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blah blah blah.


Blossom

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i don't know what to say. i'm not very happy right now but that's normal.. i don't like being sad, i don't like being home for 2 weeks, i don't like lots of stuff but i especially don't like being chubby :D|

i'll need to start exercising lots and not eating again:O| ykw is already starting to drive me crazy. there's not much i can do about that. i'm beginning to wish i could drive so that i could go away sometimes. i need to make all my bad feelings go away so that i can focus on my painting. but i dunno how. i need to fix that before i go back to college coz usually when i feel bad i just don't go to college but i'm not allowed do that anymore :D|

i wish i didn't think about things so much..

it's really annoying having to be extra-careful when i'm at home. the littlest things set ykw off. then she sets me off. then i'm screwed.

sorry i don't even know what i'm talking about. i'm just fed up.

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I had a therapist who liked to work that way. He didn't believe in the really deep kind where you couldn't remember what happened-- he didn't think that was therapeutic. So I learned to go into a kind of trance.

One time when I brought in one of my paintings, he put me in a trance so I could look at it that way. It was soooo cool! It was like I was moving through the painting!!

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well. yesterday was a DISASTER. i woke up in an ok mood, watched some tv, did my workout video [that made me feel high] then ykw burst my bubble by making me feel bad. so then i hid in my bed for the rest of the day til they had all gone to bed. then i got up and started to do art in the kitchen on the big table. and THEN the electricity went >:(| i was NOT a happy blossom... no light, no internet, no computer, no nothing. i lit some candles. ykw got up especially to tell me that i'm not allowed to light candles. so i blew them out and sat in the kitchen for a few hours in the dark on my own, sulking.

then when i finally got to bed i read for a while [coz i have a tiny book torch] then i tried to sleep but i couldn't... i was sooooooooo uncomfortable and i just lay there for a few hours. then eventually i got very agitated and started punching my blankets for not letting me sleep >:(| then i moved to the other end of the bed instead and i slept. that was my day yesterday. it SUCKED.

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just rainwater melts me marrrrrrrrky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shower water is fine!!!!!!!

it makes me grow talllllllllllllllllllllllllllller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well, I hope you at least look like a pumpkin with toes, because otherwise, you wouldn't get far on your walk. :-P

Sweety, you already know what I think, and you know what you think. I hope you'll leave a little room in your mind for the possibility that how you feel about yourself is affecting how you see yourself.

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blosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssom went for her wallllllllllllllllllllllkies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

annnnnnnnnd it didn't raiiiiiiiiiiin and she didn'ttttttttt melt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then alllllllllllll the ducks started followinggggggg her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D)

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