John Cleese

[Endlessnight]

Someone sent this to me and I couldn't stop laughing...I love John Cleese. I hope noone finds this offensive, but if they do i will remove it.

Announcement:

Threat Levels Raised - from the BBC - Read by John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed"to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised

its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday, as usual; the only threats they are worried about are NATO and the European Commission pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready

to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be all right, Mate." Three more escalation levels

remain: "Crikey,!" "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level...

[finding my way]

That made me laugh too, knowing how the English like to sport with "insults." They do not take themselves too seriously when they do it...

[Luna-]

This is lovely, EN. I had a good laugh.

[Athena]

Being of Scottish/British descent, this sure explains a lot. Pre-separation, my repressed Brit side prevailed. Now, I'm at the highest Scottish alert level:):eek: Thanks for the laugh, EN.

Oh, and the adversary is Irish. Well, there is a history of violence with this mix.

[shanrucas]

I Love It! Have always been a John Cleese fan...loved Monty Python, I just dig that type of humor. Thanks for sharing this, it has put smile on my face, couldn't help but laugh.

[Ralph]

I was cracking up the whole time reading this, especially the Spanish navy bit.

[Guest deadman]

Edited June 12, 2011 by deadman

[Athena]

HA HA HA HA! Good one, DM, thanks for posting it. It had a hint of Deja vu, I think I recall seeing it about half a century ago. Now, why can't I keep THOSE memories top of mind instead of the unhelpful ones?

[Endlessnight]

Glad everyone liked it. I'm a big fan of Monty Python too. Deadman, thanks for your link but I have to warn you: watch a lot of Monty Python skits and that vestigial smile you mentioned might actually become a permanent one! .

[MrTyler]

I think John Cleese should be knighted, awarded the order of the garter and made secretary general of the United Nations!

[Endlessnight]

I second the motion!

[mscat]

That was pretty funny , LOL . Got me snickering, which I have not done so in a long time>

[LaLa]

I'm very surprised that I haven't noticed this thread before!!

I'd like to contribute at least a bit .

Enjoy:

[LaLa]

One more, not because of Fox news (I know almost nothing about them, although I can quickly recall some TV channels in our country whose news this might be applied to ):

[media=]

[LaLa]

I watched some more MP videos yesterday and chose these to share:

Monty Python - How To Do It - I think that this might be seen also in the context of some kind of "self-help books" and some kind of advises people sometimes give (maybe including me )

Monty Python - Vocational Guidance Counsellor

[Daveuk]

Love Fawlty towers and cleese 

"Manual there is too much butter on those trays"

"No no no un duex trio"

[Daveuk]

http:// https://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218