shanrucas Posted February 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Thinking about applying for a job I saw advertised...problem if I get it I will still have caregiving issues, even worse, since it is a full time position, but I want to work so bad...looks like I am going to have to spend a lot of money before I make any.I am just so tired of hearing from various agencies and organizations "sorry we cannot help you". All because my mom has a small retirement income. The retirement money from my dad is almost gone, but mom will have hers for many more years to come, no one will offer any help untill it's all gone...tell does our world make any sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tash28 Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hi shannonCant you put your mums moneey into your bank account but she can still have it. This is so you dont have to declare it and then they will have to help you if they think you have no money. Bit naughty I know but you cant keep going on like this with no support for your mum.Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 ....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 Wow,,what a breakthrough moment. I hope that you do ok, sometimes things like that take awhile to totally sink in..I know memories like that, that have been buried so deep and then Wham! well it can really shake things up.Well hang on and fasten your seat belt for the ride that may follow, do what you need to take care of yourself and to be safe.Glad you are back, missed you. (((Linda)))Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Hey Shannon You ok??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Im doing ok...just haven't been on the computer as much lately, mom really keeping me up and busy, seems that anytime I sit down to log in she needs me, or even if I am on the phone..its like having a big kid.Also I have admit that maybe I am more disappointed than I thought that my thread had to be closed, even though I agree that it had to be done. I appreciated Maligns attempt to open the discussion to conflict and how to cope, I feel that this is an issue I truly need to deal with in all aspects of my life. But I don't feel we are ready to open up a discussion like that just yet. I know that my last attempt I am hesitant to post anything for right now. I so what to heal all friendships broken and move on, but I have no control over such matters and have to realize to let it go.Not to mention I am just to plain tired. I just need to rest so that I can find the motivation to figure out somethings for the future.exhausted, Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Linda,I want to address both your suggestion about a conflict resolution thread, and the reason why I felt I had to edit your post.The second one first: I understand that you still have anger from the past conflict. I understand that you want to express it.But the main thing about conflict is that it involves two sides, two viewpoints. Barring insanity, which does not apply to the recent conflict, both viewpoints have validity to the people who hold them.What's required to resolve a conflict is not to keep pressing one's own viewpoint; that's conflict continuance. Resolution starts when the people in the conflict begin to see that the other person(s) have a viewpoint, too.That's not the same as agreeing about the viewpoints. That may never happen, and it's not required. But it's not possible to agree to disagree until that minimum amount of respect is accorded to the other side.And that's why I don't think we're ready for a conflict resolution thread, though I welcome other views. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 How is Elijah doing? Anyone heard from him lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 ..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randomperson Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am sorry that all of this happened to this community. I care for everyone involved.Perhaps the real lesson is to understand how to best deal with pains that do not heal fast, conflicts that can not be resolved peacefully.This is something I would love to learn and discuss myself as it is something we all face at times. At the same time this is very fresh and I feel discussing it could by mistake lead to more conflict and re open wounds that were just starting to heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes, Linda,I see the ongoing struggles of the people you mentioned, and the threads they've created. I also see the struggles of the other people, who aren't posting openly any more ... It's sorta what I do here.No one said you had to be quirky or joking to be supportive. I know that your intention is to support the people you were talking directly to, but you know that those are not the only people who read what you say. For that reason, I'd like to keep the posts a little less accusational.You are entitled to have your own opinion; I myself have many. What neither of us is allowed to do is to post them indiscriminately, with either no regard for how it makes others feel or worse yet, a deliberate attempt to harm.As for a thread that attempts to help people learn about conflict resolution, I'm all for it. In fact, that's probably the mistake that I made, trying to have that discussion within the Quest for My Normal thread. I'm willing to let one start; there's no prohibition against doing so. My concern is that it be used for its intended purpose, that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I HATE conflict but I certainly don't run away from it and be bullied into doing so.I'm wondering if there could be something deeper behind this with you that has to do with something other than the interactions on here. And like I said' date=' just listen to ALL the members. [/quote']We're listening, Linda, but this goes both ways. That means you listening as well. We want peace in this, too.I think it's wonderful that you are supporting Shannon. This is a great thing. In order to work on resolving conflict, as Malign said, all who are involved need to drop their defenses some and be willing to at least try to understand where the other side is coming from. That works both ways too. This means giving different viewpoints a chance in your mind. There is a lot of perception involved and perception can be a tricky thing. Sometimes we perceive things through our own pains rather than seeing them as they are. I do it all of the time...The key is to be willing to look at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hi everyone, I support the idea of opening a discussion about this issue, I just want it to truly be about resolution and coping. I would be totally disappointed if were to turn into who is right and who is wrong discussion as that is not what its about.If everyone is ready to discuss this, I only ask that a new thread be started. A thread perhaps in a more appropiate catagory. I had started this thread as well as Quest for My Normal in the bipolor section as this is what I wanted to discuss dealing with and finding my path in handling the stresses that come with it.As for myself I have begun to heal and mend. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I have to laugh at myself a little here, I keep logging off intending to take a nap while mom takes hers, but then I will have a thought and I jump back on. Racing thoughts I guess.Anyway...I want to acknowledge the moderators for doing their job. During the last conflict on my other thread you jumped and did your best to intervene and referee, I for one appreciate that. You did your best to open up the discussion so that healing could begin. Not an easy job to do.Ok ...I am going to take a nap for real now...maybe:DShannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I've opened a Conflict Resolution thread here.I suggest we transfer that discussion there, and let Shannon have her thread back for its original purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Do you want me to start a thread on this topic in general coping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 we must be typing at the sametime, thanks linda for doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 haha we are all posting at the same time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I mean thank you Malign....ok nap time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanrucas Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 LOL with everyone typing at the same time...gonna blow up my thread...great one closed and the other blown up:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am so glad to see your sense of humor back, I have MISSED it!!!! How is Mom doing? Are you getting any sleep and did you go out riding recently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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