That's not one of the options, my dear.

You may not fight it today, but tomorrow is another thing.

it is an option if i make it an option.

I didn't mean to sound parental, little one.

I just wish you didn't see it as an option.

One thing I know is, it's an option you'd better be sure of. You don't come back from it the next day, once you feel better. You're just dead.

And we would miss you terribly.

yeah, and I thought we were going to become vampires and live forever? Dying is so the opposite

it has to be an option because nothing's getting better. ye wouldn't know if i was dead.

vampires aren't real

sorry.....

there's no need to be sorry just ignore me.

Sweety, don't tell me 'finding' wouldn't know, the instant it happened.

And I'd know because my little ladyblossom would never smile with me again. The only way I can imagine that happening is if she was dead.

how would finding know?

if i were to disappear it could mean that my computer broke or something stupid like that. or else it could mean that i'm dead. but there's no way ye'd know for sure.

She'd feel it. I don't understand it, but I believe it.

Sweety, what a silly argument. True, I might never know for sure. So, all that means is that I'd be afraid you were dead, even if it was just a computer malfunction. How much worse it would be if the silence stretched on for a month, a year, forever. Uncertainty wouldn't make it better.

i know uncertainty wouldn't make it better. i don't know what i'm talking about so ignore me.

Sure, you know what you're talking about: you're talking about your pain, and how hard it is for you to live with that, at the moment. It's okay; I hear you.

I'm just sure that you'll find a way to live with it, if you keep trying. It's hard, sometimes you feel like quitting, and that's when you lean on your friends. Those people who won't ignore you when you tell them you're in pain. ;-)

You know, it's true that once you love people, it's much harder to just take the easy way out, and kill yourself.

I rather think that's part of the point.

He is right there, if it weren't for other people, well my parents, I wouldn't think twice about it. I guess maybe it is important to make sure you have other people in your life.

i've been trying. everythings getting worse. my feelings are getting worse. they won't let me do anything.

yeah well that's part of the problem. i don't have anyone else in my life.

Your little sister?

or your dad?

they're better off without me.

Us?

When you said "they won't let me do anything", did you mean your feelings?

Because it's very possible to arrange your life so that you feel your feelings, but you don't let them make the decisions for you. That's your Core's job; the feelings are just one input.

we're in different countries.

yeah i meant my feelings. they're getting more intense than usual.

What does that have to do with how I, say, feel about you? What does distance have to do with feeling?

You're in an intense situation, baby. You're learning a skill (art) that involves bringing your feelings out for people to learn from. That will hurt if you haven't learned from them, yourself, yet.

i don't like college. it's making me hate art. i don't fit in here.

Meh. What's more important? Doing what you love, or what other people think?

I don't fit in lots of places. But if I want to do something, I won't let that stop me. Shove a little; people will make room. ;-)

i can't because my feelings won't let me. i havn't left my room all day today. i can't.