art college, but you can't just run.

Maybe you're trying too hard. A blank sheet of paper isn't a very happy thing to stare at, after all. Maybe you should stare at a picture of a brave dogg, and see what comes to you?

I seriously doubt that you're the only one at that college who will ever have an artist's block.

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"Better" than what? :-P

You seem fine to me.

You need to give yourself a break, instead of treating you the way YKW does.

And I need to head out, so I'll leave you with this repetitive thought: get some sleep! :-)

We love you, little one. We trust you to take care of you.

Good night.

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HEY BLOSSOM

SORRY YOU FEEL SO BAD RIGHT NOW , ARTISTS BLOCK IS A BUMMER, BUT YOU KNOW THE THING ABOUT IT, ITS NEVER A PERMINANT THING , YOU WILL SOON BE INSPIRED, BY SOMETHING,

SOMETHING COOL , SOMETHING KIND HEARTED, SOMETHING FULL OF JOY (even if its hidden sometimes).

LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

MALIGNS RIGHT WE ALL LOVE YOU

TAKE CARE HUN

Jj

:):):);)

ps stay at college hun, or at least try to for a bit longer. everyones here for you

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[she can be bad sometimes]

horrible. blossom had a class on perspective today and she has a really bad tutor who can't explain things properly. blossom hates college but she likes the social life here.

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[i think there are even saints you could say that about.]

Perspective! That's like math(s)! No wonder it would be painful, especially with a lame tooter. :-)

Ask 'finding'; she used to teach that stuff herself, plus she actually makes sense.

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But Blossom nearly quit college the day before, because of something else! :-P

Yeah, I could tell you about the math/computer graphics side of the story, but I know your right brain would just have a tantrum and stick its tongue out at me, and it wouldn't help.

If I understand correctly (and I'm translating myself, now, from right to left brain), the basic point is to draw it as you see it, just like the Drawing on the Right Side book says. I can give you the math for why that works, but you don't need it, really. You already have the picture correctly; it's projected onto your retinas. You just have to get your (left) brain out of the way of "seeing" it.

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yeah well, blossom's tutor is making it out to be A LOT harder than it actually is! she gave everyone in blossom's class a long wooden stick to measure the horizontal line and vanishing point with. then all the lines have to be measureed with a ruler and have to join.. blossom doesn't care anymore because she hates perspective. she can draw better freehand anyway..

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Well, you know, information is a lot like food: there's a problem if you have too little of it, but if you get too much, you can always leave some. :-)

I'm helpless at drafting (technical drawing). They once gave me a ruler and a T-square and told me to draw a square, one line at a time. So I draw a line, measure it, make another line at right angles, and so on ... and it doesn't close! No matter how many times I tried it. I just couldn't make the accumulated errors small enough ... So now I use a computer to draw them for me. :-)

No one said you had to like everything you learn in college. But it's already given you more confidence: you can draw better freehand, apparently.

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well, yeah, but she kinda has to do well in this because she's gonna fail her other project.. that's why she should really quit college now when she has the chance before they decide to kick her out..

blossom sucks.

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Well, you're quite wrong about that last bit, bloggy.

You can do well in stuff even if you don't like it and you'll never use it again. Seriously. I majored in Biology, and I've never worked in it once. I had to take classes like Organic Chemistry or Comparative Anatomy ... Unpleasant, and never used.

Why do they make you do it, then? Because the real thing you're learning is how to learn, even when it's unpleasant, boring, and seems unimportant. Because that's what a lot of things you'll learn in life are, too. But you get through it, and you get to do the things you like to do, too.

All that quitting will do is teach you how to do it. You can; lots do. I dropped out myself, after several years. I went back, too, to finish. That doesn't mean I would do it that way again, though.

The "beauty" of being an adult now, like you are, is that all the decisions are yours. All the potential, both dreams and nightmares, are yours; yours to have and yours to lose. Don't short-change yourself, my little ladyblossom.

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