thanks i'm sorry.

i can't though. i've been trying. everytime i try to paint it turns out really bad. i'm running out of time

Would it be okay to just paint, and not worry about "how bad", for a while?

Do lots of them without evaluating them, and then just pick the ones you like best.

that's what i started out doing. i can't. it's hopeless. i know i'm not explaining myself well. it feels like i'm being ripped apart inside.

I'm sorry it hurts so much, sweety.

"Hopeless" is a pretty painful feeling.

And I imagine that the other things you're probably telling yourself are pretty hurtful, too.

i'm having really bad thoughts.

It's time to step out of that part of your brain, blossomy...

i feel a little calmer now. i just need to not think about it.

hey blossom, i'm glad you're feeling calmer, i'm sorry it's so hard

thank-you starry, i'm sorry you're having a hard time too (

hey blossom, thanks, i'm ok, just you know, whatever.

so did you put the paint away for the night? I think that's a good idea. maybe tomorrow it will somehow be easier

yeah i put it away. i don't even want to think about it ( i'm working all day tomorrow saturday sunday and monday so i'll probably get nothing done then either. that's why i'm so angry at myself. i was counting on getting stuff done before tomorrow |

i'm starting to feel calmer now so i should just not think about it anymore.

what are you doing for the night?

ok, well i think it's a good idea not to think about it, that's what i do, and it really does help, because the situation is the same whether you're miserable or not.

uh huh |

i don't wanna go to work tomorrow | do you get an easter break?

goodnight star-star, i gotta go to bed now (

hey blossom, sorry, my phone died

I am off tomorrow for Good Friday but that's it.

Goodnight blossom, sleepwell.

Hope work goes ok!!!

[and I hope cucumber didn't make ye mad, he just wants to help....]

work went on foreverrrrrrrrrr....................................... i thought it would never end | but then it did.

my managers kept trying to split me into lots of pieces.... they wanted a piece of me in each department. it's really hard to be in 8 departments at once | i tried to explain that to one of my managers but she just said "oh, well it has to be done" in a mean voice >|

hmmm.

then rocker boy [2] came in. he didn't say anything to me, just gave me a dirty look and started strutting. it was very funny ) he is a diva and i bet he really is gay he just won't admit it.

i worked harder than usual today coz i drank really strong coffee this morning but now i'm out of steam (

i'm going out tonight.

i feel like jumping off a bridge.

noone gets me. my school friends don't get me. everything is pointless,. want to be dead. noone cares, just how i feel . blossom drank lots but it didn't work. it doesn't work anymore. she need help . drink used to help but it doesn't anymore (

blossom wishes she could have a real hug but she can't coz she dosn't deserve it ( everything is wrong. nothing t o live for.

someone stole her blankey (

hey blossom, sorry to hear you're having such a rough night

I'm sending you a hug, because you do deserve one.

thanks starry

last night sucked. today sucks. everything sucks.

i still feel like jumping off a bridge but whatever. maybe it would be for the best. i HATE my life. everyone HATES stupid me. i'm a waste of space. they make me hate myself. no way out. noone likes me. why doesn't everyone just pick on blossom??? that's what she's there for. nothing will ever get better.

Blossom,

Im sorry that you are feeling so hurt and upset

It wouldnt be for the best if you jumped off a bridge - it would hurt you (like megga OUCH)

Hmm, although if you were attached to a bungee rope Im guessing it would be ok - still scarey though.

we dont hate you, and do not think you are stupid. Im sorry that people are unfairly taking thier own problems out on you, you dont deserve that at all

were here for you hun, we love you and care about you

thanks sue. i just want to be gone though.

I know how it feels to want to be gone lil big sis, but seriously thats not the answer hun.

Things will get better blossom, they wont always feel like this. There are so many good things for you to discover. Like really cool, wonderfully awesome things, but you need to be around to find them.

We love you lil big sis, we need you, please STAY I would hate to loose another sis

Talk to us, it might help a little