i feel so unhappy right now. but that's nothing new i suppose. i feel so stuck and horrible horrible horrible. all my roomates are gone out to a party. i stayed home to try get some art done. i've been sitting staring at a blank sheet of paper for 2 hours now. i'm so uninspired. i was like this during the summer too. i hoped eveything would go back to normal and i'd be able to not be so blocked when i started college but i'm still the same. i really don't know what to do. i have no interest in what i'm doing right now.. i wish it was easier for me to motivate myself. this sucks. i feel very guilty. i obviously shouldn't be in this college. i think i might leave. i wonder if i were to run away on my own right now, what would happen? i could just disappear, noone would notice anyway, and move to somewhere else in ireland where noone knows me and i wouldn't have to go to college. i want to disappear.